broken. the word of the day, as far as i can tell. broken like the surface of the skin, pierced by pounding fear-turned-to-hate. broken like bread. broken like a torn tunic, or a curtain ripped down the middle with the stark sound of threads splitting. broken like glass - shattered - into a million unfixable pieces. broken.
i know about brokenness. i live it everyday. when i wake up my knee hurts and my back aches: my body is broken, not the way it was meant to be. when i choose to read the day's sports news rather than pay attention to my wife, or when i yell at my kids for something petty: my relationships are broken, not the way they were meant to be. when i choose my own gratification over the needs of another, when i neglect my own need to be full of love for God and others: my spirit is broken, not the way it was meant to be.
i am not the way i was meant to be.
i am broken.
but today i remember that i am not left alone in my brokenness. in what is one of the greatest mysteries of our faith, i believe that God, in the form of humanity, decided to be broken with me, in the most obscene and egregious of ways. today i remember that the love Jesus had is the kind of love that suffers with the beloved. today i remember that Jesus suffered utter and complete brokenness ("my God, why have you forsaken me?") because he loves us and refused to allow anything to keep us from him.
so, yes, i am broken, split, sharded and scarred. but i am not alone. and even as the darkness descends upon this day, and the brokenness of life gives way to the cold emptiness of death, i hold fast to faith that brokenness is not the end of the story.
have a blessed good friday. may you know, in a new way, not only your own brokenness, but also the brokenness of Jesus for your sake.