look, i don't know who is writing the fortunes for fortune cookies these days, but some performance evaluation might be in order. i mean, really? really? does my fortune cookie really say what i just read? "someone will invite you to a karaoke party." um...great. thanks.
and i was happy when they started putting chinese phrases and words on the back of fortunes. i mean, what better time to learn a new language than when crunching up tooth-shattering dessert after a msg-laden pork-sprinkled entree. i actually enjoyed learning the chinese words for bathroom and indigestion. but do i really need to know that nan gua is chinese for pumpkin? i mean, isn't that like learning the chinese word for kansas? if i ever visit china or get into a conversation someone who only speaks chinese, i am quite certain that the word pumpkin will never, ever be used. however, the phrase that was on the caedmon's fortune might come in handy: "fa shao" is to have a fever. i might need that one when the guy carrying a pumpkin invites me to a karoake party, as in, "awww, i'd love to but i am having a fever, so, no."
thank the lord for fortune cookies.