Monday, December 08, 2008

an open letter to tony romo

dear tony romo,

you don't really know me, nor do you probably want to, but i was always taught that it is polite to thank you when you receive a gift, and so i find myself writing this note to you today.

i wanted to offer the deepest kind of gratitude for the very generous spirit you demonstrated during yesterday's football game in pittsburgh, right from the outset all the way through to the end. rather than simply offering a general and dismissive "thanks," i want to specifically thank you for the many ways you exercised a giving spirit.

first of all, you set the tone of heartfelt generosity right away when, on the third play from scrimmage, you hit troy polamalu with a beautifully thrown pass to the sideline. as a fan of the game, i was immediately impressed with you, and as you only get one shot to make a first impression, you really did a great job there. thank you.

but it didn't stop there. i noticed that you were wearing short sleeves in the cold pittsburgh evening, and i wanted you to know that this kind gesture did not go unnoticed. i mean, you coud have easily worn long sleeves like everyone else, keeping your arms warm and your body temperature at a better level. instead, you chose to freeze your appendages off, running over to the sideline heater at every possible opportunity, as if to proclaim to the steelers that you were cold and shivering. that kind of psychological edge cannot be overestimated, and i thank you for leaving no stone unturned in your generosity. it certainly did not go unnoticed by this new tony romo fan.

but once again your generosity did not stop. at the beginning of the second quarter you not only allowed yourself to be sacked by none other than james harrison, knowing that this would frustrate your own league-leading teammate, but you also decided to go ahead and fumble the ball as well, just for good measure. after all, how better to do your part in trying to win votes for harrison for defensive player of the year? i mean, you couldn't have known that the steelers would recover the ball, even though they did. once again, your giving spirit was very well recieved by the steelers defense, and i want to continue to reiterate my thankful refrain. i was beginning to see what jessica simpson sees in you.

you must have been frustrated, though. even after all your beautiful gifts, the steelers had not been able to capitalize. i once gave my wife a toaster for christmas and she hated that gift, and i just felt awful. i bet that's what you were feeling. but instead of pouting about it, you went the extra mile and force fed a beautiful interception deep in your own zone to ike taylor. ike taylor! you chose the cornerback who previously couldn't catch a cold, you sneaky little devil, you. fortunately for your ego, the steelers were able to convert that gift into three points, and your efforts finally paid off. thank you, mr. romo. i, for one, was beginning to be won over by your grace and generosity, and was just about to think of myself as a tony romo fan, until your little third-string running back decided to run all over the field so you could tie it up before halftime. and then halftime! what the h-e-double goalposts did they tell you at halftime? listen, i don't mean to give you advice, but it seems to me that you are hanging around the wrong crowd, tony. i mean, all that generosity in the first half and then you come out of halftime and decide to be a selfish son of a gun? be careful about who you listen to, mr. romo. that wasn't your best work there in the third quarter. you came across a bit selfish, i must say. and i was just about to write you off as a typical jock/jerk when you changed it all for me.

after the steelers offense finally woke up and began to score some points and tie up the game, with just under two minutes to go, with all of texas confident that you would put together a game winning field goal drive, you did the unthinkable: you demonstrated the kind of radical graciousness that is only ever seen in the most rare of individuals. putting yourself and your team and your fans and your organization last, you modeled extravagant generosity for the whole world to see. taking the snap on second and 8, deep in your own territory, you looked the steelers defense square in the eye, and found the one man who was looking directly at you. you cocked your arm and delivered a beautifully spiraling, almost slow-motion pass right at the chest of deshea townsend. the graciousness of this amazing gift cannot be overstated. yes, you have to deal with this loss and the possiblity of not making the playoffs and the reality of the cowboy fans saying awful things about you and all of that, but you proved to be the biggest person on the field yesterday with your enermous spirit and love.

again, you don't know me, nor do you probably want to, but i wanted to take a moment to let you know that kindness like yours should never go unthanked or unappreciated. on behalf of all of steelernation to you, mr. romo, the chief operating officer of "america's team," i want to offer you my deepest gratitude. you have served your country well. thank you.

a new fan,


ps. if you really want to solidify your place in my heart, please beat the ravens on december 20th. and this time you don't have to be so generous. america already knows what a great guy you are. just win that one. thanks.


Crafty P said...

ummm, that was so beautiful, I have a little tear in my eye.

Rebecca said...

I think I snorted when you mentioned Jessica Simpson.


It wasn't a pretty sound. But I was just not expecting that.

Great letter. You should mail it to him. ;)

Erin said...

Ha! i liked the heater part, i think he would have sat on it if it didn't have that 4 ft disclaimer on it..