Skip to main content

random: mint jelly and metamucil

um...so this was not the day i had expected.  i expected to get up early and write a post about my walk to work each day, complete with pictures from around my church, and in my office.  but then stuff happened.  like, oops, i accidentally pushed the wrong button on the router here at home and reset our home wireless network.  who knew one little red reset button could do that?  sure, i had to hold it in for, like, 5 seconds or something, but shouldn't you need a password and a retina scan to be able to do that? 

-then, in the midst of trying to set up a new network, i realized that the trackball on my blackberry wasn't rolling properly and figured it was a good time to go ahead and tear my phone apart to try and fix/clean it.  probably not the best decision, given the fact that i was already frustrated enough to chuck the whole phone along with one wireless router out the window into the genesis-style rain we're getting today. 

-all of that was before breakfast.

-then, at work i got a phone call to let me know that i was undercharged on something so i now owe $306 dollars that i didn't think i owed.  sweet artichoke hearts!  what the heck? 

-so, needless to say, you're not getting the "i love where i work and i want you to see how beautiful it is" post. 

-instead you're getting the "this is the day from the underworld" post. 

-at least it's mildly entertaining to you?  no? 

-well, then, let me make my perfect day complete by allowing you to mock me indiscriminately.  last night i tried not eating before i went to bed.  i have this bad habit of eating at night.  it's awful, i know, i know.  lectures about it simply will not help, so please put down the phone.  thank you.  anyway, i tried not eating but i just couldn't do it.  so, i got up to get a snack.  and do you know what i ended up with?  wheat toast with mint jelly and a glass of metamucil.  this all seemed perfectly normal to me until i had a moment of lucidity while carrying my king's snack to my room:  what are you doing, man?  mint jelly?  toast?  what is this, medieval brittania? 



-now i must tell you that i drink metamucil as nightly as i can gag it down, because it is supposed to help with one's cholesterol (the cholesterol one has presumably gotten from eating too many late-night snacks, among other things).  it has a lot of fiber, they tell me.  they didn't really need to tell me, though, because if you let that stuff sit in your glass longer than the 3.7 seconds it takes to chug it down, you soon realize that there is more fiber in one glass of metamucil than in most plus-size wool sweaters.  nothing like a draught of orange-flavored winter blankets to wash down your mint-jellied wheat toast. 

-why am i telling you this?  i have no idea.  commence with the mocking.

-but there is good news.  my wife submitted a picture she took this summer to our local paper for a contest they were having.  they were looking for the best picture for exemplifying summer here in central pa.  so she sent in a picture of our niece hanging upside down on the monkey bars at a local playground.  and today we opened our newspaper to see that she won!  of the 216 pictures submitted, she won!  you can see the article here.  here's the picture:


-sigh.  can't wait for friday.

Comments

Happy said…
I eat before bed all. the. time. Last night was a Pumpkin Pie Poptart and a cupcake. Pretty light night.

Guess I better get some Metamucil soon myself.

Hope your tomorrow is better!

Congrats to Shannon! Her picture is awesome!
NJ Grandma said…
Not enjoying the sound of your before bed snack and we are very excited about Shannon winning the picture contes - congratulations Shannon - neat picture. Hope all is well. Will see you soon.
Crafty P said…
oh I loved this post. made me chuckle a good bit.
yeah for Shannon!!!

I'd like a photographic journal and log of what you eat before bed in a given week. just to humor me and make my rice cakes with nutella sound really nutritious

Popular posts from this blog

bad haircuts (for a laugh)

everybody needs to laugh.  one good way i have found to make that happen is to do a simple google image search for 'bad haircut.'  when you do so, some of the following gems show up.  thankfully, my 9th grade school picture does NOT show up.  otherwise, it would certianly make this list!  please laugh freely and without inhibition.  thank you and have a nice day. 

happiness is dry underwear

we started potty training jack on thursday. we followed a program called POTTY TRAIN IN ONE DAY, which, by the way, i think is kind of crazy. i mean, if someone were to offer you a book called, "ACHIEVE WORLD PEACE IN ONE DAY" i don't think you would take it seriously. and yet here we are, trying to accomplish an equally daunting task in one 24-hour period. it is intense. the day is shrouded in a lie because as soon as your happily diapered child wakes up you tell him that it is a big party. we had balloons and streamers and noisemakers and silly string - all the trappings of a legitimate party. but it is most certainly not a party. it is a hellishly exhausting day. as soon as jack got out of bed, we gave him a present: an anatomically correct doll that wets himself. jack named him quincy. several times quincy successfully peed in the potty and even had an accident or two in his "big boy underwear." he also dropped a deuce that looked and smelled sus

i'm giving away the swamp

so this is a collage called swamp. i made it in february of last year. it is currently framed in a homemade, hand-painted frame. it is paper collage on a book binding panel. it is 7" x 10". and i am giving it away. i've been wanting to have a blog giveaway for some time, and the time has finally arrived. here's how it works. all you need to do is leave a comment on this post. by leaving a comment you are automatically entered into the contest (as long as your comment offers a way for me to get in touch with you, or you know that i know you). the contest will be open until next wednesday at noon, eastern standard time. at that time the contest will officially be closed and i will pick a random number. the person whose comment matches that number wins! for example, if i happen to pick the number 33, the thirty-third comment will win. oh, and one more rule: you can only post ONCE. if you win, i will send you the collage, signed by me, the artist, free of c