Friday, February 26, 2010

no mere mortal! (sniffle)


wow.  just wow.  its been snowing for more than 24 hours now, without much of a stop at all.  i can't tell how much we have right now because it is so windy that the drifts are pretty high, but i can tell that its still snowing with an arctic fury.   i have seen estimates from 12 to 24 inches.  who knows?  all i know is that it's been a crazy winter.  maybe hell has frozen over? 

at least i'm not sick.  that's right: everyone in my family was diagnosed with strep throat, and i never got it.  the reason for the world dominance of my immune system?  my propensity for eating things that have fallen on the floor.  as i type this, it occurs to me that i might not have shared this with some of you.  if you've known me for a long time, you can probably skip to the next paragraph - you already know this stuff.  but if you only know me as your pastor whom you see on sundays and other occasions, you might want to prepare yourself for a bit of a shock.  i'm very comfortable eating things that others would squirm at.  i have eaten a live earthworm.  a piece of fudge off the boardwalk.  a piece of candy off the floor of the theater (that was there when we walked into the theater!).  a gummi bear from a puddle in a parking lot.  one of my life mottos has been "God made dirt, and dirt don't hurt," which, if it isn't scripture, sure should be. 

i know, i know, this is all disgusting.  and you're entitled to your opinion, but, first of all, you've never been a youth pastor (unless you have been, in which case you might understand.  probably not, though).  i have found that a great way to get fun conversations going with a teenager is to eat something disgusting.  secondly, and this is how i got started on this topic, consuming so much dirt and bacteria and dust and oil and small bits of stone and hair have given me an uncanny ability to ward off disease.  i am no longer a mere mortal!!!! muahahahaha!  well, that's not quite true, but i do have a pretty strong stomach and immune system.  also, a baseball-sized hole in the lining of my stomach, but that's not the point.  the point is that eating food out of the garbage (i've done this) and off the floor has made me a stronger person, and helped me to avoid getting strep throat this week.  (or i could just be a strep carrier, but i prefer my hypothesis). 

however, looking at mount saint snow in my driveway makes me sort of wish i did have strep throat.  **cough...sniffle...groan***  "honey, i'm not feeling too well, i think i'm going to go back to bed..."

7 comments:

Emoly said...

you do know what this means, don't you? A baby boom in about seven to nine months. Wait. You'll see. I already know of at least three friends who are pregnant and due in six or seven months. (I'm not counting the other two friends who are due in one month, it wasn't winter yet...) Yup, look for a baby boom...

NJ Grandma said...

Looks like Shannon and the kids will have plenty of time to get better with the amount of snow that has hit New Jersey so far. Hope every one is feeling better soon and be careful as soon as every one else is well guess who will be sick!?!?!? Take care and keep warm. ~Gail~

Rachel said...

Your eating habits are pretty gross, Greg. However, I can relate...Years ago, for the last Club of the year for Young Life, we let the Seniors run the show and we had to do whatever they asked...We had to "bob for worms" in a bowl of "dirt" while blindfolded. My bowl was kindly made up of the dessert kind of dirt and the worms were of the gummy variety. However, Jay's bowl was filled with real worms!!! The worst part was that he could peek under his blindfold, so he knew it was coming. The things we do for kids!!!

Crafty P said...

I will think of this the next time the kids want to eat something off the floor/ground/sidewalk... I'm actually pretty cool with it all. They are boys and all.

But where do you draw the line, just curious.

greg. said...

wait...there's a line?

i mean, you have to use common sense, but, you know. it's funny to me how people freak out how their food is "dirty" if it drops or something, but if they only knew all that goes into their mouth while they're sleeping! people need to just face it: we live in a dirty dusty world, and we're constantly consuming it. once you get that past your psychological boundaries, you'll be good to go.

oh, and i DO draw the line at beets. no way do i eat those. ever. ever.

NJ Grandma said...

Greg - maybe if you put the beets on the floor or the sidewalk they will taste better - just a thought

greg. said...

@NJGrandma nice try...but it's not going to work. i can't even be in the house when shannon is eating beets. seriously. they are my arch-enemy.