in deuteronomy 4, moses is telling the people about life in the promised land, even though he knows he won't be entering with them, and he's describing what life will be like. he warns them to be careful not to become like the surrounding people, not to become corrupt, and not to worship idols. he talks about how miserable life can become for them if they give into to these temptations, but then he says this,
"but if from there you seek YHWH, your God, you will find what you seek, if
you seek with all your heart and all your soul." (Deut. 4:29).
i love those words. especially in this season. from there.
from where? from the 'promised land' where the only promises you can see are broken to bits and lying in pieces, littering the ground. from there.
from the place where you have gotten yourself when you have made idols or gotten sidetracked, or lost the plot, or grown selfish or lazy or apathetic or exhausted or paralyzed by grief or fear. from there.
from the place where you can barely remember your first love. from there.
from the place where it's all you can do to just get out of bed, to face the mundane tasks of working, of eating, of just being in this old world. from there.
from the place where addiction has robbed you of any sense of freedom, leaving you nearly will-less, mind-less, almost mechanically enslaved to screen or substance or something. from there.
from the place where hope seems like nothing more than an old acquaintance with whom you've barely spoken in years. from resignation. from despair. from there.
if, from there, you dare to put whatever little energy you may be able to muster into seeking, searching, looking for God from there - even there - your search will not be in vain.
Jesus said it too, of course, in his own words. "ask and it will be given to you; seek and you shall find; knock and the door will be opened to you. for everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened."
you don't have to get better first. you don't have to quit. or master it. or succeed. or accomplish. or get into some perfectly-ready space. no, you simply have to start looking for God from there. from where you are, however boring or broken it may seem. and who knows? if you truly do seek the One who turns death to life, you may just find out, from there, that you are in a land of promise, after all.