esther 5

don't know if you're following along with my creative retelling of the esther story or not, but just in case you are jumping in late, this 10-day look at the book of esther is a kind of celebration of my 40,000 visitors here at agentorangerecords.  you should probably all be showering me with gifts, but since i'm in a good mood, i'm giving you a gift!  just click here and follow the simple instructions for a chance to win one on my handmade collages.  thanks again for stopping by!

esther five has two scenes.  first we find esther risking her life by appearing before the king unbidden.  however, he extends the golden scepter to her, which means he isn't displeased.  she then "touches the end" of his scepter, which results in him offering her whatever she wants, up to half of his kingdom.  hmmm.  perhaps this story isn't as PG as many like to imagine when thinking about the bible.  i'm just sayin.

anyway, esther is delaying asking the question a bit, and offers a banquet for him and haman.  they attend and they eat and drink.  but she still doesn't ask for her favor.  instead, she invites them both to another banquet the next day. 

the second scene occurs later that night as haman is leaving the palace and finds mordecai still refusing to bow to him.  haman gets overly worked up about this, and goes home ranting and raving to his family and friends about it.  they tell him to build a gallows and have mordecai hung on it the next day.  this pleases haman.  you can read chapter five here. 

what will happen next?  will esther ask the king to save the jews?  will he oblige?  will mordecai be hung?  tune in tomorrow!

esther five

paper collage on vinyl lp, paper collage on album cover

gregory a. milinovich

esther (five)
the greatest risk is not taking one.
i will go to the king.
i will make him want me.
i will make him want to have me.
flattery will get me everywhere.
sweet seduction and strong scepters.
come, king, come.  come to my banquet.
let me honor you.
let us drink together.
bring your royal robes and your right hand man.
wear your best so we can drink the best.
let us laugh and celebrate and know the world is upside up.
we'll have purple and gold and white and wine.
we'll know that all is well.
(WHERE IS GOD IN ALL OF THIS?)
keep your mask on.  the charade, the circus,
the show must go on.
...
still, the jew will not bow to honorable haman.
still haman grows green and gruesome.
the power goes to your head,
the jealousy goes for the jugular.
what to do, what to do, what to do?
if he will not lower himmself, dear haman,
then raise him up high, high, high.
put him on a stick, on a beam, on a gallows.
hang him high, for all to see what befalls the proud.
hang him, haman!

a note here about the book of esther.  God's absence (at least in name) in the book is one of the most fascinating aspects to me.  i focused on that both in the collages (i offer no standard images or symbols for God), and in the poetry, where i borrowed heavily from a character in Elie Wiesel's The Trial of God.  The character is called Mendel, and throughout the drama he asks the question, "where is God in all of this?"  i love that question because it is true for esther and it is true for our lives.  Mendel constantly calls me back into that reality.  other circumstances distract us, but God is ever present, even in a topsy-turvy world, and it is good and right for us to stop and consider that.  even when it seems like God is nowhere to be found, it pays to ask, "and where is God in all of this?"

esther 4

the fourth chapter of esther brings a couple of the most famous moments of the book.  basically, mordecai mourns this edict that the king has sent, and he gets to word to esther about it.  afraid for her life, she basically says, "what am i supposed to do about it?"  and mordecai tells her that perhaps she has risen to favor with the king, "for such a time as this."  she takes mordecai's words to heart, and agrees to petition the king, saying, "if i perish, i perish."  you can read it here. 

esther 4

paper collage on vinyl lp; paper collage on album cover

gregory a. milinovich

esther (four)
ashes and tears. 
gnashing of teeth.
we are all going to die.
mordecai mourns.
where is our hope?
where is our promise?
where is our future?
(WHERE IS GOD IN ALL OF THIS?)
mordecai mourns.
"only my niece can save us.
esther!  save us now,
at such a time as this."
remembering the queen before her,
remembering the price of saying no,
esther says no.  to her uncle.
no, i cannot go to the king.
no, i cannot stop this thing.
no. No. NO!
still mordecai mourns.
still he weeps jewish tears of fire and death.
why the death and destruction?
why the furnace and the fires?
he begs and pleads and asks and cries.
please.  Please.  PLEASE!
maybe you can do something, esther. 
maybe you can make a difference.
maybe the world has been waiting for you. 
maybe you have been put here for such a time as this.
maybe there is a reason that the king threw out the queen.
maybe there is a reason that the king fancied you.
maybe there is a reason for rain and rest.
maybe upside up is really upside down.
maybe random is not so random.
(HERE IS GOD IN ALL OF THIS)
sigh.
i will chisel off the paint in chunks of honesty.
i will dig deep through the pain in a flash of bravery.
i will go to his high, high, highness.
i will make a difference, maybe.
i will say yes to such a time as this.
the world cannot wait.

esther 3

the third chapter of esther brings us more fully into the conflict of the story. the king has exalted his servant haman to a high place in the king's court, and made everyone at the gate bow to him. but mordecai, the jew (esther's uncle), won't bow to him. haman then convinces the king to send out an edict to all the nobles of the kingdom that on a certain day in the 12th month, all the jews should be killed, and their possessions looted. so, this isn't looking good for esther and mordecai and all the jews in exile in this kingdom. tune in tomorrow to see what happens next. read esther 3 here.

"esther (three)

paper collage on vinyl lp; paper collage on album cover

gregory a. milinovich

esther (three)

where there is power there is pain.

everyone wants what he's got.

everything seems fine, but everything's not.

all seems to be in order, upside up.

but there is growing green.

every king has a haman, right hand man.

fountain of good ideas.

"whatever you say, haman.

i am going to visit my harem."

in the dark, haman whispers like a snake,

"i can be king. i am smarter, greater, wiser.

everyone bows to me already.

except that jew, mordecai.

cursed be his name.

his people have caused my people grief for generations.

he is a nobody. yet he defies me."

growing green, the world keeps turning upside down.

(WHERE IS GOD IN ALL OF THIS?)

haman slithers to the king's side.

with forked tongue he worms words into the king's round ears.

great, great, great are you, o king.

all people bow to you, except the jews.

all people honor you, except the jews.

all people respect you, except the jews.

all people should live, except the jews.

make a law that cannot be reversed.

turn the world upside up.

make it right.

have these people killed.

have them all killed.

...

the snake's song seduces the soft king.

i will have all the jews killed.

i am king, after all.

strong, strong, strong am i.

yes, haman, kill those jews when you wish,

i want to get to my harem, and my drinking.

everybody is laughing.

the world is upside up.

(what kind of story is this?)

(WHERE IS GOD IN ALL OF THIS?)

esther 2

esther chapter two tells us about the inner workings of a harem. that's right. a bunch of young women the king had on call for...um...royal relations. in this chapter we meet esther, a jew who is hiding her nationality, and who is obviously a very beautiful young woman. all who see her are taken with her beauty, including the king, who after his royal night with her decides to make her the queen. there is also another part of the story unfolding, involving her uncle and caregiver mordecai, who keeps a close watch on her and overhears some guards planning an assassination plot on the king. he tells esther, who tells the king, and the plot is uncovered. stay tuned for more exciting action tomorrow. read chapter two here.

"esther 2"

paper collage on vinyl album, paper collage with poem on album cover

gregory a. milinovich

esther (two)

his high, high, highness is lonely. needs a woman (women)

to help him fly.

flexing his majestic muscles, his mouth makes more laws.

"all the young (beautiful) women of my country

come to me. you are mine.

(what kind of story is this? everyone is laughing.

or everyone is dying some kind of death).

(WHERE IS GOD IN ALL OF THIS?)

there she is, the young jewess, the orphaned beauty,

queen of her uncle's heart. she is esther.

and she is headed to the king's castle, the lion's lair.

tears, tears, tears.

sigh.

she is lonely, without her uncle, in this strange place.

the world will not wait for her.

she is trying on clothes, styling, dressing, making up, pretending.

she is painted in color.

loneliness covered in lace and paint, without blemish.

she is sighing and crying,

but she is here now.

and it is her turn.

esther! come to me.

there is noise and sweat and fear.

there is hurt and pain and more questions than answers.

who is this king?

who am i?

has my world turned upside down?

i am only a young jewess, sleeping with the king.

i am only a young lamb, lying with the lions.

shall i take off this mask, or play this game?

shall i peel off the paint, wash it off with these tears?

sigh.

have i risen to this point only to feel so afraid

at such a time as this?

(WHERE IS GOD IN ALL OF THIS?)

the boys of summer

as summer draws to a close, i thought i'd make a quick video collage of our summer through the lens of our own boys of summer. enjoy.

esther 1

as i mentioned yesterday, the next 10 days will showcase a project i did on the book of esther from the hebrew scriptures. the book has 10 chapters, and i made 10 corresponding collages and poems, reflecting my own study and understanding of this great little story. each collage was made on a 33 1/3 lp, and each poem presented on the album cover. so each day you'll see a picture of the cover with the poem, and then a picture of the collage itself. i will also include the text of the poem, so that you will be able to read it.

esther 1 starts off the story by telling us about kind ahasuerus, a persian king, who wanted to flaunt his power by throwing a huge party. you can kind of get the genre of this story right off the bat, as it starts something like this, "once upon a time there was a great king who wanted to throw a great party. and so he gathered all the people of the land, and for sixth months they celebrated. then he gathered all his servants and officials in the palace courtyard, and they partied for seven days, drinking every kind of wine out of gold goblets." it sounds like a children's book. it turns out to be anything but a children's book, though, as it soon turns a bit r-rated. the king calls for his wife to come and dance for all the men. i'll let you imaginations run wild about what kind of dance this was expected to be. a bunch of drunk guys. a dancing woman. you probably get the picture. anyway, she refuses, and the king gets very angry. he calls his special advisors together and they decide that this is very dangerous because, what happens if women all around the kingdom start thinking for themselves? it would upset the natural order of the world! so he banishes the queen forever from his presence and sends out a letter to every corner of his kingdom that men should rule the household. if you want to read esther 1 for yourself, go here.

esther (one)

what better time for a party

than such a time as this?

the king is rich, the king is rich, the king is rich.

look how much he drinks!

may his high high highness live forever, and

blessed be his name (it is Ahasuerus).

it's a royal drama, an extravagant exterior,

purple pomp and gold circumstances,

everything's a laugh, purple pleasure and gold goblets of every grape.

table and cloth, music and majesty:

the world can wait.

what better time for a party?

(WHERE IS GOD IN ALL OF THIS?)

the queen, laughing her own laughs, drinking her own drinks,

is asked to promenade before the oglers, show off her goods,

advertise the king's vittles, the kitten's catnip.

she knows she is no object; she knows she is more than crown or cup.

she knows this won't end tomorrow...or ever. unless

she stops it now. "no. No. NO!

i will not come. i will not be only flesh."

she knows that this will be the end for her,

she knows the world as she knows it is ending.

but the world can wait. the laughing has to stop. some time.

perhaps such a time as this?

(WHERE IS GOD IN ALL OF THIS?)

angry, irate, furious, his high, high, highness

loses his cool, makes a new rule.

("i am the king, after all...)

the queen shall never return,

she's an embarrassment.

get her out of my sight, my life, my rights.

how dare she mock my power, how can she

try to turn the world upside down?

"let every person know that everyone should not

try to turn the world upside down.

i am the king (rich, rich, rich),

may my high, high, highness live forever,

and blessed be my name.

my mouth makes this law (which can never be changed):

do not try to turn the world upside down!

(especially at such a time as this)"

(WHERE IS GOD IN ALL OF THIS?)

40,000

well, friends, it's a bit of a milestone day here at agentorangerecords. today i reach 40,000 visits to the old blogstead. and so, to celebrate i want to give something away!
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i have had many visitors to this blog of mine, and i never even thought that would happen. but what is even more unlikely is that some of you who visited came back. i know, its hard to believe, but for some reason you keep reading. i don't know if it is because i make you laugh (at my own expense), or because it's like a train wreck that you just can't stop looking at, but whatever the reason, you keep coming back. forty thousand times. so thanks.
--
to celebrate, i'm giving away this collage:


it is called sunburst. i've shown it here before. up until today it has been for sale in my etsy shop. but now i'm giving it to one of you. all you have to do is comment on this post and answer this question:
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other than money, what would you like to have 40,000 of? (you can comment as often as you'd like, but it won't help your chances. you only get one shot.)
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also, starting tomorrow, i'll begin a 10-day series of collages and poems based on the book of esther. at the end of those 10 days i will give announce the winner of "sunburst." good luck. and keep visiting. here's to another 40,000.

congrats, coach lebeau

congrats to coach lebeau on this announcement. let us hope that we have LOTS to celebrate in the first week of february.

from steelcityinsider.com: Dick LeBeau has been named as one of 17 finalists for enshrinement in the Pro Football Hall of Fame. LeBeau, the former Detroit Lions cornerback with 62 career interceptions, and former Denver Broncos running back Floyd Little, were nominated by the Seniors Committee today. They'll join 15 other candidates the week of this season's Super Bowl.
LeBeau and Little emerged from a list of 90 Seniors candidates today. The list was whittled to 17 yesterday and to the final two this morning.
LeBeau will need approval from 80 percent of the 44 Hall of Fame voters the day before the Super Bowl Feb. 6 in South Florida to join the mandatory 4-7 man class that will be inducted at the next Hall of Fame game in the summer of 2010.
"In my humble opinion, Dick LeBeau is a Hall of Famer," said Steelers Coach Mike Tomlin. "He has legitimate numbers that speak to a Hall of Fame caliber career as a player. And he's quite frankly a defensive innovator and trailblazer as a coach. You couple all of that into one human being, not only the fact he's an awesome person, he's a Hall of Fame guy in my opinion.

waiting

raise your hand if you love waiting.

*scanning the room*

anyone?

that's what i thought.

---

let's be honest, no one really enjoys waiting. but as i've been researching my sermon for this coming sunday about living in expectation, i keep coming back to david who wrote over and over again in the psalms that he waited on God. "i wait for the Lord. my soul waits" (psalm 130:5). of course isaiah wrote poetically about the value of waiting on God, too. He wrote, "those who wait on the Lord will rise up like eagles." and so this begs the question: what is so good about waiting on the Lord? i'm curious about your thoughts here.

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i hate waiting. i'm really bad at it, actually. if i feel i am going to have to sit and wait for longer than 20 seconds, i will get out my crackberry and start surfing the internets. so what does it mean to wait on God? any ideas? any experiences? what do you hate waiting for? here are some of mine:

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i hate waiting for people to write out a check at the grocery store. seriously, people? checks?!? i didn't even realize that people still wrote checks at all, let alone when they are standing in a grocery store with 14 people behind them in line. and the other thing is, if you are a grocery-store-check-writer, i'm assuming you've been doing this for a number of years. haven't you perfected the art yet? why does it seemingly take you the better part of an hour to write out in your slow cursive, "eleven dollars and forty-three cents?"

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i hate waiting for red lights that serve no purpose. i mean, when there is traffic going both ways and all, i get it. i understand the useful function of traffic lights. but when i have to wait for 6 and a half minutes at an intersection while one chevy astro makes the trek across my windshield, right to left, headed for the promised land, i get very impatient. i've been known to take matters into my own hands from time to time.

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i hate waiting for websites to load. now, this one is particularly ridiculous because, seriously, my internet is plenty fast. i mean i'm only talking about a matter of mere seconds here, but even so, it bugs me. i have clearly become a person who wants things instantly. when i click on a website, i don't want it to load for 15 seconds. i want it to immediately show up.

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i hate waiting for doctors. and mechanics. i am pretty convinced that receptionists at places with waiting rooms take secret devilish delight in randomizing the waiting process just to infuriate those who are waiting. often when i am waiting for the mechanic to finish my oil change, the guy who came in after me who was getting his timing belt replaced, his brakes redone and his tires rotated, gets finished before me. what?!? thank goodness the waiting room has wireless access so i can spend my time waiting for websites to load.

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i could write a bunch more, but you would just continue to like me less and less with each paragraph, so i'm thinking i better stop now.

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but i'd really like to hear from you today. what do you hate waiting for? and what does it mean to wait on the Lord? what is the value in that? c'mon. hit me up in the comments section. i'm waiting...

last day of training camp 2009

as i wrote the other day, i just barely snuck in a trip to latrobe this year to join steeler nation in the pilgrimage to training camp. thursday was the last day of training camp for the team, and just as my wife and i pulled into the campus at saint vincent, it started to storm and rain heavily, so i was pretty much figuring i wouldn't get to see them practice this year, but then the skies cleared just in time, and the sun came out for a perfect afternoon (if by perfect i mean about as humid as standing in a large vat of campbell's chunky soup). because of the wet field, all the units practiced on the turf field, so i got to stand right up against the fence and watch practice about 25 feet from the field.

as they stretched at the beginning of practice, all the players started clapping and chanting, "hoke, hoke, hoke, hoke..." while backup nose tackle chris hoke did some kind of russian dance which he ended with an amazing jump which you can see below. the second one is a cropped closer look.

watching practice was an absolute blast for me. i loved watching coach tomlin walk around and watch the different parts of practice, chiming in here and there. he seemed to be comfortable and the whole camp had a very comfortable easy flow to it. the steelers know what they are doing.this is coach lebeau...i also enjoyed getting my first look at some of the rookies, including ziggy hood, who was an imposing physical specimen. i was excited about this #1 pick before, but i am even more so now.

still, there is no specimen quite like james harrison. his body is freakishly scary. i remember when i used to be amazed by joey porter, but harrison is so much scarier. his waist is a tiny middle supporting a redwood trunk of an upper body. he is enormous. and he practiced hard. he just doesn't quit, it seems, even on a brutally hot humid day on the last day of practice. gotta love the steeler way.

i also enjoyed watching some of the running backs, including willie parker (below), mendenhall, mewelde moore (who actually practiced),

and the undrafted rookie isaac redman, who i am undeniably excited about. i really have been excited about this kid, and seeing him practice just solidified it for me. he looks strong and quick. he looks determined. i know some are saying that there's no way he and frank the tank both make the team, but i don't know how they don't keep this guy on the roster.

it was great watching ben practice, too, who was throwing some really nice tight bullets to the wide recievers...

until deebo pushed max starks into the backfield and he tramped on ben's leg, resulting in this scene...

which means we'll see alot more of these two guys in the game tonight.

well, there you go. i hope you like the pics i took. i actually took a bunch more, and if you'd like to take a look, you can click here. have a great weekend, and GO STEELERS!

happy birthday, shannon, 2009

today is my wife's birthday. i've already written about how brilliant she is, and i often fill this digital space with stories of her amazingness. perhaps the most amazing thing of all, however, is that she continues to put up with me and all my dramatics. she is a good-hearted woman, that's for sure. i am way out of my league!

happy birthday, shannon! i celebrate your joy, your creativity, your vitality, and your abundant life. i love you!

watching guys practice

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well, i find myself in monongahela, pennsylvania this morning, here at my parents for a short visit to help them just a bit with their moving process. today just also happens to be the last day for steelers training camp over at saint vincent college in latrobe, not too far from here. so we'll be heading over there this afternoon to catch the last practice of this year's camp. and i am beyond excited about it.

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for those of you who follow steeler football closely, you probably understand this. but i recently had someone ask me, "what is so fun about it? you just go watch a bunch of guys practice?" which set me to thinking about what it is that i love so much about it. why is it that every august i feel this almost spiritual yearning to make a pilgrimage to western pennsylvania to sit "and watch guys practice?" well, here's why...

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1. first taste of football. most football seasons don't end in a championship for your team (unless you are a steelers fan, and then you've experienced it more than anyone else). either your team fails to make the playoffs, or they lose in the playoffs. either way, it leaves you wanting your team to have another shot. after the pro bowl in february, you enter the wasteland of sports when there is literally nothing to watch. thank God for the nfl network and for the invention of the vcr, which allows me to watch recorded steeler games over and over. still, it isn't the same as live football, and by august i am like a desperate junkie. i need a hit. training camp is that hit. it is the light at the end of the tunnel.

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2. practice. in some ways, it really is just watching guys practice. and what's so wrong with that? when else do you get to watch an nfl team practice. the rest of the year teams are incredibly guarded with their practices, so this is it, really. for someone like me who used to dream every night about playing in the nfl someday (who am i kidding? i still dream about it.), it feels like i am permitted a nice long glance into an otherwise off limits paradise. if i can't live that dream, at least i can spend a few hours looking at it closely. offense in white jerseys. defense in yellow jerseys. stretches and drills. 7 on 7's. 11 on 11's. coaches giving instruction and sometimes of the colorfully emphatic type. just for a couple of hours, i can pretend i'm a wide reciever. or a beat writer for the team.

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3. rookies. another great part of training camp is that the team is huge. there are like 80 guys in practice jerseys right now, but only 53 of them will be on the final roster. but which 53? that is the question. hot afternoons at training camp are a big part of the way those 53 are settled on. and going and watching camp gives you a chance to do your own roster analysis. today, for example, i want to see just how fast mike wallace can run. i want to see frank "the tank" do some lead blocking and isaac redman punch it in. i want to see joe burnett and keenan lewis on defense. and its not just the rookies. there are several second year players that we are hoping will make an impact this year, and i want to see them, too. for at least a couple hours i can feel like i am a talent evaluator.

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4. proximity to the players. this doesn't mean as much to me as it once did, but training camp does give you an opportunity to get close to these men of steel. as they walk from the locker room to the practice field and back many of them stop and sign autographs. even during practice, you aren't that far from the team, and you can not only watch them practice, but watch them having fun with one another, as well. i remember a couple of years ago watching nose tackle chris hoke doing some kind of russian dance while the team gathered around him clapping out a beat for him. at the training camp of 2006 i got hines ward's autograph. while i'm not really a big autograph guy, it was cool to get his, since he is my favorite football player of all time. one of the coolest things about being able to be close to the players is that you can get a different sense of their size. on the tv, they all look relatively big, but you don't really understand just how big until you see them with your bare eyes. i remember the first time i saw joey porter's arms. wow. just wow.

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5. steeler nation. this may be the most important of all for me. don't forget that i am a strong, faithful member of steeler nation who lives in exile a bit. i live in jersey, which means i'm not constantly surrounded by steeler fans. i have to deal with giants and eagles fans, and sometimes i just wish i was surrounded by people who love the team that i do. also don't forget that i am a pastor, which means that sundays are an important day for me in my ministry. i almost never even have an opportunity - or the time to travel to pittsburgh - for a game (let alone the money). so i don't get many chances to gather together with large groups of steeler nation. but training camp gives me that opportunity. at one practice a couple of weeks ago there were over 10,000 fans there! watching practice! that is steeler nation, baby! that's how we roll, and i love going to latrobe, in a sea of black and gold, and hearing what others are saying about the team, maybe engaging in a little "here we go steelers, here we go," and just letting loose a little. this is our team, and we are granted, even if for just a couple hours, this more intimate look at them. we already know we are part of the family. this just feels like the annual reunion.

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so that's why i love training camp. hopefully we don't get rained out this afternoon, and i'll have lots of pics to share with you soon. stay tuned.

shaving cream

it's amazing what you can make if you decide you want to start making. as i've written on this blog before, one of the first qualifications (not the only) for art is that someone actually put some time and energy into creating something that the rest of us only look at and decide if we like or not. there is something to be said for just trying to create.

that being said, here are some of the pictures my kids made last week using shaving cream and food coloring. not exactly sure of the process, but i'm sure you could look it up or call my wife. i was just pretty impressed with the outcome, so i thought i'd share it with you.

welcome back, mr favre

i just want to go ahead and send my condolences and good wishes over to the family of brett favre. no, he didn't die or anything. he's okay as far as i know. but october 25th is coming quickly....

book review: enough

i am fascinated by just about any conversation or book dealing with the subject "enough." i took a course in grad school that was simply called "enough." i wrestle in my everyday life with the concept of "enough," when i see enormous food competitions on tv, or vehicles as large as helicopters filling up with $80 of gas at the local hess station, and even when i consider my own tendency to 'collect' things. how much is enough? this questions fascinates and intrigues me.

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so needless to say i was very interested when i found out that adam hamilton had written a book called "enough." adam is the pastor of the united methodist church of the resurrection in leawood, kansas, and i have always been impressed with his take on things. when he spoke at our annual conference in may, he really knocked my socks off, so i bought the book this summer and just finished it.

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his starting point is very timely, and that is that the current economic situation has everyone feeling a bit edgy at least, and more likely quite stressed out or even depressed. but he isn't just offering a critique of the american/consumerist financial system, he is saying that behind the direct causes (sub-prime mortgages, fraud, what he calls "affluenza and credit-itis," etc.) are underlying, spiritual problems.

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and so the book serves as a primer for how we ought to view money and possessions as followers of Jesus in our current context. it isn't a long book - only about 100 small pages - but it is remarkably full of good stuff for its size. the book doesn't only offer a spiritual critique, but is very intentional about offering some real practical advice, too, for getting out of debt, for mananging money, for choosing simplicity, and for cultivating gratitude. its real strength, though, in my opinion, is how it connects the practical with the spiritual, offering a strong biblical basis for why our attitude towards money and possessions ought to be strikingly different than our culture's. he is urging his readers towards some intentional choices of simplicity, contentment, gratitude and generosity. as such, the book is really a welcome voice when so much of what the Christian marketplace has offered has been 'prosperity gospel' stuff that tells you that 'if you just really pray this prayer, God will bless you with more land and more stuff and abundance." hamilton helps us ask ourselves, "how much is enough?" and "why can't i learn to be abundantly grateful with what i have, sharing my abundance with others? " it isn't necessarily ground-breaking, but in about 100 pages he has offered a very approachable look at how Christians ought to be dealing with their money and their attitudes toward their possessions in our current context. i recommend it. (i'll let you borrow mine, if you don't want to buy it!)

jazz for breakfast: junior college

as you may know, i love bruceck, and i collect any brubeck albums i can find. here is a great one from a couple live performances given at fullerton and long beach junior colleges in 1957. it is making our reese's puffs breakfast cereal go down even sweeter. yum.

four qualities of worship

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i preached yesterday about a topic that i'm very interested in and passionate about: worship. i could seriously preach for weeks and weeks about this topic, but i only had one week for this, so i focused on 4 characteristics of good worship.

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first, our worship should be authentic, not obligatory. that is, our worship shouldn't be centered in our sense of duty or ritual alone, but out of a sense of a real desire to attribute worth to God. that is what worship literally is: worth-ship. it is glorifying God; saying to God, "you are God, and i am not." our worship, whether corporate or personal, ought to come from our very spirits (Jesus said in john 4:23-24 that real worshippers worship in spirit and in truth). sometimes we go through seasons of our lives where we function solely out of discipline, but even then our worship shouldn't come from a place of obligation. we should want to worship. and if we don't want to, we should ask God to help us want to. and we should do whatever we can to get out of our rut/routine, trying new ideas and patterns and places and styles. we should be intentional about trying to worship God instead of half-heartedly dedicated to following some routine.

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second, our worship should be active, not passive. living in an entertainment culture, we are quite simply used to 'watching.' we watch tv. we watch movies. we watch you tube videos. and when we come to church, we bring this mentality with us. we expect to watch. we expect to recieve some kind of blessing or encouragement or spiritual fuel to get us through the week. and while those are all great by-products of good worship, they aren't the main purpose, nor are they even indicators of good worship. worship is about what we put into it, not what we get out of it. the same goes for our private worship. we sit and we pray and we read the bible and so forth and we get so hung up on what we are or are not getting out of the experience. and if we aren't experiencing what wee want, we so quickly abandon our efforts. but we have it all backwards. our worship is about what we can put into it, not what we get out of it. the psalms urge us again and again to praise the Lord. this is not a spectator sport. this is our responsibility: to worship God as active particpants, not passive observers.

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third, our worship should be attentive, not divided. to illustrate this, i share with you a common occurance from our house. as we are putting our kids to bed, we always say a prayer, and not just for us but for others we know who are sick or who have needs. and often as we are saying this prayer, our children are not giving it the attention we would like. for example, as we were recently praying for a kid with cancer, jack vocalized his main concern at the moment: "daddy, why did t. rex have such short arms?" nice. way to pay attention, jack. but wait a minute: doesn't this describe you and i, too? aren't we soo easily distracted? don't we have a problem turning off the tv/radio/cellphone/computer/ipod/whatever noise you are addicted to? how insulting must it be to God when we can't even focus our attention for a few minutes!

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finally, our worship should be awesome, not casual. here i am not referring to our dress or to a particular style of music, but to our hearts. i believe we are way too casual when approaching the throne room of the King of all creation. think about moses at the burning bush. God said, "take off your shoes man, this isn't your normal encounter." when we engage God, we are dealing with sacred space, and we ought to treat it as such. when we approach God with a ho-hum attitude, the same way we appoach the cashier at wal-mart, we do a disservice not only to God, but to our own experience of worship. we would do well to remember our rightful place in the worship relationship.

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i hope something here speaks to you as you move forward in your journey of worshipping God. if you've gotten stuck in a rut, get out of it! start worshipping the living God in spirit and in truth!

saturday song: seasons of love

shannon and i went to see a production of 'rent' last night. having picked up on some cultural detritis about the show, i had some expectations which turned out to be totally wrong. the story was full of brokenness and pain, to be sure, but it was also incredibly redemptive. i was quite moved by it. one of the best pieces from the show was the song "seasons of love" which i have included here from the movie version of 'rent.' enjoy it, and may your life be measured out in love.

have a great saturday.

yearbook

a recent picture of me for a pictoral directory of pastors in our conference. doesn't this look like a picture from a yearbook? except i look like i'm 35. like i failed 10th grade 19 times or something, and i'm finally graduating. yay me! i finally made it - most likely to wear a suit with my fauxhawk and receding hairline!

sigh. self-deprecating humor is so satisfying.

and what is that background? is it supposed to look like the picture was taken on the moon, with the pacific ocean in the background?

in other news, the steelers play their first preseason game tonight, televised on espn at 8, if you're interested. it will be boring for many, but i'll be lovin' it!

now reading: "enough" by adam hamilton

now playing: "welcome to the welcome wagon" by the welcome wagon.

have a great thursday!

"that's what our life is about: miracles!"

some of you who read this blog are fans of the pittsburgh steelers, so you basically "get" why i am so fanatical about this football team.

but others of you? not so much. some of you don't even understand how i can even care about a football team so much at all, let alone a small market team from the rust belt. but i do. and while i've tried to write about the reasons before, reading this article might be a great way to at least begin to understand. get your tissues ready. its the story of one bob zinski and what happened to him after being diagnosed with cancer.

the way i see it, as a united methodist pastor, it seems that the steeler organization ministered to bz, demonstrating the importance of community and compassion. it is just one of the things i love about the pittsburgh steelers, and just one of many reasons that i am a proud member of steeler nation.

camping at knoebel's, 2009

this last weekend we went camping, which you may remember i was recently preparing for. each year we head out to elysburg, pa to camp for a few nights and spend some time over at knoebel's amusement park, which is a great family friendly park. sounds great, right?

and it is great. except for the fact that there are 7 kids under the age of 7 that we are camping with. and that camping involves sleeping in a vinyl room. and that jack didn't really want to ride anything. oh, and the rain.

the last night we were there it rained like noah, and while our tent stayed relatively dry, the ground surrounding our tent could only be seen through a couple inches of water. caedmon is demonstrating this in the picture below.

fortunately this was on our last morning, so it didn't really affect knoebel's time, but it DID meaan that we had to tear down everything in the rain and puddles, and then come home and set it back up again so that it could dry out and then tear it all back down again so that it didn't get wet again. tired, yet? i was. camping is awesome!

but i'm being a bit dramatic (i know, the shock of it). the truth is that it really is fun to be with so much of shannon's family and especially for our kids to get so much play time with their cousins. plus, as i wrote last year, i love the food at knoebels, so that's all good.

this is all the cousins lined up on the picnic table. tough to get a decent picture of them all

cade at the waterpark part of knoebels.

jack and his cousin on one of the rides jack would actually ride.

"would you like a spot of tea?"

me and my boy.

shannon and cade.

jackson being eaten by a frog.

total cuteness.

when he's bad, he's bad. but when he's cute, holy cow, watch out.

you can't really see it when the picture is shrunk this much, but jack looks like he is convinced that this ride descends straight into the pits of eternal hell. he thought he wanted to ride this until we got on. then he started sobbing and begging me not to. i did not relent, and we rode it. this picture is long-lasting evidence that only one of us enjoyed it. oh well...

we had a creek behind our campsite, which meant hours of entertainment for the kids.

these are only a few of the pictures. if i work up enough courage, i might post the video of the world's greatest mullet, but i'm scared he might see it and use his super-mullet powers on me. we'll see.

in any case, its good to be back in a house with walls. and a roof.