the hours

i was recently commissioned by a friend to make a collage for her husband that she could give to him as a gift for a family celebration.  as inspiration for the collage she mentioned that he has recently been praying the hours, and that his spiritual/prayer life has really been blessed by it.

People have prayed at fixed hours during the day for centuries. Quietly easing away from the obligations of home or work, they take a few moments to spend time with God. These moments connect them to the Divine, and to the countless others who are also pausing to pray the prayers designated for that hour, on that day. Prayers whispered and chanted, spoken loud and clear or murmured silently within, all join together in a continuous flow, a river of words from our soul to God’s. Praying the hours enjoins us to stop, let go of all that occupies us, and focus on the sacred at regular intervals throughout the day. Suddenly, every day becomes holy, for every day is laced together by our appointments with God.  -from "the divine hours" by phyllis tickle. 

 so i took the idea of the hours, a daily prayer cycle that keeps us connected to God throughout the day, along with the image of a clock as a circular representation of the cycle of time, and went from there.  for this particular collage i started with a canvas board, and then used acrylic medium to glue down some pages from a very old bible (i used the psalms).  on top of this i put a few pieces of masking tape for a more interesting texture.  i also then ripped some of the masking tape off, which, amazingly, gives a reverse image of the page underneath.  i then did several washes with various colors of acrylic paint, and filled in some areas with oil pastels to achieve the colors i wanted.  i then did the paper collage on top of all that.  i was really happy with the result, and, fortunately, the recipient of the gift was as well! 

"the hours"

mixed media collage (acrylic paint, oil pastel, found papers) on canvas board

gregory a. milinovich

book review: the last lecture

last week while i was down the shore at a conference committing all kinds of headdesks, i found some time at night to read a book that's been in my queue for awhile.  it's just a little book called "The Last Lecture" by a guy named randy pausch.  the premise of the book is that pausch, a professor at carnegie mellon university in pittsburgh, was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and given just a few months to live.  he responded to this challenge with charisma and grace, even preparing a final lecture as a way to leave some of what he learned in his life.  that final lecture is actually on you tube and you can watch it in its entirety, if you'd like.  the book, though, is basically just an expanded version of the lecture, and was a fascinating read. 

pausch is a really neat man, who had the courage to keep dreaming big, even after he became an adult, and the persistence to follow these dreams even in the face of obstacles.  along the way he has acquired a large collection of clichés that have helped him put into words his pretty cool life.  while sometimes the clichés are too trite for my taste, his irrepressible courage in the face of cancer, and his commitment to following his dreams is absolutely inspiring.  further, pausch is a husband and a father, and the book absolutely deals with his journey of figuring out how to be present to his family while at the same time preparing to leave them.  these parts of the book were equally fascinating and terribly difficult for me to read.  there is no question that his determination and courage are incredibly inspirational (inspirational in the literal sense: making one full of spirit, or Spirit). 

the book reads a bit like a collection of public speaking clichés, so i won't recommend it as a great literary achievement.  but i will recommend it as an incredibly honest account of one man's journey of a diagnosis of cancer and impending death, his struggle to remain a present husband and father in the midst of the journey, and his quest to share his hope and dreams with the world. 

unbearable/uncorked

it's pretty much unbearable for me to post this picture on my blog, but i feel like i have to.  yes, the bungles beat the steelers yesterday in another game that the steelers had a nice lead and then decided to lay a big turd on.  blech.  i hope the steelers wake up.  it seems as if they're good enough to be winning these games (although the defense looked pretty week yesterday), but just don't have what's needed to finish.  what is missing?  fire?  skill?  fundamentals?  coaching?  execution?  speed?  i don't have the answer.  but i hope that the steelers are putting pictures like this all over the locker room to inspire them to work harder so it doesn't happen again. 

my steelers haven't lost two games in a row in quite some time, so it gives me an opportunity to reflect on the fact that i am no fair-weather fan.  no bandwagon jumping here.  i love the pittsburgh steelers, as you know by now, and i will be continue to be a fanatic about them regardless of the results of these games. 

that being said, if you were to visit the steelers blogs that i frequent, you would decide that chicken little is most definately a steelers fan.  "the sky is falling!" is the general refrain all across steeler nation this morning, but i just want to say that the sky has not fallen, nor will it be falling any time soon.  the steelers lost two games that they should have won (sorry, vollers).  does it mean that they stink?  nope.  does it mean that the season is over?  nope.  it simply means that they are 1-2 and have their work cut out for them, particularly with san diego looming on the horizon. 

on a brighter note, the yankees are back in the playoffs after a year off, and, in fact, clinched their division by sweeping their arch-rivals, the boston red sox this weekend.  so we will end with a picture of that, just to try and get the week off to a better start. 

wager, part two

you may remember that i made a wager about the steelers game last week.  oops.  that didn't work out too well.  so, since i'll be wearing joel's stupid cutler jersey today, i thought i would share this little photo of him as hines ward.  this picture, and the constant reminder that the steelers have 6 lombardi trophies, will be all that gets me through this. 

slotw: taming the jungle

behold the steelers logo of the week.  i tradition that i started last week, which i will also immediately stop if the steelers lose again this week to the (who dey?) bengals.  the bengals like to refer to paul brown stadium as "the jungle," since bengal tigers presumably live in the jungle, and because cincinnati fans with mullets enjoy rocking out to guns-n-roses.  i think the idea is that other teams are supposed to be frightened by coming into the jungle, but the steelers haven't lost there since 2001 (which is nearly a decade ago.  just sayin.).  let's go steelers!  tame the jungle kitties!

interjections!

Hey folks.  sorry i haven't said much this week.  as i said earlier, i was out of pocket most of the week, and then when i got back we had a major problem at the church involving pressure in the sewer line and a subsequent eruption in the basement, resulting in more than a few loud interjections.  so needless to say its been exciting. 

on a less crappy note, my friend justin and i are playing a couple of sets of music at a local community's art festival today.  you can see the link here.   in case you can't find us, we are called, "justin and greg."  should be fun just to get out and sing and play the guitar (and the djembe, mandolin, harmonica and penny whistle). 

here's one of the songs we'll be doing, just for your saturday morning enjoyment:

headdesk

oh, and one more thing.

this is me at my conference:

everybody wins

"everybody wins"

paper collage on cardboard panel

gregory a. milinovich

i am at a conference down the jersey shore this week, and can't seem to connect to a wireless network, so i am unexpectedly a bit out of pocket this week, at least as far as blogging is concerned.  i escaped to a panera on my dinner break tonight so i could let you know that i won't be back to blogging until thursday at the earliest.  hope you're all having a great week. 

"everybody wins" is a collage i made some time ago, but just recently sold off my etsy site.  it's' always been one of my favorites, and was glad that it found a good home.  i've been working on some new collages, so more should be coming soon! 

jeff reed makes me cry

most of you can only imagine what i'm like after a steelers loss.  and without living in my house, you're just going to have to continue to imagine.  let's just say that it's not pretty.  i'm writing these words about an hour after the steelers threw away (or should i say kicked away?) a game in chicago that they really should have won.  so, given the wager i had on the game, and my intense loathing of mediocrity by the steelers, you can let your imagination run wild.  if you are imagining a pounding headache, an unwillingness to move, a refusal to admit that it really happened, and a mess of things i threw at the tv that need to cleaned up, you're on the right track.  i'll need a day to recover.  talk to you tuesday. 

blech.

slotw: making cutler cry

introducing....the steelers logo of the week.  my epically failed attempt at trying to be clever.  this may be the only installment.  or you might see it again next week.  depends on my creativity.  anyway, this week's slotw is a reference to a certain bears qb's tendency to look something like this:

(i included that last one just so you know it wasn't a bad habit he left in denver).  here we go steelers, here we go!!!!

wager

tomorrow afternoon the steelers will take on the chicago bears.  should be a fun matchup in the windy city, where the steelers have not been successful (1-11). 

it will be particularly exciting in this little corner of new jersey as one of my good friends, who i also work with at the church, is a big bears fan.  we've made a little wager that whoever's team loses has to wear the other team's jersey to church the following week.  so either i'll be wearing a bears jersey, or joel will be wearing a roethlisberger jersey to church next sunday.  can't wait to see joel in the black and gold. 

film review: 10 items or less

i watched a really good film on wednesday night called 10 items or less,, and thought i would just mention it here at agent orange records. it’s a simple story that seems to have flown under the radar a bit, even though it stars the always awesome morgan freeman. the film tells the story of an aging actor who hasn’t worked in 4 years, largely out of a fear of committing to a project that will fail. the story begins with this actor (freeman) doing research for a potential role as a store manager in a nice safe independent film (if it fails, its no big deal), by finding a small grocery somewhere in los angeles and watching what happens. the narrative takes an interesting turn when he meets a young sassy cashier who catches his attention. a series of events results in them spending the day together, and the meat of the film is in their interaction during this day spent together. two very different individuals from very different backgrounds find some common ground and some real encouragement from one another. it’s a great story that reminds us of the importance of each person in our lives: the guys at the car wash, the other customers in a store, and the cashier at the grocery store. Not that we always have something to give them, but perhaps that we have something to learn from them. the tag line for the film is "you are who you meet," which is a way of saying that we can discover ourselves - our true selves - in one another if we'll take the time to talk and listen to one another despite our differences.  do we do this?  do we listen to each other?  do we even see one another?  or do we rush by, content to compartmentalize people based on snap judgments and utility (is someone useful for me)?  10 items or less reminds us that it is critical to our own well-being to truly be present to others. 

(note: if you are thinking about watching this film based on my review, just realize that it is rated r for some rough language, and if that kind of thing bothers you, you probably won’t enjoy this film. Just saying.)

(note: special thanks to my friend for recommending this film to me. same guy who took this picture.)

throwback thursday: seminary

since i posted jack's 'back to school' pic this week, i figured that it would be great for today's throwback thursday to include one of my own.  this one isn't throwing back too far, but long enough, really.  it was 8 years ago, my first day of graduate school (read: seminary).  it was 2001.  september.  less than a week before 9/11.  i was as nervous as a pimply-faced high school freshman.  but it certainly was the beginning of a great journey for me.  this picture was taken in the first house shannon and i lived in, a small parsonage that the church affectionately termed "the cottage."  shannon made those curtains. 

lego church

saturday was a bit rainy around here.  and shannon had meetings at church in the morning, so it was just me and the boys and my inner bum reared his lazy head and i decided that we'd just stay in, stay in our pajamas, and play with legos.  at least until the college football games started.  we recently purchased an enormous bin of legos for $15, and so we've got an ample supply of little plastic blocks, enough that i can spend the day singing, "jack, jack, he's a lego maniac."  anyway, we had already started building a church, so saturday seemed like the perfect day for finishing the project.  so, equipped with pjs and coffee, i headed to the playroom with two short little guys with even shorter attention spans in tow, and started work on this puppy.  when shannon got home from her meeting she joined us.  the next thing we knew, jack was complaining he was hungry.  looking at the time for the first time all morning, we realized that it was now 1:15.  oops.  guess time flies when you're having fun!  we took a quick lunch break then returned to the construction zone.  i never even watched the college football.  we just built and built and built.  we had to laugh at ourselves along the way as we carefully designed the chancel and the communion rail, placing altar flowers and a bible on the altar, even taking care to add a little lego flame to the cross to deem it an official united methodist logo.  "church nerds," we called ourselves, snickering.  most people build spaceships or houses.  not us.  we build churches. 

and as i helped build a little miniature church brick by brick, i couldn't help but be struck by the obvious metaphor in my hands.  the song i remember from my childhood (its still in the umc hymnal!) kept going through my head: the church is not a building; the church is not a steeple; the church is not a resting place; the church is a people//i am the church.  you are the church.  we are the church together.  all who follow Jesus all around the world, yes, we're the church together.   (click here for the rest of the lyrics).  it couldn't have been more clear, what with me in my pajamas sitting in a sea of legos: the church is so much more than bricks.  its not the building that makes or defines or confines a church; it's the people.  its you and me.  we are, ultimately, the bricks that make up the church.  we are the real structure, the real mortar, the real "stuff" that the church is made of.  and if some are missing, then we are not complete.  there are holes in our wall, soft spots in our structure.  we need each member, each person in our community to be a present part of the church if we are to succeed in being a sturdy lover of our community, a church who is steady in goodness.  we need each person.  a church that is missing someone is like our lego church with a brick missing.  incomplete.  and a church that is more focused on its building than on its people, well, it's much like a plastic lego church: just a shell.

my heart breaks for churches with an edifice complex, whose buildings define them.  buildings, in the end, will come and go, much like our lego church will soon fall prey to two small boys who can't wait to unleash their inner demolitionists.  buildings will break and crumble.  but the church?  well, the church is something different.  Jesus said that even the gates of hades could not prevail against it. 

first day of pre-k

yep, its that time again.  in what has become a bit of a tradition (and by 'has become' i mean that i am making it a tradition today), we take a picture on the first day of school.  someday we'll line 'em up and compare them, taking care to laugh especially hard at the awkward phases and so forth.  its a rite of passage, really.  when you are able to surrender your pride enough to laugh at your 7th grade mullet, you've made it. 

anyway, enjoy these pictures of our little student.  here's something to compare it to.  its remarkable, not to mention a bit frightening, how quickly the time escapes.  everyone has always told us that.  it's a pretty standard sentiment, really, "enjoy all the moments, they go so fast,"  and, "before you know it, they'll be in college."  yeah yeah.  i know.  i'll tell you what, you come over to my house and do some "enjoying it" while changing a diaper. 

but you know what?  they're right, really.  the time does go by so fast.  just looking at that picture of jack from last year, and seeing how he's changed in one year provides me with a healthy dose of reality.  life is happening right under my nose, right under my roof.  every single day.  and all those days keep adding up and soon they become a year.  and soon a year becomes a bunch of years.  and then you miss the time you had.  so, as i drive my little (sometimes reluctant) student to school, i will enjoy it.  i will cherish it.  i will even work at enjoying the stinky and awkward moments.  because someday i will miss them.

other ways to win

so this is how its going to be, huh steelers?  this is what you're going to do to me?  you can win a superbowl and celebrate all year and then come back and win your first game of the next season, and that's great, but do you have to win this way?  really?  what ever happened to a solid, stellar, strong and decisive win?  ever heard of it?  it is legal, you know.  you don't have to be losing or tied in the 4th quarter.  you just don't.  some of us hope to live past the ripe old age of 54, but you are not making that likely.  your on-field antics are adding to big ben's legacy, to be sure, but they are also subtracting valuable years from my life! 

still, a win is a win.  and, even though you are yanking the years from me, i couldn't be happier that you started the season with a victory against a tough team who really wanted to beat us badly.  i only wish you didn't have to sacrifice troy's knee in the process.  i really - really - hope he's ok. 

and when we play the bears in 10 days, let's just try something different, for kicks and grins.  see what happens if you play the whole 60 minutes, and not just the last 5 minutes of each half (or overtime).  i'm just sayin.

throwback thursday: greg "the bus" bettis

on this, the first day of the 2009 nfl season, i thought we would throwback to my days playing for the steelers.  there is, for some reason, a real shortage of photos/gamefilm from that era, but here is one of the few pictures i was able to dig up. 

in case you didn't realize it, this is kind of an exciting day for me.  and by exciting i mean that i may need to change my pants a few times today due to, well, accidents.  this is the kind of excitement that causes me to do the following (much of which i have already begun here at 9am):
-put my ipod on the "steelers" playlist (which includes 'renegade,' 'the steelers polka,' and many many more)
-dress myself, my wife and my children in black and gold
-turn on the nfl network and leave it on for the remainder of the day
-read every conceivable blog/article/tweet dealing with steelers football
-change my pants (see above)
-pace uncontrollably
-recheck the aforementioned blogs to see if they've updated their posts
-look at the clock every 33 seconds, only to realize that time is indeed moving slower than normal today
-stand up in the middle of the living room and twirl a yellow towel around my head with such fury that you might think i'm trying to take off  (this is often accompanied with loud shouts and exclamations, or by the sounds of styx blaring through my stereo)
-change pants again. 
-break every clock in the house
-and finally, when the moment arrives, perch nervously on the edge of my couch as the pittsburgh steelers get set to defend their status of champions of the world. 

here we go steelers, here we go!

i thank you God, for most this amazing day

this is a photograph of the betsy ross bridge

taken from the deck of the battleship new jersey

by my friend daniel m.,

who says 90% of being a great photographer

is being in the right place at the right time!

ahhh, poetry.  that bane of freshman english students everywhere, and a curious topic that seems to polarize many.  i, for one, love poetry, and find it emerging from every nook and cranny of my life, words and sounds unwillingly joined together to say something (for utility's sake) or to say something (for beauty's sake).  it is quite common for me to be going along the regular mundane business of my daily life only to be stopped suddenly - my heart missing a beat - by the poetry of daily communication.  like last night, for example, when i was driving home from some meetings at church and i was listening to the yankees game on the am radio station, and john sterling, the play-by-play guy who tells you about each pitch, whether its a ball or strike and so forth, said that one of the players was, "mesmerized by that pitch."  now, he didn't have to say that.  he could have easily said that it was a ball.  outside.  the count is now 2 balls and one strike.  but that's not what he said.  for some reason, the need for clear communication wedded itself to an equal need for expressive imagery, and listeners all over the tri-state area were given the gift of an image of a batter mesmerized by a pitch, as if the curveball were somehow enchanted.  you see what i mean?  hid away in the mundane corners of our lives, even on our am radio dials, we can find poetry.  so, even if you are one of those who never "got" poetry in school and think that there must be a better way to say something (if you have something to say), i want to share with you today what is unmistakably my favorite poem.  it is written by the late e e cummings, who as you may know, shares a similar view of orthography with yours truly.  it is a poem that, like scripture itself, has time and time again roused my soul from sleep and lethargy and apathy to a full sense of being alive again.  the first line has become my most useful mantra for prayer, putting me in a place of gratitude and humility before the one who gives each day to us as a gift.  and so, enjoy it.  and by that i mean, don't just read it quickly.  get up right now and get a cup of coffee.  or tea.  or anything that you drink slowly.  then sit down in a comfortable spot and think about the words as you read them.  (to hear the author himself reading them, click here)  why are the words sometimes in an order that you might not put them in?  what is cummings saying here?  what sense does the poem leave you with?  you see, poetry, like chocolate or a good cigar, is something that is meant to be savored, slowly, turned over and considered from every angle.  it takes time.  so, here you go:  my favorite poem.  may you be, in some way, mesmerized.

i thank You God for most this amazing day
e e cummings

i thank You God for most this amazing

day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky;and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun's birthday;this is the birth
day of life and love and wings:and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any-lifted from the no
of all nothing-human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)

four days from now

ah, monday morning.  that most unfortunate morning.  the one everyone loves to hate (except on holidays, like today!).  but today marks a special monday on the calendar.  today is the last monday for a long time without football.  man, it feels good to type that.

on thursday night, four days from now!, large men in pads will kick a ball into the air, starting a string of some 256 games.  i, for one, am ridiculously excited.  every year at this time i feel like the isrealites, having wandered in the desert for 40 years (the off-season) and just on the brink of entering the promised land.  say it with me: four more days...four more days! 

to celebrate, i ceremoniously hung my steelers banner in the front yard yesterday (incidently, yesterday was the last sunday without pro football for awhile).  i did this last year, too, and the boys from pittsburgh took notice and brought home a sixth (SIXTH!) lombardi trophy, so, i thought i'd do it again. 

with all this pent-up anticipation, i finished dan rooney's book last night, "My 75 Years with the Pittsburgh Steelers and the NFL."  what a great book.  probably most non-steeler fans wouldn't be able to hack it, but it really does a good job of providing a quick history of the national football league from an insider's view, as dan rooney has really been involved in the inner workings of the league for a long time.  now the united state's ambassador to ireland, rooney is only involved from a distance, but his legacy lives on as his family continues to run the front office of the steeler organization, following in his footsteps and sticking to his ideals.  and boy does he have ideals.  if i loved the steelers before i read the book, i love them even more afterwards.  it is abundantly clear to me that one of the reasons that the steelers have been so successful is the integrity of those leading the organization.  they put people first, treating them with dignity and respect.  they have shunned a more corporate approach in favor of keeping the organization more like a family.  this means they have to make tough decisions from time to time, but their commitment to honesty and integrity has led to a culture of respect and love between players and the front office, something that is highly unusual in today's nfl.  there have been, of course, many other reasons for the steelers' success, including talent and luck, coaching and drafting, and so on, but it all starts with the quality of leadership, and the rooneys have been the best at that. 

i met dan rooney once.  i was at training camp in latrobe.  with my binoculars, i could see that off in the distance, sitting outside one of the st. vincent buildings was coach cowher, and, being young and brash, i thought i would run over and get his autograph.  i didn't want to miss my chance, so i didnt' meander over there - i sprinted.  by the time i arrived at the steps of the building, i was quite winded.  as i asked coach cowher for his autograph (which he gave me, by the way), i finally noticed who he was talking to: dan rooney, the owner of the steelers.  so here i am in front of these two men that i admire, and i am panting hard from sprinting some 200 yards, and dan rooney looks at me and says, "looks like you need to get into shape, son."  i knew right then that my chance of being a walk-on wide receiver for the pittsburgh took a serious hit.  still, i haven't given up hope.  anyway, i don't remember what i said to mr. rooney.  i was too embarassed.  but if i could see him  now.  if i could have a conversation with him in which i wasn't breathing like i just tried to beat stefan logan in a race, i would simply shake his hand and say, "thanks.  thank you for your integrity and your example and your commitment to loving people over and above your commitment to try and make a buck.  thank you for fiercely protecting this team and holding it to high standards.  thank you, mr. rooney, for being an inspiration and a role model when both of those are in short supply.  oh, and if you ever need an extra reciever to run routes, here's my number..."

are you ready for some football?

the 40,000 winner is...

so, to those of you who stuck with me over the last 10 days through the book of esther, thanks!  i should give everyone a prize just for not deleting this blog from their list of favorites.  but alas, i don't have enough prizes.  i do, however, have this little guy:

to give away as a prize to one of the people who commented on this post.  the question was what you would want 40,000 of.  we got some good answers, but only one can be the winner (for the record, i would like 40,000 superbowl victories for the pittsburgh steelers).  i used a random number generator this morning to pick a number for a winner and it gave me number 5...which means megan is the winner.  congrats, megan!  you get 40,000 hours of paid vacation for your husband so he can do home improvements all day while you sit around drinking iced tea and eating bon-bons.  actually, no.  i can't give you that.  but i can give you a little collage i made called "sunburst."  if you like it, great.  if not, too bad.  i expect to see it on your wall.  only kidding.  sort of. 

anyway, megan is an old friend and has her own great blog which you can check out here.  you should read this particular post if you happen to be feeling bad about yourself.  funny stuff. 

well, have a great labor day weekend, and i'll catch you on the flipside.  peace.

esther 10

in what seems like an afterward, added later by an editor to put a nice bow on the story, chapter 10 of esther is a mere 3 verses long.  all we learn is that the king imposed a tribute; that all his good works are recorded in the annals; and that mordecai rose to second in charge, held in high esteem by the jews.  as is typical of women characters in the bible, esther isn't' even given the dignity of an end to her story.  we have no idea what happened to her.  we only know that because of her courage, mordecai rose from sackcloth and ashes to glory.  in that sense, it is a redemption story.  but a messy one, to be sure. 

i hope that at least some of you have enjoyed this lengthy jaunt through what seems to be a both familiar and yet completely unfamiliar little story in our scriptures.  i (mostly) tried to avoid moralizing and sermonizing here, although it creeped in from time to time.  instead, my goals were to (1) show the freedom we have as we engage and interpret scripture to re-imagine and retell it.  esther is an ancient story now preserved on tissue-paper-thin pages of bibles around the world.  in fact, our bibles are full of these stories.  and we often only engage them as dusty old worn out antiquity.  however, if we give ourselves permission, and offer our time and energy and creativity, we can find new life in the ancient words.  we read in the bible that all scripture is God's breath, and i think that part of interpreting the bible is breathing along with God.  getting in tune with God's breath.  listening to its rhythm and pace.  feeling its warmth on your face.  for me, that involved gluing pits of paper to old ray conniff albums and writing free-form poetry that captured my response to the story.  i don't know what it would look like for you, but don't be lulled into thinking that the bible is boring!  here is the truth: while it may at times be difficult to understand, it is so often anything but boring.  it is full of action and adventure, blood and guts, sex and lies and revenge.  and somewhere in the midst of all of it, we find God, who still turns stories of brokenness into stories of redemption. 

also, i (2) wanted to highlight the carnivalesque in the book of esther.  most people wouldn't immediately think of this upon reading the 10-chapter book, but i rely heavily here on a book by Kenneth Craig called Reading Esther: A Case for the Literary Carnivalesque which presents a great case for how the book of esther is a particular kind of literature aimed at challenging people of power by making a farce of it.  the jews, you should remember, were in a period of awful exile, having lost their homes, their families (in some cases), their cultural identity, their language, their religious practices, etc.  they were a hurting people.  so, in that context, this book tells a story which, as far as recorded history is concerned, never seemed to really happen, in order to challenge the existing power structures (the persian government) and turn it upside down (even if in a farcical, court-jesterish kind of way).  it is a fascinating way to read the book, and you'll see evidence of it in the collages i made and the poetry i wrote.  in the end, the challenge for me is to be willing to use the platforms i've been given to challenge injustice (even if it's scary), and to be careful not to embrace the same corrupted/corrupting power that i have challenged.  it is an ongoing journey, the dangers of which are expertly and captivatingly exposed in the book of esther. 

again, i hoped you enjoyed this experiment.  if not, sorry.  good news for you: its over now.  tomorrow i will announce the winner of the sunburst collage.  you can still get in the drawing before midnight today (saturday).  just go here and comment about what you would want 40,000 of.  have a great weekend, and remember that you might just be called to be where you are...for such a time as this.  peace.

esther 10

paper collage on vinyl lp; paper collage on album cover

gregory a. milinovich

esther (ten)
it doesn't take long.
for long to look right.
backwards looks forward,
the world is upside up.  again.
we will embrace our new position,
with little grace.
if we pick up the oppressor's mask
and wear it with pride.
we become our own enemy.
as mordecai can become haman,
when the world turns over,
we can become the hater,
the breaker, the killers.
it is time to rise to the challenge,
to answer the call.
it is time to hear the voice
to turn the world upside down. again.
it is we who are guilty,
we who wear the masks.
it is we who play the game,
the charade of power.
(WHERE IS GOD IN ALL OF THIS?)
perhaps we have been placed here
for such a time as this.
perhaps we all have king inside.
perhaps we all have mordecai inside.
perhaps we all have haman inside.
who are we?
who will we be?
will we strip off the masks,
make a difference,
turn the world upside down
at such a time as this?
HERE IS GOD IN ALL OF THIS.

esther 9

oh boy.  we've reached chapter 9, and in what should have been a chapter of happy endings and celebrations of peace and restoration, we instead find a brutal bloody story of violence and revenge.  having received mercy, the jews in this story fail to see the benefit in extending it, and instead resort to violence, killing "seventy five thousand."  scholars who have argued for a less literal interpretation of the story of esther argue that this mass killing is not found in the recorded history of these times and places.  but regardless of whether it is 'true' or not, it raises a poignant question for us about what we do with mercy when its been given to us: hoard it?  or share it?  the chapter ends with a detailed prescription for celebrating purim, a holy day still celebrated by jews who remember the story we've been recounting these last 9 days.  if you have the stomach for it, here's chapter 9. 

esther 9

paper collage on vinyl lp; paper collage on album cover

gregory a. milinovich

esther (nine)
(what kind of story is this?)
death, death, death.
in this topsy turvy turn,
the murdered become murderers.
blood is all over the dust.
thick chunks of blood fill the world.
the blood of the jews, no!
the blood shed by the jews.
(WHERE IS GOD IN ALL OF THIS?)
when the tables are turned,
who are we?
when the masks come off,
do we start again?
do we just trade masks?
we will make a day to remember.
we will make a time to never forget.
we will celebrate our freedom,
but never mention the blood we shed.
when the world turns over,
who will we be?
the hangers or the hanged?
the high, high, high,
or the sigh, sigh, sigh?

esther 8

as we move into the final stages of this story, we reach resolution.  at least it seems that way in chapter 8.  when we get to chapter 9 tomorrow, that will be a whole 'nother thing.  but at least for today, we find esther petitioning the king one more time. she's been saved.  mordecai's been saved and honored as the king's new main man.  but this horribly violent edict is still hanging out there.  will all the jews be slaughtered?  she begs the king to revoke his irrevocable word.  and he obliges her by sending out a new edict, that says the jews are allowed to assemble and defend themselves.  mordecai puts on the royal signet ring and robes, presses the hot wax on the papyrus, and rides throughout susa and the surrounding areas with pride.  you can read the whole thing here.  for today, at least, it seems like a happy ending.

esther 8

paper collage on vinyl lp; paper collage on album cover

gregory a. milinovich

esther (eight)
what is the meaning of words?
can they be changed,
or at least rearranged?
can where be here or here be there?
can irrevocable be revoked?
can immutable be muted?
even in an upside world,
we hold onto something.
the law cannot be revoked,
but a new law can be made
with ring and robe,
with words and wax.
hang haman,
high, high, high,
on his own machine,
let his blood drip from the sky.
the jews will not be forced into fiery furnaces.
they can fight, fight, fight.
let them fight.
let them resist.
(what kind of story is this?)
the right hand man ring
belongs to the jew,
and to his people.
(WHERE IS GOD IN ALL OF THIS?)
the world has turned upside down:
the condemned are no longer cursed.
the blessed are condemned.
the right hand man is hung,
the orphan's uncle is royally dressed.
ring the bells, bring out the wine,
repaint the walls,
order is restored.
...
is an upside down world
different
from an upside up world?

esther 7

here in esther 7 we finally get back to the little banquet (actually the second one) that esther is throwing for the king and for haman, to try and ask this little favor that he not destroy all the jews.  she plays her cards right and things don't look too good for haman.  it looks even worse when the king comes into the room a bit later and it looks like haman is taking advantage of the queen.  how to punish haman?  ahh, yes...he had been building a gallows for mordecai...that will be perfect.  things have taken quite a turn, haven't they?  maybe even upside down.  oh, and by the way, still no mention of God.  where is God in all of this?

you can read the chapter here. 

esther 7

paper collage on vinyl lp; paper collage on album cover

gregory a. milinovich

esther (seven)

as the world slips through his fingers,

the king laughs.

always laughing, always drinking, always empty,

the king reigns.

the world is turning...

still, they are drinking,

haman, esther, and ahasuerus

all is well.

the world is upside up.

but then it all comes crashing down.

the paint peels off the wall,

revealing the writing that was there all along.

things are not what they seem.

there is more to masks than a charade.

there is something underneath.

the carnival has real characters,

and they are about to be revealed.

the curtain is drawn,

and esther is (gasp) a jew.

she is condemned, with her people, to death.

the king's own mouth has moved this thing into motion.

but he was only just talking,

he had better things to attend to.

"who is responsible for this?

who made me make such a law,

that condemns my queen to death?"

it was haman, the proud, the right hand man.

the masks hit the ground in a resounding crash.

change the unchangeable.

cover your face

cover your mouth.

take the words and make them right.

everything has been upside down.

(WHERE IS GOD IN ALL OF THIS?)

there is begging and pleading.

prostrate pleading.

but it is too late.

the world will wait

for another right hand man.

haman will hang on mordecai's stick.

the world will turn all around,

at such a time as this.

esther 6

in esther 6 the tables begin to turn a bit (and the upside down world starts to rotate).  in a fit of insomnia, the king has someone read to him the royal records, in hopes that it will help him doze off.  as he listens, he hears the story of mordecai discovering the plot to asassinate him.  when he finds out that mordecai has not been properly thanked for this, he asks haman what should be done to honor a loyal subject.  haman doesn't realize the king is talking about mordecai.  he thinks the king wants to honor him.  so he envisions a royal procession through the kingdom.  the king thinks its a brilliant idea, and commands haman to make it so for mordecai, the jew.  and poor haman has to make it happen.  you can read the real version here. 

"esther 6"

paper collage on vinyl lp; paper collage on album cover

gregory a. milinovich

esther (six)
pity, pity, pity,
the king cannot sleep.
shame, shame, shame,
his trouble is deep.
call on the court,
bring in the news,
read the annals,
so the king might snooze.
what he hears might surprise him,
a story of assassination.
the king was saved, then,
from termination.
the king was saved,
his saviour might surprise you,
for it was none other
than mordecai the jew.
just then a visitor arrived.
haman on the prowl.
but soon he had a smile
emerging from that scowl.
a large reward
the king wants to share,
haman thinks it's his,
so he responds with a flair,
"give this worthy man
a very gret prize,
let him be the royal focus
of all the kingdom's eyes."
"let it be so,'
said the king,
"let it be written,
sealed with my ring."
but it was not haman's due
to wear the royal gown,
it was for mordecai,
the world turns upside down.
the right hand man,
follows the horse,
and the condemned jew,
rides the royal course.
(HERE IS GOD IN ALL OF THIS)