Thursday, February 07, 2008

burp.

burp. oh yeah, that was garlic. yum.

so i've been eating a very different diet for the last four weeks to try and lower the cholesterol in my body, but this diet has had other interesting effects on my body as well. like garlic burps. those are a result of the clove of fresh roasted garlic i eat each day in addition to the garlic pill i swallow before bed. the experts tell me that garlic can help me lose bad cholesterol. they didn't tell me about how it can also help me lose friends and basically anyone in my general vicinity.

and it's not just garlic. everyday i eat an apple (to keep away the doctor, if not for the pectin), 23 almonds, lots of flaxseed, a large glass of metamucil, 25 grams of soy protein, plant sterols, oatmeal, and a large serving of beans. every stinkin' day. and i mean stinkin'. all this fiber has me very regular and, well, bloated. not only is this mildly uncomfortable, it is majorly unpopular. between my breath, my sweat glands, and my hot air, i find myself getting alot more time to myself recently, not to mention personal space. i'm always at the front of every line (if i'm not losing my spot in line because i have to go to the bathroom).

fortunately, i am losing weight. hopefully, i am losing cholesterol. and sincerely i hope i'm not losing any more friends or acquaintances.

greg.

5 comments:

Matt said...

Sorry that your body's not reacting well... I hear you on the gassy/bloated thing (I switched to the wal-mart brand of metamucil, and it is yuck... so I'm switching back)

greg. said...

thanks for the advice: i'll avoid sam walton's psyllium husk.

Mary said...

whelp...you can stop the countdown of when you get to see awesome me. im repulsed....

Pete said...

Hey, we're starting to try to eat better around our house--luckily we're both garlic fiends (I bought 12 heads of garlic today...no vampires around here!) Any recommendations?

greg. said...

pete,
i (read shannon) just roast the garlic in some olive oil. the flavor of the garlic is delicious when you roast it this way for about 30 minutes. it is not as harsh as raw garlic, but still very flavorful. yummy. other than that, i don't have a lot of recipes. i've just been adding the aformentioned ingredients to my food, and cutting out most of my meats and trans fats.
greg.