Skip to main content

Breaking News: Man hears God's voice, Name



Man Claims that God Reveals "Secret Name," Wants to Deliver the Oppressed
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
by X. Odess, Staff Reporter

(AOR) MT. HOREB - The voice of God can be heard even in small brush fires.  At least that's what one local man, a shepherd named Moses, believes as he claimed to have heard God's voice today in a burning bush.  Just like any other day, Moses was tending the sheep of his father-in-law Jethro, the priest of Midian.  But this turned out to be anything but an ordinary day for the awestruck Moses, who says he saw a bush that appeared to be engulfed in flames but not consumed by the fire.  Intrigued by this strange sight, Moses approached and he says he heard a voice.  "It was like nothing I'd ever heard before, "he told Agent Orange Records, "like the sound of the sun setting, or like music from the heavens."  Moses claims that this celestial voice instructed him to remove his sandals, telling him that this section of Mt. Horeb is "holy ground." 

While many have claimed to have visions and dreams at Mt. Horeb, few have been this detailed.

Moses notes that the voice claimed to be the God of his father, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.  When asked what God looked like, Moses replied, "I really can't say, I was hiding my face the whole time." 

An encounter with God from flaming flora would seem to be enough, but there was more.  "God told me that the cry of the oppressed
has reached God's ears, and that God wants to send me to lead them out of captivity."  Before you assume that these are the visions of a raving lunatic, Moses is quick to point out that he tried to get out of this task, citing his inability to speak in public, his lack of credibility, and the fact that he didn't even know the name of this God in the fire. 

Moses, who says he simply referred to God as "lord" or "God" prior to today's strange occurence, recalled that when he pressed God on the identity question, God responded by saying, "My name is 'I am that I am' or 'I will be who I am' or 'I will be.'"  When asked why God would choose a verb for a name, Moses replied, "I have no idea, I guess God wants us to see that God isn't just a thing that we can name and understand, but God is - and will continue to be - the source of action towards freedom and redemption." 

Again, is Moses a madman?  Or is he just a man, mad with the experience of hearing the voice of God, calling him to help lead others from slavery to freedom, from oppression to community?  And what of this "I Am" God?  These questions, and others, remain unanswered.  But you can bet the folks here around Mt. Horeb are going to be looking for answers, even as Moses packs his bag to head for the lands of oppression to answer the call of this bizarre moment.  "God will go with me," says Moses. 

We hope so, Moses.  Pharoah won't be so easily convinced. 

Comments

Anonymous said…
Greg...wow...you used capitalization today, very important stuff. I have been enjoying your religious posts lately.
greg. said…
yeah...the caps...i guess i thought if i was really trying to emulate a news story, i should go with the caps. believe me, it wasn't without pain....

glad you are enjoying the faith-related posts, whoever you are.
Loved this!

Popular posts from this blog

an open letter to my sons' elementary school principal

here's the thing...i feel like the world needs more affirmation and encouragement.  the world needs more positivity, more joy, more love.  and while i can't change "the world," i can change the way i act and the things i do.  so i have decided to start telling people how awesome they are.  and i think it is important to do some of that in a public way.  so, here is a (slightly edited) letter i sent to our sons' elementary school principal.  he is awesome.  i hope it inspires you to tell someone how awesome they are, too.  and be awesome, yourself. 


Mr. Feldman,

I wanted to send you a quick note just to offer some affirmation, gratitude, and maybe even encouragement.  I believe that SCASD is a great school district, but I also know that being in public education can be a tough gig these days.  I admire teachers and administrators, especially when they do their job as a vocation, with passion and conviction.  This I see in you.  I will name three things I have per…

"follow me"

so here's the thing: i call myself a Christian.  actually, i don't even use that word as much anymore, because it ends up being a wedge between me and many other people as soon as i use it.  instead, i like to say that i'm a Christ-follower (which is closer to the way the very first Christ-followers talked about it anyway).  to be a Christ-follower is to - wait for it - follow Christ.  i know, surprising, right? 

well, it shouldn't be a shock to us that being a Christ-follower, or a Christian, means following Christ, but in America in 2018 calling yourself a Christian often has far too little to do with actually following Jesus.  when people call themselves Christians in america today, they may mean any number of things, such as:
-i went to a church sometimes when i grew up;
-i once got 'saved' at a christian camp or crusade;
-i believe in God;
-i am in favor of traditional american evangelical political positions;
-i say merry christmas instead of happy holid…

joy! this woman was born!

my friends, this unparalleled woman is celebrating a birthday today, and i cannot help but stop and say thanks that she was born.  every once in a while i imagine my life without her, and it is a dark and grim vision.  in this vision, there are no children living in my house, no voices singing opera from the shower, no kids books strewn across the living room.  in this vision, i eat spaghetti-o's from a can for dinner every night, and i am stuck in every rut i've ever gotten into.  in this terrifying vision the color of everything is gray, music sounds like a monotonous drone, and everything feels like long, cold nights. 

but she was born!

and somehow our paths were blessed to cross, and somehow i was able to convince her that spending her life with me wouldn't be as awful as it might have seemed, and somehow these last 19 years feel like the blink of an eye; like a colorful, melodic, sun-drenched, joy-filled, broken-but-blessed blink-of-an-eye journey.  all because on th…