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hope isn't such a bad thing

it is finished. yesterday afternoon i went to the postal annex and overnighted all of my paperwork to the conference office. its not due until monday, but i really wanted to get it to the office early so that i was absolutely sure it got there and there are no issues with it. it is a box with 20 paper copies of all my paperwork, a cd with all my paperwork, and a video of my sermon.

i had expected that when i sent that all to the conference office i would breathe a deep sigh of relief. but it wasn't quite like that. as i drove home from the postal annex my anxiety began to rise (if you've been around me the last few weeks you are probably wondering how my anxiety level could possibly rise). i mean, when i was holding onto it i still had some control over it. yeah, it meant hard and sometimes tedious work, but it also meant that i could fix anything with it. now that it is gone i have no control. i can only sit here and hope that it is right.

and hope isn't such a bad thing. its an appropriate experience for advent. it is what i am preaching on this sunday. so i need to practice what i preach (as always). at least in this case, hope is only possible because i have surrendered control. i need to do some reflecting about what that means for me this advent. i mean, of course i hope in a coming Kingdom that is very different than the present: a time of peace and a time with no suffering. but i wonder if my hope would be stronger if my compulsion to control could be contained. as is usually the case, i need to decrease so that Christ can increase. something for me to thing about as i journey on these next few weeks...

so, until february you shouldn't hear me talk too much about the ordination process. i'm basically done until my interviews. thanks for reading and supporting me. i'll stop whining now. well, i'll stop whining about this.

i'll be hanging christmas lights today. and whatever other jobs shannon gives me. its my day off from work, so i have all day to help her prepare for her pampered chef party tonight. by the way, for those who read yesterday's post, the church conference last night went very well, even if it did go until after 10:00. yikes.

have a great thursday,

greg.

ps. can someone explain to me why we hang christmas lights on the house? i mean, i am trying to be as green as possible in my life. shannon and i have been composting all of our organic garbage and we recycle everything we can. i really care about this stuff, and yet today i am going to hang miles and miles of energy-sucking cheap-o wal-mart lights that we will have on every night from now until christmas. i don't get this. but, at this point, it's a moot point (or as joey from friends says, "a moo point: a cow's opinion), because the boss tells me i'm hanging them. still, if someone could justify my laziness by telling me how bad they are for the environment, that would be great...

Comments

nysewanders said…
Yeah probably not great for the environment, but absolutely are they great for the soul, to get you in the Christmas spirit. Unless of course there are blue ones in the mix. Thats lame. Gotta go straight up white, that will warm the soul.
Erin said…
Greg,
Just please don't tell me you've stooped to giant blow up santas or snowmen...
erin
Crafty P said…
congrats on turning all your paperwork in! I've been trying to keep up with your whole process of late, but well, my life has been a bit constant.

I love twinkle lights and really appreciate the people who take time to put them up around their house. So... know that you're making someone's day even if you're not being the "greenest" house on the block.

i happen to like blue lights. something about them is so ethereal. I've always wanted to decorate with blue, but have tons of white ones, so I don't.
now, colored lights- blech!
mary said…
yay greg! enjoy the sense of doing all in your power!just let go and rest knowing that there is nothing more you can do. stop. breathe. think. enjoy :)

last night...i saw a house decorated for christmas like ive never seen before. every square foot of their front yard was covered....this house can be seen from outerspace i swear. i guess so many people drive by it in the winter that they have a collection box outfront for a local charity (though i say its to help pay for their electricity!)

blue lights are un-Christmas.
Pete said…
I can't tell you how much electricity Christmas lights use, but I can tell you that many of the ones made in China are made by hand by imprisoned Chinese pastors, as part of their sentence. Something to think about.

Pete
greg. said…
pete, that was awesome. that would have completely convinced me that hanging christmas lights is morally wrong and sinful, but you were just too late. they're already up.

don't worry, erin. i'm not a blow up santa or snowman or air-powered snow globe kind of guy. just lights.
pete said…
Ah well--that's typical for me. Good think I'm not a defense attorney.
John said…
Good luck on ordination!

I get my commissioning packet in January, and will submit it to BOOM in October.
greg. said…
and good luck to you, john. i love your blog. will link to it soon.

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