okay, so here's something crazy. my son - a child who entered the world with me in the room - has already finished his first year of preschool. how did that happen? he is almost 4 and a half already! where did that time go?
now, it's not like they didn't warn me. "enjoy these moments," says every person who ever talks to me about kids. "soon they'll be in college." it has become a bit of a joke between shannon and i when we are cleaning vomit off the floor, or giving a child a timeout for trying to strangle his brother, that we look at each other with painted smiles and say with sarcasm, "enjoy these moments - they don't last forever."
and yet, even though there are moments along the way that are difficult to appreciate, it is absolutely true that all the moments go by like comets, on their way to some other solar system where all mundane moments go to be barely remembered. life is just frustrating like that. it is precisely those practically boring parts of all this that we really wish we could hold onto and never forget. like the way jack picks his nose when he thinks i'm not looking. or the way cade hugs my arm against his face when he is watching tv. or the way jack refers to indiana jones as "engliana jones."
and so it is that i remind myself on this night to cherish all the moments. mayby i can't chisel them all out in stone. but i can at least live them with all the presence and joy that being human allows, trusting that they won't all be forgotten- that i will carry these snapshots with me until kingdom come. especially then.
one of my prayers is that my memory will be redeemed. that all the good things i've forgotten will be remembered and all the awful things that i can't seem to forget will be lost. in the meantime i'm going to enjoy these moments. they don't last forever.