the unlikely orange

i remember watching the old cartoon “The Jetsons” as a kid, enjoying the idea of flying cars, and robots making your meals for you at the push of a button.   at some point i concluded that this was a vision of our future, and sometimes, i have to admit, i look around and wonder where the flying cars are, or why we haven’t figured out a way to have smell-a-vision.   i mean, it’s 2018, people!   if i cant taste it through the TV, i want to at least smell what they’re making on the Great British Bakeoff!   but today i read an amazing article by Avinash Kaushik about some of the technological advances that are happening in our world; things that will continue to unfold and evolve during our lifetimes.    he anticipates that by the time the next generation is reaching adulthood that we will have two categories of humans: organic and augmented.   he further suggests that by 2075 or 2100 all humans could be augmented.   augmented how?   wel...

listen, i share this with you as a public service, in part because no one's life is complete without an ice cream-pooping unicorn and a prince telling your how to squat to do your business.  but more importantly, i share this with you because you probably didn't know you've been doing wrong all these years.  all you needed to do was purchase a piece of plastic (made in china) to put your feet on, for the optimal openage of the orafice. i don't know about you, but i'm grabbing a stool the next time i need to go and, well, provide a stool sample, so to speak.  in the meantime, enjoy this wonderful testament to the accomplishments of western culture. ummm....yay capitalism and, um....murica!

One of the teachers of religious law was standing there listening to the debate. He realized that Jesus had answered well, so he asked, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?” Jesus replied,  “The most important commandment is this: ‘Listen, O Israel! The L ORD  our God is the one and only L ORD .    And you must love the L ORD  your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.’   The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.”                                                                                                    -mark 12:28-31 Jesus was pretty clear about it.  when you...

best workout song that played on my ipod while at the gym this morning?  without question it was the theme to the original popeye cartoon. 

i'm in a period of grieving. for who knows how long now, my sunday nights won't be marked by a whimsical imaginative trip across the oceans of time and space to 1920's england. i will be lonely without robert and cora, carson and mrs. hughes, mary, edith, and especially anna and mr. bates. thomas i could do without.  i'll even miss mr. molesly.  you see, downton abbey is over for another season (or series, as the brits say it). i don't care if they are two hours long, seven or eight episodes is not enough...it is unjust, i tell you!  seriously. i would be content just to watch the servants eat and work and talk. sort of like PBS's downton abbey meets CBS's big brother. i would watch that.  but alas, i cannot. so i will mourn for awhile, and just count my lucky stars that this season didn't end with a terrible tragic death.   i only wish mrs. hughes were here to comfort me.  long live downton abbey!  

"it is pleasing to the dear God whenever thou rejoicest or laughest from the bottom of thy heart."  -martin luther.  "take time to laugh; it is the music of thy soul."  -from an old english prayer book if it is true, as martin luther said, that "you have as much faith as you have laughter," then my faith has been strong recently, or at least abundant. because i have been laughing my rear end off. i love to laugh, i really do, and i will probably agree with any study - scientific or not - that indicates that laughing increases productivity or longevity or accidental urination.  its all true in my opinion:  laughing is really good. still, sometimes i struggle with laughter.  while i laugh, i wonder about those who cannot laugh.  those who are abandoned, abused, traded and used.  i think of those who do not moan with laughter but with hunger pangs, with grief, and with despair.  there are so many times when my laughter - as ...

what is making this guy super excited about tonight?  this.

-our boys had picture week at school this week.  i doubt that they give out prizes for the best looking children (why not?), but if they did, it is pretty evident who would win.  i mean, c'mon.  it's ridiculous.  see figure a. -i've been watching a new show.  it is british.  it is a modern update of sherlock holmes.  and it stars that guy who plays bilbo in the hobbit as dr. watson.  i am already addicted.  see figure b.  -on columbus day we went to my new favorite restaurant.  it's called haywoods .  it is in muncy, pa.  and they are steelers fans.  so the place is full of steelers stuff.  plus, they sell pittsburgh style sandwiches (fries and cole slaw ON the sandwich).  and the sandwiches are called things like "the clemente," "the roethlisburger," "and "the three rivers reuben," among others.  we got all dressed up in steelers gear, and ate well.  see figure c. -went to the halloween para...

when we recently subscribed to amazon prime, i was delighted to find that they had all three seasons of the original star trek for viewing.  i am not a trekkie by any stretch of the imagination (i had seen only a handful of the episodes, at that point, and have never watched the other related series), but i have long held a bit of a fascination with the original series from the late '60's.  i had seen a few episodes as reruns when i was a kid, and so there was a sort of nostalgia to it, in addition to the campiness that i have a soft spot for (the same reason i love those original batman shows with burt ward and adam west).  so i started watching.  and i just finished.  every episode.  in order.  all 79 episodes.  and it was awesome.  from time to time shannon would watch it over my shoulder, and she would mock me incessantly.  when, for example, abraham lincoln made an appearance in one episode, she not-so-subtly hinted at some...

i hate saying goodbye.  it's never something that seems to happen gracefully.  it always seems to be marked by awkward gestures and broken sentences that strive, but always fail, to encapsulate all that proceeded.   so we lower our expectations and try to convince ourselves that we are content with a hug/back pat combo, and some trite cliches.  i have a feeling that's what tonight will look like.  to be fair, we've been saying goodbye for a couple of years now, as things have obviously changed in our relationship.  but we've hung on, hoping that something might change, might click and make things different.  still, just because we've had a couple of years to prepare doesn't make this any easier.  if anything, the slow and inevitable glacier-crawl of this goodbye has made it more difficult.  regardless, however difficult it may be, tonight is time to say goodbye.  at 9:00 we will say goodbye to what was, for several years...

many of you may not care about downton abbey.  if that applies to you, move along, there's nothing to see here.  on the other hand, if you are completely and helplessly addicted, as i am, then you  may get as big a kick out of this video as i have.  it is the cast of downton abbey "speaking" the song "What Makes You Beautiful" by Britain's own One Direction.  it is very well done, and i can't stop watching it.  downton fans, you're welcome. 

-happy pancake tuesday, the final day before lent.  it seems a bit self-serving to indulge just for the sake of indulgence, even on the threshold of lent, but indulgence really isn't the point at all.  it was about ridding the home of things that you wouldn't be needing during the sacrificial season ahead.  so, if you're giving up chocolate, its time to finish off that bag of m&m's.  if you are giving up soda, might as well finish off those cans of pepsi.  if you're giving up swearing, well, you get the point.  -i haven't been feeling quite well the last few days, although i can't say that i've been properly sick, either.  i've just been generally exhausted, with a tickling sort of cough, and a tremendously heavy head, burning eyes, etc.  shannon said, "see, aren't you glad you got the flu shot?"  to which i replied, "no.  not at all.  if i had the flu, at least i would actually be sick, and could be lying on the couch watc...

there was a football game played last night.  i wanted both teams to lose, but i wanted one to lose much more than the other one.  i watched the first half, and then i watched beyonce squirming and gyrating half-naked all over the country's televisions, and then shannon and i, instead of watching this, which would have caused me some sort of life-threatening illness, i'm sure: turned the game off and put it in the first disc of season one of this: that's right.  instead of watching grown men bludgeon one another, we watched british people talk about each other behind their backs.  it was...brilliant.  and i didn't have to watch a bunch of these guys dancing around in tight pants and visions of plea bargains still dancing in their heads: and now life goes on.  at least the 49ers still have less super bowl victories than the steelers. and the ravens?  well, they'll still be the ravens.  and i will still pray that God will hel...

    OWWW!   that's the sound you make when you put a cotton swab in your ear.  at least according to this infomercial, which wins the prestigious award for most ridiculous infomercial i've seen in the last month.  i don't know about you, but i'm thinking that if the guy would just stop dipping the Q-tip in molten lava before putting in his ear, maybe it wouldn't hurt so badly.        but wait, there's more! if you order now, we won't only send you one waxvac for you to conveniently suck the ear wax from your ear, we will send you another, absolutely free! (other than an undisclosed "handling charge" not to exceed the value of the waxvac). now i need some help here. what possible use could you have for a second waxvac? are we in such a hurry that we need to go double-barrel and use two waxvacs at once? or are they admitting that the design/construction fo the waxvac is so incredibly poor that they are simp...

-thanks to my dad for showing me this hilarious video of a man hoping to break the ice.  warning: i have no idea what is being said in german, but it may not be "oh fiddlesticks!  that smarts!"  -i saw on the news today that there was a baseball game last night.  weird, i thought the season had come to an end.  i guess, despite the argument many people continue to perpetuate, that money doesn't buy you world championships.  pitching and hitting (especially at the right times) wins you championships.   take that, yankee haters.  -when i'm at the gym in the morning, there is a fleet of morning shows being played on the wall of televisions.  from abc to nbc to cbs, from fox news to msnbc, and everything in between, i get to see the over-make-upped hosts spew vigorously about the news of the day, as well as anything else that might be anything ranging from interesting to sexy to salacious, in order to win a viewer or two (and thus an a...

i've shared this video before, but i want to share it again because i stinking love it, and it makes me feel better every time i watch it.  pbs did such a great job with autotuning this and making something worth watching.  also, that slide whistle solo in the middle is absolutely tremendous.  so good.  right?  i know.  and they didnt' stop there.  they also remixed bob ross, the amazingly calm and watchable painter who entertained me everyday for at least one summer, if not more.  here he is: i love it.  he is awesome.  now i never really got into julia childs, but they made an autotune remix of her show, too, so you can see it below: well, there you have it.  amazing pbs goodness remixed.  and finally, i shared this on facebook yesterday, but i loved it so much i thought i'd put it here too.  here's hoping you can change the channel on your own thorn in the flesh...

-it's random tuesday time, folks.  let's see what's bubbling to the surface of my busy mind this morning.... -i love working out at the gym....its working out for me.  but when the guy on the treadmill DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF YOU is wearing this shirt, it is troubling, to say the least.  -yesterday, out of nowhere, caedmon said to me:  "we are God's lambs, but we are max's shepherd."  i couldn't help but laugh, picturing me shepherding max out on a field.  he would make a good sheep.  -last night we finished our 6-week study at church on Christianity and World Religions.  it was a very worthwhile study with about 20 of our members and friends, and i think we all learned a ton, grew out of some of our ignorance, overcame a bit of our fear, found some things that we can learn from our sisters and brothers of different faiths around the world, and realized once again why the grace of the Christian concept of God through Jesus Christ feels most ...

stream of conciousness on a friday..... somehow we left the garage door open overnight, and i've discovered at least one thing missing.  jack's not going to be happy about that missing razor scooter.... tom and jerry was a classic cartoon.  tom and jerry kids from the '80's?  not so much. yankees are going to bos*** (i really prefer not to type the name of that hot mess in mass-a--poo-setts) today.  fenway park is celebrating its 100th birthday.  the red sox are celebrating by starting the season at 4-8.  only 5 teams in baseball have a worse record.  so sweet.  when the only thing you have to celebrate is a 100 year old stadium and 2 championships in the last 93 years, it seems fitting to start off this way.  it's like me throwing a birthday party for my mazda protege because it's been a wildly mediocre car and even once went over 90mph.  but at least it has many miles!  woo hoo!  here's hoping the yankees do the...

-i think i slept in some kind of odd position the other night because this is the second day in a row in which i can barely turn my head.  if someone behind me or even next to me calls me, i have to turn my entire body to see them.  this presents an interesting challenge when driving.  'looking both ways' has taken on whole new levels of difficulty.  i was hoping it would be gone this morning, but i still feel like i've got a hatchet lodged in the back of my neck, and it has the flexibility of a cold steel beam.  (dangit.  i was trying to avoid all forms of the word 'steel.'  now i'm crying again.) -how great is it that "up all night" has moved to nbc's thursday night?  now i can watch parks and rec, the office and up all night back to back to back.  the only thing that would make it better is if "new girl" would change networks and go to thursday night.  then i wouldn't even need to turn my tv on except on thursday.  (you can tel...

--oh, how i love thee, random posts.  i don't have to spend hours thinking about what i'm going to write.  i just sit down and see what comes out.  it's liberating. --'new girl' with zooey deschanel is seriously one of the best shows on television. her charm is unstoppable and irresistible.  the supporting cast is really fun.  now that i think about it, it's sort of like "friends" for 2011, with less hairspray.  --yesterday caedmon looked at our stockings hanging on the mantle and said, "why do we have these giant socks hanging here?"  i guess he isn't big on Christmas traditions yet.  --last night was my turn to cook. so i had to make a tough choice between ramen noodles or papa johns. i think you can guess which one won. --our church is doing a christmas play called "live from bethlehem" this sunday afternoon.  if you're in the sunbury area, you should come check it out around 1pm on sunday at our church.  ...