happy memorial day, 2010

formerly known as "decoration day," memorial day is a day to remember that the life we live didn't just happen.  it was bought at a price by many who had to make incredible sacrifices.  as citizens we may not agree with every war and every sacrifice that was made, but we have to recognize that some have valued our freedoms so deeply that they have been willing to offer themselves in its defense.  and that is worth celebrating.  and for those whose service has cost them their very lives, we must stand and salute.  we must put down our memorial day snacks and offer a "thank you" into the great cloud of those who have given up everything.  we must take at least this day to remember not only that what we have is something many have thought is worth protecting, but also that many of those who protected it have lost their lives in that service.  today, we remember them.  with gratitude and respect.  we remember. 

saturday song: this ain't goodbye

for today's saturday song, i'm giving you a song by the band train.  this song is called "this ain't goodbye" and is one of the songs that acoustic orange will be playing at their farewell concert next saturday night.  acoustic orange is the little duet that i'm in with justin mehaffy.  we'll be playing at a coffeehouse in flemington, nj, and there'll be more info about that in the coming days.  in the meantime, enjoy this great song.

if acorns were coconuts...

in today's randomland, you might be interested to learn that country music legend willie nelson has cut off his famous long hair.
---
also, in honor of the late art linkeletter, i will share with you that caedmon found an acorn today and told me that he had found a coconut.  oh how i wish that every acorn was a coconut.  that would be amazing. 
---
in other news, there is apparently a great deal of oil (which looks like black smoke in the water) coming from a hole in the ground.  has anyone in BP thought about locating all the jack shephards in the world and seeing if one of them is somehow capable to put a big rock cork in the hole?  seems to me that it just might work. 
---
and, for kicks and grins, and in case you need to give yourself a pep talk, watch this video, get to your closest mirror, and repeat:

adventure aquarium

as i mentioned the other day, we got to go to the adventure aquarium in camden, nj on sunday, and here you see some of the many pictures from the day.  you'll see that we got to see lots of sharks and fish, touch all kinds of sea creatures (including rays and sharks), feed african birds, and find nemo.  we had a great day!

loving God with our emotions

as i prepare my sermon for this coming sunday, i am wondering what you might think about the role of the emotions in loving God, and in particular in our worship.  i have grown mostly being taught that you can't trust your emotions, that happiness is a red herring and we really ought to be looking for joy (which is no emotion at all, it seems).  as i have gotten older i have learned to be more at peace with my emotions at least in terms in recognizing them as a good an important part of who i am.  still, i'm wondering what your thoughts are on this issue: do our emotions have a place in worship?  if we come to church feeling angry or sad or confused or happy or ____________, does it hurt or enhance our worship experience?  is there a right or good way to somehow use that emotion in worship? or are we better served, in your opinion, if we sort of check our emotions at the door and worship the unchanging God who is great beyond the whim of our emotions? i have my own ideas here, but i'm interested in your thoughts about the role of emotions in our worship life.  hit me up with some thoughts, people! 

lost in sleepiness

when you don't go to bed until after 1 am, then it's hard to blog before noon. 

and the reason i was up so late?  lost.

no, i didn't get lost, but i was watching the series finale.  a show shannon started watching right from the beginning and pulled me into during the second season, has come to an end.  and just like life, it seemed to end with more questions than answers.  for those of you who never really got into the show or who tried it and just didn't like it, i can say that the appeal for me was the questions and the characters.  the characters were flawed people, nearly always navigating the land between "good" and "bad," just like i am.  the questions were the thing that really got me, though.  i found that it was one of the few pieces of television art that didn't give easy answers.  it left it wide open.  which is how i've found life to be.  and so, for that reason, i enjoyed the finale, and the whole series.  i will miss it.

yesterday we also went to the adventure aquarium in camden, nj.  we had been wanting to take the boys there for awhile, and wanted to get it in before we packed up and moved west.  so we did, and it was awesome.  i'll have some pics later this week, but it is just so cool to watch the sharks and other amazing creatures swimming in the huge tanks.  it really is mesmerizing. 

this weekend we also had a wonderful celebration of our ministry and time here in clinton, thrown by the church with over 200 people in attendance.  what an overwhelming show of love and support that truly was breathtaking for me.  i am still nearly speechless at what a gift these last four years have been to me and my family.  we are overjoyed. 

and that's about all i've got today.  i need to close my eyes for a minute and try to catch up on a bit of what i lost last night: sleep.  see you tomorrow.

saturday song: pray for me

okay, i know it's really old school, but the song just seems appropriate for this season.  nothing like the smooth nasally sounds of michael w. smith, serving as the soundtrack to a transition.  seriously: pray for me.  i'll be praying for you.  love ya.

transition.

transition is the word of this season for us.  everything we do is covered in transition.  we are in the transition from one home to another.  from one town to another.  from one church to another.  from one job to another. 

it truly is a bit disorienting when everything around you is changing: your driver's license, your address, your home phone number, your grocery store, your weekly schedule, even your blind walk to the bathroom in the middle of the night. 

but it's not just the sense of losing so much that is familiar, it is the also the sense of losing so much family.  part of this transition - part that i just couldn't have really prepared for - is the emotional side of it.  last night i went out with a couple of friends to sort of say goodbye.  tonight we have a dinner in celebration of our four years here at the church.  tomorrow night it is dinner with some friends.  i just went to my last ad council meeting and my last service at the nursing home.  during these days i am planning my last sermon, which is somehow supposed to be 12-15 minutes of everything i would ever want to say in a sermon.  all of this adds up to a freight train of emotion heading right for me as i lie there, tied to the tracks. 

so, forgive me if i get a bit weepy.  this transition stuff is tough!  i am thrilled about the new opportunities and the excitement of the future, and at the same time i am about to be crushed by a giant black engine of goodbyes.  and so i'm in transition.  i'm both here and there.  i'm both happy and sad.  i'm both anticipating and dreading.  i'm both crying and celebrating.  i'm just both.  like an emotional harvey dent, with two faces for nearly every moment.  so thanks for putting up with me during these days, through this time of transition.  i will get from here to there, but in the meantime, i will laugh and cry with you.  and that will be my rescue.  there is no untying me from the tracks.  there is no last minute escape.  there is just you and me, laughing and remembering, crying, enjoying where we've been and expecting big things from where we are going.  that will be our rescue: the getting through it. 

yes, i drive a minivan

unfortunately, this satire is about me.  and i find it hilarious.  i think you will, too.  have a laugh at my expense.

do you need a hug?

in worship this month we've been looking at the great commandment (that the greatest thing in all the law is that we love God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength) and applying it to our worship.  what can it mean to love God in such a holistic way as worshipping people?  this last sunday i preached specifically about the "strength" part.  how do we worship God with all our strength?  it is an interesting question, i think, especially for those of us who seem so afraid to use our bodies in worship and seem more content to practice what you might call "neck-up" worship.  something to think about, for sure. 

but as i was thinking about this, i began thinking about the power of human contact.  i began to reflect on the redeeming value of a hug, or the hospitality of an extended hand.  i read about the healing power of human touch for those who are sick.  i reflected on how, when Jesus healed people in the Gospels, he often touched them.  i thought about how when i'm feeling sheepish or guilty, my pride gets in the way and resists human contact or affection.  and then i thought about the prodigal son.  my mind often goes back to that story that the Master told.  the story of the boy who asked for his inheritance, then took the money and ran.  the story tells of how he squandered all that money and when he had finally hit rock bottom, decided as a last ditch effort to try and go back to his father to see if he would receive him as a slave.  and this is where the story gets all kinds of crazy.  the bible tells us that "while he was still a way off" his father saw him approaching (do you think the father had kept one eye always looking down the road, just in case?).  and the story goes on that the father ran to him.  he didn't wait for an apology.  he didn't measure his response.  he didn't consider dignity and justice to be first priorities.  he ran.  unapologetically.  and when he gets to his wayward son, all out of breath and sweaty, you know what the bible tells us he does?  he reprimands him?  nope.  he settles his score with him?  nope.  he does something unimaginably awesome: he hugs him.  he wraps him up in touch, in warmth, in undignified, unbridled fatherly love. 

parents do that, you know.  especially a heavenly parent.  when the child is struggling, weak or burdened, the parent wants to help.  when the child is broken, barely able to keep going, the parent runs to the child, wraps him up in an embrace, and moves into the future alongside him.  too good to be true?  you might think so.  but watch this:



see what i mean?  if we can identify with that kind of love, then how much more do you think God is constantly running to us, coming alongside us, and holding us in a tender but life-giving embrace?  as radical and unbelievable as it is, it is exactly what Christianity proposes. 

so will you dare to believe it?  even if only with a tiny bit of belief, like a tiny little seed-sized bit?  it's okay.  alot can come from a seed. 

and if you believe it, how will you respond to it?  will you worship this Godparent who runs to you, who sheds all dignity and crashes through security to get to you, ignores your sheepish pride and holds you in a wild embrace?  and how?  how will you worship this God?  with your thoughts and your motionless body?  or will you find someway to wrap your arms around your Daddy, put your head on his shoulder and face the future together? 

"we love because he first loved us"  1 john 4:19

"love the lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind and with all your strength." mark 12:30

50,000

on this, my 945th post to this blog, i am looking backwards a bit.  you see, about 4 or 5 months after i started writing this blog, i started keeping track of how many people were stopping by.  at first it was just a curiousity, and then it became an exciting gauge of the incredible opportunites the world wide web affords us.  i have been amazed as you all have stopped by again and again, reading these words, sometimes responding to them, sometimes not.  more than a few times you've disagreed with me and told me about it.  probably more often than i'd like to think you've disagreed with me and not said a word of it to me.  you've enjoyed pictures of my kids, put up with my passion for steelers/yankees, and, hopefully, been blessed by the questions i've felt compelled to ask along the way. 

i'm thinking about all of this because today i will likely reach 50,000 offficial visits to my blog.  that seems like a milestone to me!  and so i am a bit reflective today about this whole blog thing: why i started it, why i continue it, and where it is going, if anywhere.  in all of that reflecting, i looked back at the first post i wrote in this digital space, back in october of 2006.  i wrote this:
__________________________________________________________________
so i guess its a bit more conventional to start with a preface. but i choose a proface. a preface is a face before. a proface is a first face. and i, of course, want to put my best face forward.
so, what is my first face?
today, of all days, i begin this little cyber-journey to maybe put some pixels together, some letters together, into a kind of first face. i want to fill this space with discoveries and disappointments. i want to be honest about my most hidden hopes, and leave space for the holy hushes of mystery and magic. i want to wander through my thoughts and ideas and dreams (both day and night) and expectations.
and so i don't begin this blog with a theme so much as with some questions: what can it mean for me to share these words with you? what is up around that bend? can we find community in the midst of a culture of consumerism? can a thing be Christian? what makes art good? or bad? or sacred? or profane? who is the greatest steelers linebacker ever? where do we go when we die? what is it about putting images together in unusual ways that uncovers a corner of the shroud of mystery for me and allows me to see just a glimpse of some great and scary and completely unbelievable God?


i'm not sure these are the kinds of questions that get answered. but i'm not here for answers. i hope you aren't either. i'm here to ask questions. and enjoy the journey. so i am looking forward to it, for forward is the only way i can look, with this, my first face.


greg.
________________________________________________________________

i hope it's been that kind of journey for you.  i know it has been for me over these 50,000 visits.  thanks for being a part of it! 

risky business

i have no words for this. 

our trip to the big apple

last week shannon and i took the boys into new york city for a little two-day mini vacation.  we took the ferry into the city on wednesday and then grabbed the subway to the bronx to see the yankees play the orioles at the new yankee stadium.  here's a picture of the boys from our seats in the outfield:

after the game we went back to midtown and spent some time wandering around times square before grabbing some hot dogs at gray's papaya and heading to our hotel.  cade was impressed with the height of everything:

we woke up on thursday morning and took the subway up the west side of central park to the natural history museum:

we enjoyed looking at the dinosaurs and all the animals and so much more, including a special butterfly exhibit at the museum.  after a full morning, we took a lunch break in central park:

we spent the rest of the afternoon in the museum, before heading back to times square for a little more looking around, including a trip to the m & m store, before heading back across the river and to our home.  we had a great time in the city, even if it did start with a vomiting child, and included jackson dropping his gum on the floor of the subway station then picking it up and putting it back in his mouth, as well as caedmon eating the "emergency information" paper that shannon had put in his pocket in case he got lost.  we are really glad we took this trip, and will miss our proximity to the city and all it has to offer. 

a mother's day silent film

in keeping with something we started last mother's day, we thought we'd make shannon another little video this year for mothers day, so she will be always be able to watch this and remember the boys at this particular age.  we had fun making it, and it certainly wasn't hard to think of things we love about her, as she is a wonderful and generous mother.  hope all you moms out there are enjoying this particular day, and realizing again just what a gift you are to your children, and to the world.  a special happy mother's day to the mom's in my life. 

saturday song: new york, new york

this week shannon and the boys and i spent two days in new york city.  i'll write more about that later and share some pics from the experience, but for today's saturday song i thought i'd share one of my favorite songs about new york city.  this is ryan adams singing about his relationship with the city.  for me, i have always had a deep infatuation with new york city, so this song serves as a bit of a soundtrack for that.  there's no video, just the one picture and a very good song.  have a great saturday!

happy birthday, sigmund freud!

happy birthday, sigmund freud.  and seriously, i mean happy birthday.  i think you need to lighten up just a bit, for real.  i mean, why so grumpy?  after all, you're the father of psychoanalysis.  it's all because of you that millions of nominally interested psychology students have slept through countless lectures about repressed sexuality and transference.  plus, you are wearing a sweet looking tweed suit and smoking a cigar, all the while smugly knowing that your middle name is Schlomo.   SCHLOMO?  how cool is that?  so, here's to you, siggy.  hope your big day creeps by in schlow-mo and you figure out a way to forgive your parents for whatever repressed emotions you have so you can actually crack a smile. 

sold! (thanks for the support)

i sold these collages this weekend.  thanks for everyone's help.  if anyone else is still interested, please take a look here and get what you want before they're all gone! 

hello daddy. i love you.

during the month of may in our church we're exploring the ideas of what it means to really worship God completely.  we're trying to push past the boundaries of "what we've always done," and "what we're used to," into something that, while perhaps a bit uncomfortable, will be an authentic act of submission to God.  we are using the great commandment as our basis: that we are called to love God with all our heart, all our soul, all our mind and all our strength, and that one of the venues for that is our corporate worship.  in other words, when we get together for church, we ought to be finding ways to love God with our whole selves.  we're calling this "the whole enchilada."  we feel like maybe we've been content for far too long with a steady worship diet of stale crackers and water, while there is a whole banquet of God-tastes available to us, if we would give ourselves to more authentic worship. 

as i have reflected on this, i have realized that one of the issues for the church today, i believe, is that we have failed to give God priority.  i mean, we certainly give God lip-service, or at least some of us do.  but when it comes right down to it, God is no longer the center of our church experience (and its not because God has moved!).  instead of God, the focus of our worship is often ourselves.  as a pastor i contstantly hear comments that expose this self-centeredness:
"i'm just not getting anything out of worship anymore"
"i can't get into that kind of music, i wish we would do more..."
"i'm not getting fed"
"i loved the service, it really made me feel..."

now, while there is nothing wrong with these statements fundamentally, they do reveal a kind of self-centeredness in our worship experience.  it gives the impression that worship is all about what we get out of it, or how it makes us feel, or what gives us the kind of experience we are looking for. 

we've got it all wrong.

for the last couple of weeks, my son caedmon, who just turned three, is going through a stage in which every time he sees me (even if he just saw me two minutes before), he says in a very sincere and matter-of-fact tone, "hello daddy.  i love you." 

now that is worship.  seriously.  that is worship.  cade doesn't say to me, "daddy, if you would  just make me feel content, i would love you," or, "i love you when you give me a feeling of joy or peace."  cade doesn't seem to hinge his declaration of love on anything at all.  he just seems to delight in telling me that he loves me.  now, i'm not suggesting that worship is only us repeatedly uttering words of love to God, but i am saying that our worship should be centered completely on God, and not on what we can get out of it.  the church today seems to miss this point.  we worry more about how we feel.  or about why there aren't more people in the pews.  or why there isn't more money in the plate.  or why the sermon doesn't speak to us.  or why the music is not our favorite.  or why mrs. mcstuckerson insists on wearing gallons of flowery perfume.  when what we should be worrying about is how to raise our hands to heaven and find a way to really say and believe this: "hello Daddy.  i love you."  what we need to be focused on is finding a way, through the music and the liturgy, to say, "you are God.  i am not.  you are my priority.  and where you are not my priority...where other things have crept in to take your place, help me get back on track so that you can be my priority again." 

now that's worship.  worship, quite literally, is giving God worth-ship.  it is saying, "God, you are worthy."  it isn't a refueling hour or an inspiration station.  it isn't a fellowship time or an obligation.  it is time that you set apart with others to say "hello Daddy.  we love you."  and not just with your words.  but with your whole heart.  and your whole soul.  and your whole mind.  and with your whole self. 

the whole enchilada.

random rainy monday

welcome to a rainy random monday. 
***
hope you had a good weekend.  ours was hot.  i mean july kind of hot.  i mean skin sticking together hot.  we thought we'd have a yard sale on saturday to unload some of our junk on unsuspecting civilians, but i guess advertising it on craig's list wasn't enough, so we got few visitors.  we still managed to sell some stuff, but it looks like we're going to have to do it again.  i'll keep you posted. 
***
i have been listening quite a bit to manchester orchestra's "mean everything to me."  it has this awesome kind of manic desperation to it, mixed with a healthy dose of angst and aggression.  it's got slightly insane edge to it that i find very appealing.  it certainly isn't for all my listeners, but it might be something some of you like.  at one point he sings: "whatever whatever, i can't speak.  i sing."
***
we're going to new york city later this week for an overnight stay, catching a yankees game and a trip to the natural history museum.  hoping that there won't be any more potential car bombings.  yikes.
***
this friday night is my final installment of reel life: discussions on film and faith.  to end with a laugh, we'll be viewing "evan almighty."  if you're in the area, join us at CUMC at 6pm for pizza and a movie.  should be fun. 
***
our obsession with batman and robin continues in this house.  we continue to pray for batman and robin each night.  cade will randomly announce that he is thinking about batman and robin.  he wears a cape with every outfit. 
***
that's all i got today.  feeling a bit uninspired and blocked this morning.  hopefully the day brings inspiration and unfolds new possibilities, and that i'm aware enough to see them.  hope the same for you.  peace.
***