the unlikely orange

here is a story i just read on cnn.com this morning .  i thought it was worth sharing:  Maryland man glued to Wal-Mart toilet seat By Leigh Remizowski, CNN April 6, 2011 8:52 p.m. EDT (CNN) -- Police in Maryland are on the hunt for the perpetrator of what appears to be an April Fools' prank that left a man glued to a toilet at a Wal-Mart store. If caught, the jokester who doused the seat with glue at the Elkton Wal-Mart on March 31 could face second-degree assault charges, said Lt. Matthew Donnelly of the Elkton Police Department. Police, along with the Singerly Fire Company and the Cecil County Paramedics, were called to the scene at about 7 p.m. There, they found the 48-year-old victim, who called for help after realizing the sticky situation he was in when he tried -- and failed -- to stand up and leave the superstore's restroom, Donnelly said. It took responders 15 minutes to remove the victim from the stall, but they were unable to disconnect the toilet seat...

-11 days until Christmas.  get busy being peaceful.  or be peaceful about being busy.  whichever.  just make sure you're not being naughty.  -does anyone else love the geico commercial with the pig saying wee wee all the way home?  i love that one.  -the steelers play the bengals this week.  did you know that the bengals haven't won a game since september 26th?  that's like 2.5 months ago!  i was going to do a whole post about the things that have happened since september 26th, but i didn't have the mental energy to compile them.  halloween, elections, thanksgiving, blah blah blah...the bengals are bad.  that being said, the steelers could very easily lose this game sunday.  do you hear that, steelers?  i'm looking at you.  stay focused.  make up for that mess against the bengals at heinz field last year.  which i attended.  thanks for that, by the way.  i will forgive you a little if you ...

-first of all, i just want to wish a happy birthday to both bilbo and frodo baggins.  those bagginses have been an inspiration to me by their courage and relentless hope, so i would just hope they both have a great birthday.  how do i know it's their birthday?  i write on this date in my calendar each year.  am i a total nerd?  yeppers.  -also, today is supposedly the final day of summer, although they are expecting temps in excess of 90 degrees here in central pennsylvania on friday.  still, as the heat of the sun says its final goodbyes, and the vibrant harvest colors of autumn take their cue, i find myself right smack in my favorite time of the year, weather-wise.  goodbye, summer.  it's been fun, if a bit sweaty.  i'll look forward to seeing you next year, you in your green and blue dress, and me with my arms extended to welcome you in a warm embrace.  until then, stay cool (well, you know what i mean).  and to you, my d...

you are currently reading my 999th post, which means (for the mathematically-challenged readers) that my next post will be my one thousandth.  of that thousand, at least 10 were worth reading, so i'm just wondering...does anyone have any favorites?  what was/is your favorite agentorange post(s)?  maybe i'll do a little "best of" feature for my 1,000th.  -in other randomosity, i never really got the chance to write about it, but the steelers played their first preseason game this weekend, and won, which is completely irrelevant, since the games don't count.  still, it was fun to see the black and gold in live action again.  things i am excited about: dennis dixon getting a chance; isaac redman running over people; daniel sepulveda kicking off; improvement from lamar woodley, lawrence timmons, key fox, rashard mendenhall and mike wallace; and seeing hines ward continuing his unorthodox trip to canton.  oh, and the steelers winning plenty of games....

in today's randomland, you might be interested to learn that country music legend willie nelson has cut off his famous long hair . --- also, in honor of the late art linkeletter , i will share with you that caedmon found an acorn today and told me that he had found a coconut.  oh how i wish that every acorn was a coconut.  that would be amazing.  --- in other news, there is apparently a great deal of oil (which looks like black smoke in the water) coming from a hole in the ground.  has anyone in BP thought about locating all the jack shephards in the world and seeing if one of them is somehow capable to put a big rock cork in the hole?  seems to me that it just might work.  --- and, for kicks and grins, and in case you need to give yourself a pep talk, watch this video , get to your closest mirror, and repeat:

here's a bit of presidential trivia for your president's day "day after." -- two and a half years ago, it was reported that when george w. bush traveled to austria, a special portable toilet was flown in with him for his use while in that country. apparently, the secret service was concerned that if president bush were to use the public plumbing, someone might tap into the system and steal his poo, which might help them discern top secret information about the president's health. so the president performed his private payment in a personal potty, from which the poo/pee was collected and sent back to the u.s. for proper - and covert - disposal. -- the secret service had good reason for their poop protection. the flushed feces of other world leaders has been secretly siphoned before, in an effort to determine the real health situations of those leaders. one can never be too careful, i guess. still, would you want to be the security guard on detail for w.'...

haven't finished your christmas shopping? well, good for you. you are officially being rewarded for putting it off until the last minute. just this week, fast food giant burger king has put a new product on the market that will make you the most popular gift giver at christmas since aunt clara. it is a body spray for men called 'flame' and contains a wonderful hint of flame-broiled meat. i mean, what guy doesn't want to smell like a cooked cow? tell me that women wouldn't be just drooling over a man who smells slightly like a whopper. seriously. go here and buy this for the men in your life. they will never stop thanking you.

thought gnomes were cute and innocent. read about this one's role in criminal activity. it seems you can't trust anyone these days, even the cute little statues in your neighbor's garden.

if you were considering dying, i would encourage you to check out your local municipality's laws first: you could be breaking the law and facing some sever consequences! ... French Mayor Bans Villagers From Dying The mayor of a village in south west France has banned residents from dying. And Gerard Lalanne has threatened "severe" punishment for anyone who disobeys. The mayor issued the unusual edict when it became clear that there was no room left in the overcrowded village graveyard in Sarpourenx in the Bordeaux region. In an ordinance posted in the council offices, Mayor Lalanne told the 260 residents that "all persons not having a plot in the cemetery and wishing to be buried in Sarpourenx are forbidden from dying in the parish". It added: "Offenders will be severely punished." story from sky news ... you cant be too careful, greg.