john 10:10, the rough draft

biblical archaeologists have recently uncovered what appears to be some papyrus used as a rough draft written by Jesus himself as he worked on perfecting his personal mission statement.  of course scholars are debating the authenticity of this document, but it is interesting to see the progression of thought by the Lord, and how he finally reached a mission statement that he liked.  of course it is originally in aramaic, but here is my best rough translation into english:

(note:  here, as in the original manuscript, each statment is crossed off, except the last one.)

i have come that you might be eternally comfortable.  

i have come that you might forever have to eat cubes of bread washed down with shots of welch's grape juice. 

i have come that you might forever try and commandeer my name for your cause.  

i have come that you might know the right magic words to say in order to earn forgiveness.

i have come that you might feel guilty enough to sit through boring church services weekly for the rest of your life.

i have come that you might have a peaceful easy feeling. 

i have come to keep the peace.

i have come to pick a bunch of losers to start my movement. 

i have come to make it clear who is in and out, so that you'll know who to hate. 

i have come that you might the american dream. 

i have come that you might be able to ignore the angry God of the old testament.

i have come so that you'll know what to believe.

i have come that you might have life.  plentiful, abundant, overflowing life.