its sunday afternoon. as i was driving home from church today i found myself forcably exhaling and saying out loud (i often talk to myself out loud when i'm in the car - there's something therapeutic about it for me): i'm beat.
i make my living as a united methodist minister, and one of the things that means is that i preach every sunday morning. and, don't get me wrong, preaching is one of my favorite parts of my calling. however, when its over each week, i find that i am physically and emotionally exhausted. it is like the whole week is building to this one moment, and when it is over, i just need to time to unwind and recover. maybe some preachers are energized by the preaching moment, i'm not sure, but i know that for me, while i love it, it really takes it out of me.
and speaking of preaching, i always find myself reflecting on what is to me an awkward situation: when people are leaving church and they say to you, "that was a great sermon." i mean, what do i say to that? i think i normally say thank you, but it makes me feel a little strange because it really isn't about me. i know some pastors say, "praise God," but this makes me feel like i've got three heads, because its just not something you say to someone normally (your hair looks really nice that way... praise God!). what i really want to say to people who tell me my sermon is good is, "its only as good as you make it!" but this can be a bit condescending and rough. so i mostly just say thank you, but it never really comes out quite the way i want it to.
so, i'm going to think about it a little bit more as i close my eyes here just for a second...