it is finished. yesterday afternoon i went to the postal annex and overnighted all of my paperwork to the conference office. its not due until monday, but i really wanted to get it to the office early so that i was absolutely sure it got there and there are no issues with it. it is a box with 20 paper copies of all my paperwork, a cd with all my paperwork, and a video of my sermon.
i had expected that when i sent that all to the conference office i would breathe a deep sigh of relief. but it wasn't quite like that. as i drove home from the postal annex my anxiety began to rise (if you've been around me the last few weeks you are probably wondering how my anxiety level could possibly rise). i mean, when i was holding onto it i still had some control over it. yeah, it meant hard and sometimes tedious work, but it also meant that i could fix anything with it. now that it is gone i have no control. i can only sit here and hope that it is right.
and hope isn't such a bad thing. its an appropriate experience for advent. it is what i am preaching on this sunday. so i need to practice what i preach (as always). at least in this case, hope is only possible because i have surrendered control. i need to do some reflecting about what that means for me this advent. i mean, of course i hope in a coming Kingdom that is very different than the present: a time of peace and a time with no suffering. but i wonder if my hope would be stronger if my compulsion to control could be contained. as is usually the case, i need to decrease so that Christ can increase. something for me to thing about as i journey on these next few weeks...
so, until february you shouldn't hear me talk too much about the ordination process. i'm basically done until my interviews. thanks for reading and supporting me. i'll stop whining now. well, i'll stop whining about this.
i'll be hanging christmas lights today. and whatever other jobs shannon gives me. its my day off from work, so i have all day to help her prepare for her pampered chef party tonight. by the way, for those who read yesterday's post, the church conference last night went very well, even if it did go until after 10:00. yikes.
have a great thursday,
ps. can someone explain to me why we hang christmas lights on the house? i mean, i am trying to be as green as possible in my life. shannon and i have been composting all of our organic garbage and we recycle everything we can. i really care about this stuff, and yet today i am going to hang miles and miles of energy-sucking cheap-o wal-mart lights that we will have on every night from now until christmas. i don't get this. but, at this point, it's a moot point (or as joey from friends says, "a moo point: a cow's opinion), because the boss tells me i'm hanging them. still, if someone could justify my laziness by telling me how bad they are for the environment, that would be great...