agentorange

new collage: fragments of elegance

2012-01-31T07:03:00.001-05:00

"fragments of elegance"

acrylic paint, found papers, vintage papers, masking tape on canvas

gregory a. milinovich

i am so grateful that i continue to find my way down to the "art cave" in my basement and paint and cut and glue and rip. i had some fun with this simpler, somewhat more geometric collage. it's got all manner of earthy colors of acrylic paint, applied and washed and pulled away. then i kept it simple with just a few pieces applied, with some careful attention paid to color and positioning and line. it's just good to be creating again!

when bad things happen

2012-01-30T12:09:00.001-05:00

yesterday in church we continued our "when Christians get it wrong" series by talking about how Christians act when bad things happen. we talked a bit about our theology of suffering and evil, because what we believe about those things will affect how we behave. and, i believe that how we behave in times of tragedy and suffering and difficulty has often been a formative reason for people rejecting the church and her beliefs. based on the book by rev. adam hamilton, this series is suggesting that we sometimes get some things very wrong in Christianity, and that this is at least partly responsible for the mass exodus from our churches today. there are, of course, a myriad of cultural factors that help explain the failure of american mainline churches, but one of the key ones is that we have not lived our faith in ways that truly reflect the Christ whom we follow.

"i like your Christ," Gandhi once said, "i do not like your Christians. they are so unlike your Christ."

thank you, Gandhi. that's what i was trying to say.

so when it comes to what Christians believe about evil and suffering, i simply wanted to challenge people to think about how much God controls all of the details of our lives. We seem to behave like God is pulling levers and pushing buttons and controlling everything that happens all day long, from the other drivers on the road to the results of whatever sporting event we're watching. if there is an accident on the road up ahead, Christians have often been heard saying how grateful to God they are that God caused them to leave a few minutes late so that they wouldn't be in the accident. do we really believe this? that God loved me enough to save me, but didn't love the other drivers enough to protect them? i guess i'm more lovable? if we believe that God is orchestrating every little event, then we have to admit that God is causing many gruesome deaths and terrible accidents. if this were true, God would be causing diseases and torture and abuse, and saving others from these very things. do we really believe this? i think not.

we also have to get away from the belief that bad things happen because God is trying to punish us. i am so exhausted from trying to defend Christianity from the lunacy of some Christians who want to turn every tragedy into the acts of a mean and vindictive God who punishes the sin of some by wiping out and hurting many. some have said that 9/11 happened because God was punishing america for our loose morals, homosexuality, the aclu, and feminism. and hurricane katrina was a result of gambling and promiscuity. and, of course, homosexuality. oh, and the earthquake in haiti? you may have thought that it was the result of movements in the earth's crust along a fault line but, according to pat robertson, you'd be wrong, you simpleton, you. actually, that earthquake happened because the haitians had made a deal with the devil to get the french out years ago. so they are being punished. so, here's where Christianity gets a bad name and comes off looking ludicrous: we say things like,
-God is love,
-love God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength,
-Jesus loves you,
-God says, "I will never leave you or forsake you,"
and so on.

but then we talk out of the other side of our mouths and say that God is punishing america for her lack of morals, or punishing the poor in haiti because of something some witch doctor ancestors of theirs did.

really?

excuse me while i take a second to cool down.

okay. i'm back. i apologize for the delay, but it really infuriates me. we tell people that they can believe in a loving God, but then we act like that God is anything but loving. i once counseled a couple who was miscarrying a baby, after having already miscarried numerous others, and while they were grieving for this lost child, they were more scared that God was going to be angry at them. how much have Christians failed to do their job if people think God is going to be angry at them for miscarrying a baby? beyond measure, that's how much.

"by this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you condemn sin." -Jesus. (nope).
"by this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you correct sinners." -Jesus (nope).
"by this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you change people's minds." -Jesus (nope).
"by this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." -Jesus (there it is.). (john 13:35)

see what i mean? God is not a good that sits around and thinks of creative and violent ways to punish us, nor does God desire for us to be broken and diseased and nearly killed just to teach some important lesson or make us stronger.

and yet.

and yet, that's what we sometimes tell people who are suffering. we may mean well, but we say, "this is all part of God's plan," or, "God is testing you, or making you stronger." and that is not helpful. it only causes people to (understandably) reject this so-called God of love who seems to mostly love pain and suffering.

instead, Christians should try and get it right. we get it right by saying things like, "i'm so sorry. so sorry." and, even better, "i am here for you. whatever you need. i'll be right by your side as you go through this." that's the best possible witness to someone who is suffering. it's not to tell them about God's love. it's not to try and convince them that God still loves them even though they are hurting. and it certainly isn't to tell them that God is using this to strengthen or punish them. no, the best possible thing we can do is suffer with them, which is called compassion. that's what love does. And God is love.

let's get it right.

bug birthday, part 1

2012-01-28T09:17:00.000-05:00

last night we had part one of jack's 7th birthday party, a two-part party (because of two sets of traveling grandparents...that would be a great band name, wouldn't it? the traveling grandparents.) with a bug theme. we had a great time among the ants and bees and spiders and so on. shannon made a "earth" cake with a tree stump and an anthill, and some accompanying bugs. enjoy some pictures of the cake and the festivities, until part two next weekend!

book review: the road

2012-01-27T07:59:00.001-05:00

well, it may be hard to believe, but i finished yet another book this week. this time i finished cormac mccarthy's pulitzer prize winning novel "the road."

it was awesome.

not the "oh my gost i loved it so much and can't wait to read it again because it takes me to a happy place" awesome, but more like the true meaning of the word. the book inspired awe. and fear. and the smallest little embers of hope, too, which i suppose, is where the book's greatest power lies.

it is a bleak tale. well, bleak doesn't even begin to describe it.

first, a note about the style. i've never read a mccarthy novel before (he's written several popular books including "no country for old men," and "all the pretty horses," to name a few), so i don't know if all his books are like this or not, but the book didn't include some basic grammatical fundamentals like complete sentences or quotation marks. it took me awhile to adjust to this, but once i did, i rather enjoyed the style, including the very terse conversations between characters written without much indication as to who's saying what. i was talking to a friend about this yesterday and he pointed out that i, too, have a disdain for grammar and proper punctuation. as i reflected on that, i figured i ought to be clear about one thing to my readers: i have a disdain for capital letters, that is true. i have no problem with grammar, though, so if it appears that i have chosen to reject the basic rules of grammar its not because i'm choosing to. it's because most of my time of learning the fundamentals of grammar were at jessamine county high school in the middle of kentucky. so, i done did pretty good for learnin' me some grammars.

secondly, my thoughts about the novel itself. (i recognize that that sentence was a fragment, so maybe i do choose to eschew the rules of grammar after all. hmmm.....i'm going to have to think about this). the novel is set somewhere in a future america, presumably along the eastern seaboard, possibly in new jersey or maryland or even maybe a bit further south. it's hard to say. mccarthy never tells you. the book has two major human characters, a boy and a father, whose names we are never given. we simply know them as the boy and the man, and we know that they are following the road through a countryside that has been ravaged and raped by some unnamed disaster. everything is ash. and black. and eaten. there is not vegetation, and no animal, save for one dog they hear in the distance. there are almost no humans, except for the few who have banded together in gangs of cannibals. it is a harsh and dark and hopeless world through with the boy and the man traverse. it is so grim, and yet oddly compelling, partly because of the man's determination to protect the boy and the boy's quickly-dying innocence.

i had read the one-liner reviews on the back cover of the book, and someone from time magazine or the new york times or some such reviewer of literature, claimed that it was a tale of redemption, so i turned each worsening page clinging to an expectation that something wonderful would happen. and it did, i suppose, but not in the dramatic or neat way i might have subconsciously wanted. let's put it this way: the story doesn't end with a wedding. and yet, for it's own way of saying that when all is lost, all is not quite lost, i appreciate this work. it is stunning in its comprehensive description of a burnt-out world, and it has tainted the way i look at the world around me.

yesterday i drove down rt. 147, south out of sunbury through herndon and along the west side of the susquehanna river. if it had been a bright sunny autumn day, i'm sure the drive would have been stunningly beautiful. but it wasn't. it waa a damp, cold, and dreary january day, punctuated by bits of leftover gray snow, hanging onto the landscape like some shapeless gray roadkill. as i drove the 40 minute drive to my destination, i was transported to "the road." i couldn't escape it. i began to imagine that every home and car that i saw along the way had long ago been abandoned and ransacked for anything of use. i imagined myself walking on that road, with the air full of the ash of a burning land. it wasn't hard to imagine, as i saw so many burnt out houses, barns, sheds and old cars that i soon began to feel a bit lost in that land between fantasy and reality. it didn't help that it seemed like no one else was driving on rt. 147 at about 11am yesterday. i drove through the town of herndon without seeing another soul, or even, it felt like, any evidence that any soul had been there anytime in the last 5 years. the world felt gray. and empty. and dilapidated. and rusted. and marked by spray paint. and punctuated by ads for divorce lawyers. and turned over and overtaken by the relentless power of nature.

i was on the road.

fortunately, i was able to reach my destination and come out of the ashy fog back into my reality, which involved lunch with a dear friend and some thoughtful and life-giving conversation. but it wasn't too hard to imagine a world in which such happy meetings are uncommon, or even gone. except...except for hope. which compels me to turn the page; which compels me to cling to my faith; which compels me to claim color as victorious over the ashen gray of life; which compels me to laugh; which compels me to joy and friendship and mercy and tenderness and compassion and courage to face the future. hope. hope that gray is not the final color, that death is not the final state, and that goodbye is not the final word. hope that love wins. hope that abundant life is not somewhere over the rainbow, but is right here right now if only i would live like it.

mccarthy's exquisite book reminded me of all of that, despite it's grim portrait of the future. and i am grateful for having read it and been reminded of it.

our week in pictures

2012-01-26T07:14:00.001-05:00

here are the cookies shannon made for jackson's class. he is having a bug-themed birthday, and so these cookies painted with bees and beetles, spiders and butterflys were taken to school. tomorrow night we'll have a bug cake. pictures forthcoming...

and here's our little 6-month old. too cute for words.

we got some snow this weekend (6 inches, perhaps?). and the boys played in it all weekend. i helped them build a snow fort. this is caedmon working on the fort.

lifespan and beyond

2012-01-25T07:19:00.001-05:00

my first child turns 7 today. sev-en. as in years.

beyond my own sense of wonder that i am a father to a seven year old, i am just full of love for jackson. he is such a delight, and a wonderful little boy. he brings such a joy to our home, and a relentless desire to know and understand more and more about the world around him. he will often tell me the lifespan of a cockroach, or the wingspan of a pterodactyl. well, in the span of his seven years, i have fallen even more in love with him even though the moment he was born, i was convinced i could never love anyone or anything any more. but i do. for the duration of my lifespan and beyond. happy birthday, little man.

a couple of books

2012-01-24T07:15:00.001-05:00

i have a love/hate relationship with finishing a book. there's something incredibly gratifying about turning the final page or the binding and being left to simply read the reviews or the publisher's paragraphs on the back of the book. there's a glorious sense of completion and perhaps even accomplishment. if the book was, um, let's say less than stellar, then it has the distinct flavor of crossing something off of your to-do list. on the other hand, if the book was compelling, or if it was a delight, like a piece of chocolate that you wish would never melt away in your mouth, then finishing a book is a distinct kind of agony. there is a grievous sense of completion and perhaps accomplishment. all that is left is to hold the book as great closed thing, like standing poutingly outside an amusement park, looking in through its locked gates after it has closed for the day.

i am often guilty of reading several books at once, and that sometimes leads to the unique situation i found myself in this week: i finished two books in a matter of 3 or 4 days. first, i finished a book called "same kind of different as me," by ron hall and denver moore.

it is the unlikely story of a louisiana plantation cotton picker turned homeless man, and a successful texas art dealer, brought together by a woman who dared to be faithful to the feeling she had in her that God was calling her to love the "unlovable" in real and concrete ways. the story is written by both men, told in their distinct voices, from their completely different worldviews. i don't want to give anything away, in case one of you is going to read it, but let's just say that it will probably cause your eyes to well up more than once, both with elation and profound sorrow. it is an amazing story of reconciliation, across huge socio-economic divides, racial divides, and more. it is a true story, and if it doesn't challenge you to rethink your own attitudes about the homeless and those who are "one the margins" in your world, then you're not really paying attention.

then, last night i finished a completely different kind of book, called "the yellow leaves" by frederick buechner.

as buechner is one of my favorite authors, or at least one of my favorite wordsmiths, i latch on to anything that has his name attached to it. this book is exactly what its subtitle indicates: a miscellany. it is a collection of what buechner calls 'yellow leaves,' bits of stories that are still hanging on. it includes a bit of a novel, some wonderfully tasty short vignettes about members of his family, all kinds of poetry, and so on. all of it is full of the expected wit and wordplay for which so many have come to love buechner. if you're looking for some kind of complete work, or cohesive story, don't get this book. in fact, unless you are already a big fan of buechner, i wouldn't really recommend this book. however, if you have found that you love the way he can turn the mundane into something like holy ground, just by shedding a different light on it, you will find this to be a wonderful little collection, and you'll be glad these leaves were captured before falling to the ground.

be very afraid.

2012-01-20T17:45:00.004-05:00

my newest family video. made to look like a film trailer. set to a song by the group invincible. enjoy!

fruity pebbles and hot lava: life in our house

2012-01-19T07:52:00.000-05:00

here's an update on the major recent developments in our house:

caedmon drew a smiling octopus(?) with sea-green legs and happy little eyebrows.

jackson colored a worksheet at school in his typical style: extremely multi-colored. it's like God spilled a giant bowl of fruity pebbles (yum) all over the earth. he pretty consistently colors things this way, and i, for one, am a fan of his distinct style.

this is our hallway. recently the carpet in our hallway transformed into hot lava, rendering passage nearly impossible save for the rocks that were left uncovered. unfortunately, since Cade was learning about the letter 'r,' we could only step on rocks that had the letter 'r' on them, which created some very dangerous jumping to get to the bathroom, especially when holding Quinton. happily, no one was (badly) burned by the carpet lava, and i think we are all better at recognizing our 'r's.

finally, we spent hours and hours (seriously) this weekend building a huge lego police station whose thousands of pieces had become spread across all our lego bins. after we finished building it, we organized pieces with a passionate fury. shannon, jackson and i were intense about sorting every last piece, into about 50 different categories. then we went and bought some new storage bins to make it work. and so, with this comes a very simple warning. if you come and visit us, and you have children, please don't be offended if i hide the legos before you arrive. or if you find padlocks on the bins. we're not messing around here. we take our organization seriously.

that's life in the milinovich house. if life in your house is even half as blessed, then you are very blessed indeed.

my precious

2012-01-18T08:39:00.001-05:00

nerds unite:

i just discovered (where have i been?) that the always awesome LEGO corporation has purchased the rights to produce licensed "Lord of the Rings" products, which means minifigure Aragorn will soon be at a store near you (the lego site says summer 2012). how awesome is that? i'm going to need to go to the bank to see about taking out a small loan, as i will be wanting every set, from Shelob's lair to the prancing pony. my inner fantasy nerd has been busy doing a jig all morning since i saw this, and is now sitting down with some longbottom leaf.

collage: God's word

2012-01-17T06:40:00.000-05:00

"God's word"

vintage photo and papers, old bible cover, glued

gregory a. milinovich

"God's word" (detail)

as i mentioned last week, i finally rediscovered my collage space, down in the corner of the basement. i had to do a little organizing, but it didn't take long for the creative juices to get flowing. as i started putting things in their "right' place, i felt myself getting excited as new ideas popped into my head, and previously unrelated items began to make connections.

i had been looking at some work by other artists, and was inspired by some of the more simple ones, especially the art of david wallace. so this is perhaps, a bit derivative, but it's just a direction i want to explore and incorporate into my own style. this particular one has an individual leaning to our left, head swelling with the word of God. the backing for the collage is a very old altar bible cover, with a decorative bevel, and obviously quite worn. it made for a really interesting canvas, in my opinion, and i liked the shape of the northern border of new york state as a kind of statuesque bust for the figure. it appears the binding on the Bible was glued at some point, and that explains the tape residue along the bottom of the collage. it creates an interesting foil to the character at the center. hope you enjoy.

i'm not trying to

2012-01-16T08:36:00.000-05:00

today we stop and recognize the important work and legacy of dr. martin luther king jr. i am always prone to some reflection on this day, as racism has always been something that stirs up a righteous anger in me, even when i detect its subtleties in my own attitudes and behaviors. i've been thinking about dr. king a great deal recently, as i've been working on a sermon series about how Christians sometimes deal with issues in ways that are anything but loving. and then, when i think about how Christians get it right, i often think of dr. king, and his writings and his life's example which i think so often got it right. he is really a great hero for me.

and then yesterday i was privileged to spend some time with a dear friend who, along with her husband adopted a young girl from ethiopia a couple of years ago. we had some great conversation about the kinds of racism that exist which she had not ever thought of before until now, as she is mommy to a little girl with chocolate-colored skin.

this conversation caused me to reflect on my own experience of being a white (peach? tan?) person, part of the privileged, entitled majority my whole life. while racism and it's inequality has always infuriated me, the truth is that, in subtle, almost undetectable ways, racism is still a part of my life. every time i chuckle along at a joke about a particular race; every time i make an assumption about someone based on their name or their melanin; every time i tell a story and describe someone as a "black man," while never thinking to describe another character as a "white m an," i reveal the racism latent within me. it's there. i don't nurture it and feed it. but it's there. in most of us, regardless of how brown or yellow or beige you look. most of us don't want to hear it or deal with it, but we should.

i can't help but think of my son, jack. recently, when he gets reprimanded for anything, he immediately recites his defensive response: i wasn't trying to! so, if i get in jackson's case for not listening to me when i tell him to clean up his dishes, he reacts, "i wasn't trying to." it might go something like this....
daddy: jackson, why are your dishes still on the table? didn't i ask you to take them to the kitchen?
jackson: oh yeah, sorry.
daddy: hey bud, you've got to try and do a better job of listening when your mother and i ask you to do something, k?
jackson: i wasn't trying to.
daddy: you weren't trying to what? ignore me?
jackson: i guess.
daddy: but were you trying to listen?
jackson: huh? what?
daddy: i said, were you tyring to listen?
jackson: daddy, when are we going to pin that stinkbug into my bug collection.
daddy: sigh.

see what i mean? he feels like as long as he wasn't deliberately trying to disobey me that it shouldn't be a very big deal. if he had meant to defy me by leaving his dishes on the table, that would have been problematic. but as it is, he just neglected to listen carefully, failed to follow through and got distracted. so, not a big deal, right?

wrong. doing something wrong, even when you're not trying to do something wrong, is still doing something wrong. get it? how does it apply to martin luther king jr., and the racism that i was talking about? well, the truth is that there is racism in all of us, to some degree, and yet we often let ourselves of the hook, so to speak, because, well, we're not trying to be racists. it's not like we're out joining the kkk or something. and yet, by not trying to see the subtle (or not) racism in our own selves; by not trying to stop; by not trying to learn; by not trying to change, we are engaging in the very injustice that we cringe at when we see some epic film about racism. when we just accept the status quo, enjoying our position of privilege without ever being willing to put ourselves in the shoes of another who is not so entitled, we are racists. "but i'm not trying to," may be your reply. yes, i know. neither am i. but that's not the question. the question, at least for me on this martin luther king jr. day (he would have turned 83 yesterday) is this: am i trying to grow; am i trying to change; am i trying to live for justice for all, not just for some, not just for me? am i trying?

saturday song: like the wheel

2012-01-14T07:16:00.001-05:00

today for our saturday song i bring you a melancholy song about, well, i think its about death. not totally sure, but it seems to me some different metaphors for death and our own mortality. no matter what its about, it is haunting and (at least to me) gorgeous. i love it. it's be "the tallest man on earth", which is really just a moniker for kristian matsson, a swedish man who records his own music (very lo-fi) in his own home, complete with the occasional chair squeak and dog bark. this song comes from his album "sometimes the blues is like a passing bird," from 2010. enjoy.

lol spiderz and hatchets in my back

2012-01-13T07:41:00.000-05:00

-i think i slept in some kind of odd position the other night because this is the second day in a row in which i can barely turn my head. if someone behind me or even next to me calls me, i have to turn my entire body to see them. this presents an interesting challenge when driving. 'looking both ways' has taken on whole new levels of difficulty. i was hoping it would be gone this morning, but i still feel like i've got a hatchet lodged in the back of my neck, and it has the flexibility of a cold steel beam. (dangit. i was trying to avoid all forms of the word 'steel.' now i'm crying again.)

-how great is it that "up all night" has moved to nbc's thursday night? now i can watch parks and rec, the office and up all night back to back to back. the only thing that would make it better is if "new girl" would change networks and go to thursday night. then i wouldn't even need to turn my tv on except on thursday. (you can tell we are between football and baseball seasons [at least for me]).

-this week, as i continue our sermon series at church about "when Christians get it wrong" (based on the book by the same title by Adam Hamilton, we will be taking a look at how Christians have sometimes missed the mark when it comes to politics and science. in politics i believe Christians get it wrong when we put our idealogy above our theology..when we forget whose image we bear...and when we set aside our call to love in the name of being right. when we spend more time listening to rush limbaugh or watching msnbc then we do listening for the Spirit of God, we get it wrong. when we marry our faith to a particular political party, we get it wrong. when we engage in the same spin, slander and self-righteous fear-mongering as others, we get it wrong. when it comes to science, we get it wrong when we are close-minded and unwilling to ask questions. when we are locked-in to only one narrow reading of the scriptures without being willing to explore other options, we get it wrong. when we see science as an adversary to be silenced rather than an ally to help us declare the glory of God, we get it wrong. when we let fear keep us from learning more about God's unthinkably awesome creation, we get it wrong. and when we get these things wrong in politics and science, people notice. it is one of the factors that has led to people in general - especially younger folks - dismissing the church as irrelevant and out of touch with reality. on the other hand, Christians get it right when we are teachable; when we are willing to learn and ask questions; when we remember that we are citizens of God's kingdom first; when we let love be our banner; when we are humble enough to say that we don't know all the answers. and we will get it right if we repent of what we've done wrong and work towards getting it right.

-good news: i found my collage room again. it's been awhile, but i cleared off the table in there and started gluing some things together. of course i did it while holding a baby in one arm, so, it wasn't exactly ideal, but it was at least good to dust off the bottle of glue. there are good creative days ahead....i can feel it!

-ever heard of LOLcats? just pictures of cats with ridiculous captions. some of them are side-splitting funny. you can see them here. i was thinking about al gore and spiders last night, and thought i would make my own little LOLspider.

-amazing video that my friend daniel shared with me. really cool that they all play the same guitar, and the singing is really good, too. check it out.

-i've been listening to alot of mat kearney this week, to help get my mind off the steelers. every 5-minute period that goes by in which i don't think about the death trap that is denver, colorado is a major victory for me. baby steps. here's one of the songs of his most recent album:

-that's it for now, unless something else completely random pops into my head. if it does, you'll be the first to know. you can count on me.

new year's resolution: eat more

2012-01-12T08:01:00.000-05:00

quin made a new year's resolution for 2012, or at least one was made for him. it's one he probably would have made, if he had the abilities to think cognitively about what he'd like to change for the new year, and subsequently tell us about it. unfortunately, his abilities are limited to essentially sleeping, sucking, pooping and looking ridiculously cute. so, we made a resolution for him: that he would start eating more, because he was looking so, you know, skinny. actually, we wanted him to move to some solid foods. so shannon started spoon-feeding him rice cereal this week and he's been housing it. needless to say, he's doing well on his new year's resolution so far.

so, while the rest of us try to eat less in january, quin is focused on eating more. and he's off to a good start. keep up the good work, little man.

pinteresting.

2012-01-11T08:50:00.001-05:00

to blog or to waste my time on pinterest? that is the question.

talk to you guys later.

in-between

2012-01-10T08:46:00.000-05:00

-good news! it's tuesday. after a monday that i'm certain was 12 times its normal length, that is good news indeed.

-also, a new david crowder band album and a new snow patrol album in one day. awesome.

-today, as i drove jackson to school through the valley that is the older part of sunbury, i was looking west into a big 'ol full moon just hanging over the ridge, while the electric-orange sun was just showing off it's own circular glory over the opposite ridge in the east. it was a beautiful kind of "being caught in the middle," especially as i've been reflecting on genesis 1 for this weeks sermon.

-there is nothing like an icy cold grey morning drive to make your life feel like a movie. i drove over the owl-brown-grey susquehanna, lined with barren trees, with stick-cold branches pointing everywhere like so many arrows, while the stereo in my minivan spilled out the sounds of the civil wars: "i hear something hanging on the wind..." beautiful. it would probably be a pretty boring movie. but it would have a killer soundtrack.

-now that i'm not previewing/reviewing steelers game film, i want to glue things together! i have been avoiding my collage space altogether, as it just seems to mock me when i go near there, with colorful comments about what i haven't been doing lately. so, i want to put an end to that and get back into the swing of creating things made from ripped and torn and broken and discarded things. so, just to inspire me, more than anything, here's a small one i made years ago from a classroom filmstrip:

"the in-between"

paper and film on cardboard

gregory a. milinovich

-so, in between the sun and the moon, in between the start and the end, in between whatever spaces you've been and the ones where you are going, be where you are. be there. be present. be alive. be yourself. be uninhibited. be free. be abundant. be hopeful.

leave me alone. don't talk to me.

2012-01-09T14:39:00.001-05:00

even big ben likes to tebow

bet you didn't think you'd hear from me today, huh?

-well, i'm mostly in denial mixed with shock. i keep coming to, and thinking, "oh, good, that was just a terrible nightmare that didn't really happen."

and then i realize it did, and dry heave. again.

-yeah, it's that bad.

-if i were a professional athlete, i wouldn't wear Jesus on my sleeve the way tebow does for the same reason that i don't put Jesus stickers all over my car. i know i'll do things that Jesus would never do. like when tebow ran for 9 yards last night, then got up and flexed his arms while screaming right into the face of the prone defender. yep. that's what Jesus would do, tim. nice work.

-if i wasn't a pastor, my facebook status would be: "leave me alone. don't talk to me." but that's probably not the most pastoral thing to do, so i have to temper my disgust a bit.

-plus, my eyes hurt too bad to look at facebook anyway. they are extremely sore after i repeatedly stabbed them with rusty nails dipped in poison.

-c'mon. permit me a little drama here.

-the broncos quite simply outplayed the steelers. one caveat: the steelers were missing 5 key players for a majority of the game, not to mention ben roethlisberger, who was only a fraction of himself. denver won fair and square, but it stinks for a team to get beat when you simply aren't able to put your best team out there. both hampton and starks hurt their acl's in the game, and keisel left with a significant groin injury. it looked like a preseason game at times for the steelers.

-you know who i feel bad for (besides myself)? ryan clark. dude wasn't allowed to play because of a blood condition that doesn't like altitude, and his absence ends up being a significant factor in the game. that must be hard to swallow.

-i try to stay away from the steelers discussions on the web on days like today, but i confess i did peak. people are being typically reactionary and chicken-little-ish. they went ben released. they want to fire tomlin. two words: shut up. just shut up. tomlin is a great coach, ben is an amazing quarterback, and steelers fans are spoiled rotten with a team that is consistently in the playoff mix.

-this was a really fun season, full of all sorts of ups and downs. we got to play an extra game, and it just so happened that our injuries were too bad and our luck ran out. it happens. what can you do? you simply stab your eyeballs with something pointy, kneel to the porcelain bowl (tebow-ing?), and wait til next year. oh, lots of chocolate seems to help, too.

-when do pitchers and catchers report?

here we go!

2012-01-08T14:07:00.001-05:00

saturday song: have you ever

2012-01-07T08:24:00.001-05:00

no particular reason for today's saturday song, just an artist that i really like. she's got such a great powerful voice, and this is a nice little jaunt of a song. enjoy "have you ever" by brandi carlile.

the price is right and foreverlazy

2012-01-06T07:59:00.002-05:00

-getting back to work this week has made it the longest week ever. i swear it's been friday for three days now.

-in the category of "it's a small world, after all," we knew two different people who won prizes on "the price is right" this week. TWO! it was celebrity week on the price is right, and our first friend, armando, won the whole showcase with snoop dog on the show. then, samantha, the daughter of a woman in our church won a car and $10,000 on the show that neal patrick harris was on. crazy.

-have you seen the commercial for the "foreverlazy?" possibly the worst idea i have ever seen. they are fleece footed pajamas that you can wear out of the house. i can only assume the low price of $19.95 or whatever it is must include whatever chemicals you need to inhale deeply to put you into a frame of mind that allows you to think it is okay to wear them anywhere, let alone in public.

-started watching "the help" last night after the kids went to bed. being old, we didn't finish it. we'll finish it tonight. about halfway through, i must say, i really like it. i didn't even really know what it was about, but i am, so far at least, impressed with the way it is handling some tricky race issues.

--this week in church we are starting a new sermon series called "when Christians get it wrong," based on the book by the same title by rev. adam hamilton of church of the resurrection in leawood, kansas. this series will take a look at some of the ways that christians sometimes forget our main calling and get caught up in "majoring in the minors." it is also about how these little distractions have become focal points for many churches, further convincing the world that the church in general is irrelevant, judgmental, and hypocritical. we will be taking a look at how we, as one local church, might start to rethink some of this, and do our best to embody the things Jesus told us were most important: loving God and loving others. during this series, we'll be dealing with some very touchy issues, like faith and science, politics, and homosexuality, to name a few. it should be interesting!

-oversized orc terrell suggs has publicly ridiculed tim tebow's faith, for no apparent reason. didn't know it was possible, but i like terrell suggs even less now.

-not that i'm a huge tim tebow fan. i mean, i think he's really earnest and has a good heart. i just hope the steelers catch lots of his passes this week.

-speaking of that, i haven't said much on here about the upcoming playoff game, but don't interpret that as me being somehow disinterested. believe me, i am more than amped about this! the steelers are awful banged-up in terms of injuries, so i don't have my hopes set too high for a long playoff run here, but i am certainly hopeful for a win against the colorado horsies this week. man, i love playoff time. go steelers!

ordinary

2012-01-05T07:12:00.000-05:00

yesterday was a good day.

i woke up. scratched my head, then my leg. i stretched and stumbled to the kitchen and by pure dumb luck got the coffee started without spilling or dropping anything, or pouring the water into the toaster.

once it brewed, i sipped my coffee. i blew my nose.

i woke up my son. made his breakfast. quizzed him on his school memorization. drove him to the bus stop.

i blogged.

i breathed. alot.

i thought things and got dressed in things and did little things.

i went to work. checked emails. wrote emails. deleted emails. archived emails. i wrote, folded, signed, prayed, discussed, planned, organized, and reached out. i made some phone calls. i talked about the steelers game. i drank some water. and ate a small candy cane. i looked in a mirror. i listened to music.

i went home for lunch. i ate some soup. i slurped and swallowed. i wiped my face. i kept working.

i played mighty beans with my son. i complained about the cold. i changed a diaper. i read an article. i had an idea. i forgot the idea while reprimanding my kids for giving their baby brother a mighty bean. i shook my head.

i laughed. i remembered. i yawned. i ate dinner. i filled myself. i went to a meeting. i prayed. i talked. i walked home. i hit the power button. i watched. i laughed. i got sleepy. i nestled. i scratched my side. i went to bed.

yesterday was a good day.

yesterday was an ordinary day.

yesterday was the tenth day. of Christmas.

and here's the situation: did it matter? i mean, Christmas. did it matter? eleven days we not only opened presents and marvelled at missing cookies, but we also celebrated the birth of Hope and Redemption. we worshipped and sang and rejoiced and smiled and said some pretty remarkable statements about peace on earth and good will for every human being.

and then what?

back to ordinary days. back to tooth-brushing and meal-planning and child-rearing. back to scratching your head and blowing your nose. back to mondays and mighty beans and mundanity. (i know i made up a word).

so all of this ordinariness begs the question (at least for me): did Christmas matter? did it make any difference? did all that stuff i said and preached about Christmas being more than an excuse for gluttonous consumerism find it's way like a seed to soil in my own heart? did the birth of hope find its own expression in my own life, or is it relegated to some manger-like corner of my heart, packed away until next year?

yesterday was a good day. and today's looking good, too. but as i breathe and blog and get back into the routine, i must decide if Christmas made any difference for me. i must move through the mundane remembering the miracle.

12-4: my trip to cleveland

2012-01-04T08:32:00.000-05:00

as you have surely heard by now, i was fortunate enough to win tickets through a local radio station and travel agency to the steelers final game of the season in cleveland on sunday, january 1st. the two tickets included the round trip bus ride to cleveland. since shannon couldn't leave the baby for so long, i took my sister-in-law who is a steelers fan and has never seen them play in person. we caught the bus in selinsgrove at 8am (on new year's day!) and enjoyed the road trip to cleveland. i knew there was no way i'd be sleeping on the way, and i was right. i just had too much adrenaline and excitement. i must say, though, that cleveland, as a cityscape, is less than impressive. approaching cleveland is a distinctly different experience that driving into pittsburgh from the fort pitt or liberty tubes. still, we got the the stadium, parked about 25 feet from lake erie, and got off the bus for some tailgating.

when we stepped off the bus, we each received a steady punch in the face. the wind. it was ridiculous. you had to sort of brace yourself against it or it would cause you to lose your balance. it was blowing grills over. bags of chips were flying across the parking lot. hats were lost. and so on. except for the giant brown lake and the assaulting wind, you might have thought you were in pittsburgh, at least by looking at the fans. it seemed to be about 75-80% steelers fans in the parking lots. there were various chants of "here we go steelers" and even a ceremonial burning of a browns flag. we finally moved towards the stadium, just to see if we could get away from the relentless wind. hey, at least it wasn't raining.

our seats weren't prime, by any means (upper level, probably 20 or so rows from the top, at the corner of the stadium), but the view was fine and the stadium staff were friendly. once we got situated and approached kickoff, it became clear that the crowd was somewhere around 50-50 steelers/browns fans. if i had to choose, i would say there were more steelers fans than browns fan, but i could be wrong. still, it was impressive to see that many steelers fans in a 'foreign land.'

the game itself was, well, ugly. there wasn't that much to get excited about. i was happy to see ben was playing. i was happy to see troy get an interception.

and i was more than thrilled to see hines get the 5 catches he needed for 1,000. i have been a hines ward fan since the year they drafted him. when he first reported to training camp, he was assigned number 15. 15 has always been my favorite number, and wide receiver has always been my favorite position, so i immediately took an interest in hines. it was merely an interest at first, but it soon grew into awe and deep admiration after watching him make tough catches across the middle, sniff out the end zone no matter what elite db was trying to take him down, and block the snot out of whoever was in his way, regardless of size or reputation. he was tough. he was undersized. he was enjoying every second of it. i loved all of that. i loved when he would go up for a 6-yard catch, take a helmet to the chin, and get up smiling, inspiring tunch ilkin to say, "hines is tougher than woodpecker lips!"

in short, hines ward is my favorite steeler of all time. his is the only officially licensed jersey i have ever owned. i got his autograph at training camp in 2007. i have written about him. and now, i got to be in the stadium as he did something that only 7 other players have EVER done before him in the nfl: catch 1,000 passes. that is remarkable, given that he plays in a bad-weather city for a team that for much of his career has been known for running the ball. he is an amazing individual, a super-bowl mvp, a college quarterback turned nfl wide receiver, a dancing with the stars champion, a man of mixed race and a broken home, and a smiling fool. i couldn't have been any happier than to see him catch that stupid shovel pass for -2 yards. i was the first one (at least in my section) standing and waving my terrible towel for that 2-yard loss. i wasn't cheering for the steelers or the offense or for the game. i was cheering for hines ward, my favorite football player of all time.

meanwhile, there was still a game going on. while it didn't show on the scoreboard, the steelers were dominating the game for the most part, when antonio caught a big pass near the end of the first half (i was in the bathroom).

the game proceeded much the way that most steelers games against inferior opponents go: it was WAY too close. in fact, it was so close that it all came down to one final play. the one pictured below. a throw to the end zone in the snow that was, as you can see, almost a very terrible ending for the steelers.

but, the ball bounced to the turf, and the steelers escaped the cleveland wind with a win and a ticket to denver to play the tebows, err, i mean broncos, in the first round of the playoffs. it was cold, but we were fortunate to stay pretty much dry, despite some blowing rain and snow throughout various parts of the game. i enjoyed the game thoroughly, and screamed my voice away. the browns fans around me were (mostly) hospitable, though understandably frustrated with another losing season and another loss to their hated rivals.

after the game we got back to the bus, and waited in traffic for at least an hour and a half, if not more. once we finally got out of cleveland, we hit tons of snow and ice on 77, which clearly had not yet been salted at all (was all of ohio still sleeping off a new year's hangover, or what?). our bus slowed to a snail's pace, which all resulted in me not walking through my front door until 4am, delirious with exhaustion.

so it was a wonderful experience, and i really enjoyed it. and will cherish it as a great steelers memory for years to come. again, a big thanks to 92.3 WVSL and Miller Travel Agency for the opportunity.

go steelers!

the next adventure

2012-01-03T07:48:00.002-05:00

that, my friends, is called a hiatus.

i took a little break. spent some time with family. unwrapped too many presents. stayed up too late and laughed very hard. i never once thought, "ah, i should probably write something for the blog." nope. i knew it would still be here when i got back, so i just left it alone. i was barely even online at all during the Christmas break. i wouldn't want to live that way (unplugged), but it was a nice little holiday retreat, so to speak.

of course, the retreat ended with a bus trip to cleveland that went from 8am on sunday to 4am on monday, so i'm still trying to get my bearings after an amazing and exhausting 32 hour trip. more on that tomorrow.

in the meantime, just thought i'd let you know that i'm back in the swing of things, and ready to write again. i wonder what 2012 will have in store?

let's find out together.

that, my friends, is called an adventure.

merry christmas

2011-12-25T05:07:00.000-05:00

saturday song: renegade

2011-12-24T07:09:00.000-05:00

well, for today's saturday song, i have a special edition. last night i found out that i won a contest. that's news enough, since i can't remember ever winning a contest.

but it's even better. i won 2 steelers tickets to seem them play on new years day in cleveland, and it includes the round trip bus ride. so, to kick off my 2012, i'll be in cleveland watching my beloved steelers in cleveland browns stadium. i can't wait!

and so, to celebrate that, as well as to acknowledge that the steelers playing the rams today, today's saturday song is a steelers classic: renegade, by styx.

go steelers!

milinovich family christmas video 2011

2011-12-22T09:34:00.000-05:00

each year for christmas i try and make some kind of music video to 'tell the story' of our christmas season as a family and capture a moment in time. my hope is both that these will be cherished in the future by these dancing fools and enjoyed by both family and friends far and near presently. click here to see the one i made last year, here for 2009's version, and here for the first one i did, back in 2008.

and now, without further ado, here is this year's model: all i want for christmas is my two front teeth. enjoy.

christmastime is coming

2011-12-21T08:19:00.002-05:00

christmas is only four days away, and we've been busy capturing the wonder of the season with the camera. here are a couple family shots that i enjoyed. the annual christmas video will be here soon, so stay tuned.

get back up

2011-12-20T10:12:00.001-05:00

well, poop. after that turd the steelers left in san francisco, all i can say for them - and for me - is that its time to get back up again. there are WAY bigger and better things going on this week, so it's just time to get back up.

purple rain

2011-12-19T05:46:00.000-05:00

there's only one thing that brings me more joy than a ravens loss...

and that's a steelers victory.

go steelers! let's take over the conference tonight. clear eyes...full hearts...can't lose!!!

saturday song: come and worship

2011-12-17T06:50:00.000-05:00

it's hard to believe that Christmas is just about a week away. i hope you are experiencing the blessedness of this season of waiting and expectation, even if you are also neck-deep in the busyness of it.

for today's saturday song, i bring you a song that has become one of my favorite Christmas songs. it is by an artist named bebo norman, and it's simple yet powerful refrain of "come and worship" feels so much like the anthem of my life's work, that i can't help but feel at home when i hear it. everything in my soul rises up and cups eager hands to the mouth of my life in full volume: COME AND WORSHIP! COME AND WORSHIP!

oh, man, don't even get me started. this song just says it the way i want my life to say it. i found this video that someone made, presumably with clips from the relatively recent movie "the nativity." while i am in no way advocating for that film (having never seen it), nor agreeing that the way this video displays the nativity is the way it actually happened, i will say that it is interesting to have a picture to look at, at least for the sake of comparing it to the picture in your head if you have one, or to help you along that process if you don't. or, if you prefer, just close your eyes and listen to the song. either way, just come and worship. Christmas is eight days away.

a baby changes everything

2011-12-15T07:13:00.003-05:00

a baby changes everything. this is the name of a song that was sung beautifully in our church on sunday. and as we have been rehearsing it and then hearing it again on sunday, i have been reflecting on the meaning of those words in a way that having a child 4 months ago uniquely affords me.

a baby does change everything.

a baby is such a symbol of radical hope. we look at a world that is so depressing at times, so hopeless, and yet it seems that love compels us to act in great hope in the face of such despair. in the midst of wars and recessions and epidemics and -perhaps worst of all - party politics, we still have hope; we still have children. we give birth to beings, from the emptiness of non-existence, to the warm waters of the womb, to, eventually, the chaos and noise and jarring brokenness of this wide world. and yet we go through this journey anyway, because somewhere inside us we believe - we hope against hope - that this is a worthwhile adventure. that it won't always be like this. that someday, maybe even through a little baby, God will redeem the hell out of this beautiful mess, both the one that i call 'me,' and the one i call the world.

i certainly know how a baby changes everything - or learned it again this year. a baby changes the normal night sounds. changes sleep patterns. changes home decor. it's changed our parenting strategy; changed our family dynamics; and changed the rhythm of our days. our baby has changed everything, including my capacity to love, which i never thought could happen. a baby changes everything. even the world. even me.

i saw daddy punching santa claus

2011-12-14T06:43:00.000-05:00

ho ho ho.

i love the whole santa myth. some people find this surprising, since i am a pastor, and there are some cultural expectations that Christians should be militant against the secular portions of the Christmas tradition. well, you're talking to the wrong pastor for that.

santa claus, of course, is not a secular figure at all, and is a jolly old saint who embodies the christian ideals of kindness, generosity, giving to the poor, and love. he does NOT, however, despite the way that parts of our culture have tried to hijack him, represent gluttony, greed, or unchecked capitalism.

all of that, to say this.

we went to the mall on monday night to see santa claus (not really santa claus, of course, but helping him). i specifically got on the mall's website before we went to see what the policies for photography/video were, and to see how much it cost to purchase the pictures which they take. the guidelines were quite clear. guests are not permitted to take pictures from within the santa set (emphasis mine), and sitting on santa's lap is FREE. the cheapest photo option is $22 for one picture. one picture! ridiculous.

so, i figured we would sit on the jolly old elf's lap, and i would stand outside the santa set and snap a few pictures and perhaps capture some video of the event, as i've done every year.

however, when we got there and i removed myself from the santa set in order to take said pictures, i was told by one of santa's "little helpers" that - and i quote - i can't video from there. okay. i simply mentioned that their guidelines mentioned no such restriction, and then i started getting my camera ready. she proceeded to help santa by telling me that there was no photography from there either. i'm sure i assumed a quizzical look as i explained that i was quite clearly outside the santa set as per the printed instructions right there on the sign. all she would say is, "i'm sorry. it's not my rule. then she mumbled something about the mall's rules, but this was clearly just a lame attempt to scapegoat her mall santa company's greed onto someone else.

let me be clear here. i don't ultimately have a problem with a 'no photography' rule. actually, i do, but i would have been willing to abide by that rule, if that had been made clear. but it wasn't. in fact, the printed restriction seemed to make it clear that photography was indeed permitted, outside of certain areas. it was misleading and i was annoyed by this, especially since santa's helper wouldn't acknowledge this discrepancy between the printed rule and her new one.

looking back on it, i wish i would have taken the pictures anyway, since there were no printed restrictions prohibiting what i was doing. but, alas, i didn't. i am a dang rule-follower. so i packed up the camera's. by this time, the whole family was all upset because i just about got thrown out of the mall by a matronly elf. so, the story ends with us - a fired up dad, an extremely embarrassed mom, and some confused children - awkwardly walking away from saint nick, without any picture at all, not even a grossly overpriced one.

once i cooled off a bit, i remembered that i had seen an old santa suit stuck up on a shelf in the church somewhere. so i stopped by the church on the way home, secretly put the suit in the car and brought it home. while the kids went and played, i changed into costume, and then came into the living room with a boisterous "ho ho ho!" they pretty much immediately knew it was me (santa doesn't wear black rimmed glasses, apparently), but we had fun laughing about it and at least got a picture. i only charged $15 for the pic, and i even allowed shannon to stand inside the living room to take the photo. anyway, we got some fun pics and a memory that we'll laugh about for some time.

okay, so maybe they're not the greatest pictures in the world, but, hey, at least we didn't pay $22 for a picture that looks like this:

christmas vinyl and familiar faces

2011-12-13T07:03:00.000-05:00

yes, i'm a nerd. in many ways, i suppose. one of which is that i have a vinyl collection. saying "i have a vinyl collection" is one way that nerds try to sound cool. it means, i still have tons of records (those big black cds that played music, for all those born in the '80's and have no idea what i'm talking about). in fact, i still buy them at flea markets and yard sales and, when i'm feeling ultra-hip, at vinyl stores, like this coolest one ever in princeton, nj.

i love lp's. i like the ambient sound of a record, complete with scratches and hisses. i love the big format, with large pictures and artwork and often a full set of lyrics. i love the weight of it: when you buy music you get something literally heavy.

in short, records are awesome, and yes, i'm a nerd.

anyway, each year at christmas, i go through my vinyl collection and pull out all my christmas albums so we can listen to them, and at the very least, have them be a part of our festive Christmas decor. currently they are leaned up against my cd cabinet. for awhile i had this one displayed:

but one day, cade told me that he wanted to put a different one in the front. so he looked through them, and pulled this one out:

i'm not really sure that cade knows what records are, but it appears he thinks that the jackets are oversized cardboard pictures of people we know. after he moved this one to the front, he asked me why we had this picture of "pappy without his glasses and great jeanie." i chuckled, but the more i looked at it, the more i saw the resemblance to these people in our extended family.

then, the other day, he found this record

and he very matter-of-factly pointed out that it was our family friend suebee. it's not that he thinks these people look like the people we know, it's that he really thinks it is them. it's so adorable and i love it. i also think he's right most of the time, which is cool. but he was never more right than in this last example.

cade found a bing crosby christmas album, where bing is wearing a santa hat, and said it was dr. tom from church. dr. tom was in the christmas play that we just finished at church, and so we've all spent a great deal of time together at rehearsals. and when cade saw the bing crosby record, he simply stated that it was dr. tom. and i was struck by the resemblance, so i made a little comparison for you. dr. tom, if you're reading, cade (and i) think you look like bing.

if nothing else, cade's innocence reminds me to keep my eyes open for the "magic" of life all around me. it's a major theme of this blog, of course, and is probably a message i need to hear over and over again. what looks like just a familiar old piece of christmas cardboard to me might just be a window into thinking of a dear friend, not to mention reckless laughter. these joyous moments of surprise and life are hidden all around us, if only we had eyes to see them; if only we would be like a child.

so, in closing, cade and i will probably see you around our house. you should just hope it isn't in this christmas album cover:

newsworthy

2011-12-12T07:56:00.002-05:00

yesterday our church put on a great play called "live from bethlehem" which involved so many different people from different age groups, from a 4-month old all the way up. it is very worthwhile to be a part of something so much bigger than yourself, and to have such involvement from across the church community. we performed the play at a nursing home last week for around 100 people, and then again at our church yesterday for well over a hundred. all in all, we had tons of fun, and hopefully got across the message of Christmas in a fresh way.

in the picture above you see some of our children who are busy singing 'away in a manger.' i hadn't realized it until rehearsing for this play, but cade is clearly a microphone hog and drama king. he wanted to be front and center everytime and really sing into that mic. during one of the performances he swayed dramatically near the end of the song, finally collapsing at the final note ala jimmy hendrix or janis joplin. very rock-n-roll. of course i don't have any idea where he would have ever seen such behavior.

here is shannon - aka esther - with a field reporter from the BBS (bethlehem broadcasting system) doing a live interview about the journey to bethlehem. she is a total ham. the field reporter, by the way, is played by my doctor, in whom i have lost a great deal of confidence after this performance. only kidding. i think. i'm just praying he doesn't wear that wig next time he needs to check me for a hernia.

and then here is the (un)holy family. the star role is played by our son quinton, who at 4 months old and 20-some pounds is the biggest baby Jesus ever, but at least he was relatively silent for the silent night portion of the show, which is more than we can say for the rest of the cast.

the play dealt with the idea of a news channel covering the birth of Christ. the odd truth of it, of course, is that if Jesus were to be born into our world today, even with so many around-the-clock news channels and extreme coverage of just about everything, one gets the feeling that this story would slide right under the radar. a baby being born isn't usually headline-grabbing stuff. especially when that baby is born to a simple worker from a small town and a humble girl from the middle of nowhere. the news would likely be much more interested in the latest presidential "flub" or spinning the newest unemployment figures or even telling us what lady gaga wore to this or that awards show. but the savior of the universe? the one who would be love? that wouldn't have even made the religion page.

perhaps the same unfortunate script is played out in our hearts and lives each year. the greatest story ever told takes a back seat to the rest of what the season has to offer, much of which is good, just not nearly as good. i, for one, want to make sure that the front page headline of my life during this season is the birth of love, not only as an historical event, but as a personal reality.

saturday song: heat/snow miser

2011-12-10T08:10:00.001-05:00

well, advent continues, and that means that our family tradition of advent socks is in full swing. we have 24 socks hanging on our big double window, and each day the kids get to look in a sock and see what is inside. sometimes it is a small gift or piece of candy, but most times it is an activity to do. yesterday's activity was that they got to watch a holiday movie, eat popcorn, and all of us -as a family - camped out in the living room by the Christmas tree for the night. we had a blast.

before we went to bed, we saw "the year without a santa claus" christmas special on tv, and so i thought i would share this classic song from that show. enjoy you saturday, and stay warm. or cool. whichever you prefer.

10-3. toughtest.quarterback.ever.

2011-12-09T10:11:00.001-05:00

getting our christmas tree

2011-12-08T06:41:00.001-05:00

saturday we went to a local tree farm to cut down our christmas tree. it was a gorgeous day, and we had fun selecting the perfect tree.

no tree farm is complete without an old caboose, right? it made for a nice picture, anyway.

when we got it home, we noticed a male model walking by. we asked him to help us carry our tree into the house, and we snapped this picture of him. clearly he must do some weightlifting.

and here are the boys in front of the finished product, wearing their new christmas glasses, which, when used to look at the lights on the tree, display hundreds of little snowmen or santas. it's beginning to look alot like christmas!

pizza and pajama pants

2011-12-07T06:45:00.001-05:00

--oh, how i love thee, random posts. i don't have to spend hours thinking about what i'm going to write. i just sit down and see what comes out. it's liberating.

--'new girl' with zooey deschanel is seriously one of the best shows on television. her charm is unstoppable and irresistible. the supporting cast is really fun. now that i think about it, it's sort of like "friends" for 2011, with less hairspray.

--yesterday caedmon looked at our stockings hanging on the mantle and said, "why do we have these giant socks hanging here?" i guess he isn't big on Christmas traditions yet.

--last night was my turn to cook. so i had to make a tough choice between ramen noodles or papa johns. i think you can guess which one won.

--our church is doing a christmas play called "live from bethlehem" this sunday afternoon. if you're in the sunbury area, you should come check it out around 1pm on sunday at our church. it'll be worth it just to see caedmon sing away in a manger (if he does it anything like he did it at the nursing home this weekend); it comes complete with a dramatic rock-star ending in which he ends up on the ground. seriously. he is so dramatic. no idea where he got that. here's a a picture of shannon holding the largest baby jesus you ever saw.

--'tis the season for Christmas music. amazon.com is giving away a song every day. some of them are awful, but there are some gems, too. i love Christmas music, especially since i have about 700 Christmas songs that i can just put on shuffle and fa-la-la-la-la my way through the day. here is one of the more amusing ones.

--the steelers play the thursday night game this week, which means that they play TOMORROW NIGHT!!! i've said this before, but in my paradise, the steelers play doubleheaders every day, and win them all. this week the steelers look to move to 10-3 against the browns. as with most of the other teams we've played this year, the browns will probably put all their emotion into this game, wanting to beat the reigning afc champions, not to mention a division rival. they would love to spoil our playoff run. so the steelers better not take this game lightly. you hear me, steelers?

--we ran out of cream for our coffee this morning, so after i took jackson to the bus stop i went to the grocery store. in my batman pajama pants. i've sunk to a new low. but i needed that cream.

--everybody have a great wednesday.

--ps. it was pizza, in case you were wondering.

one step away from jerry springer

2011-12-06T07:14:00.001-05:00

as i prepared for last sunday's sermon on joseph and the town of bethlehem, i was struck with a realization that, while i'm sure i've had before, felt more poignant and powerful than ever. (does this ever happen to you? you already "know" something, but then you somehow relearn it, or come across it in a new way, and it nearly slaps you in the face? happens to me all the time).

it's about Joseph. who found out that his betrothed was pregnant. and he knew he hadn't been the reason.

we don't know many details about how this all happened, but one very reasonable possibility is the one that adam hamilton puts forth in his book "the journey," which suggests that mary probably gave this news to joseph while she was in ein karem, visiting her cousin elizabeth. bethlehem, joseph's hometown, was only a few miles away, and it is likely he would have come to visit her during this time. but it wouldn't have been a very good visit. she had to tell him the news.

we can only guess at how he reacted, but i gotta think that it wasn't pretty. at least not at first. no one reacts well to being so deeply hurt. sure, mary would have told him that she wasn't unfaithful, that indeed it was the Spirit of God who had made all this happen, but Joseph simply didn't believe her. don't believe me? look at what the gospel of matthew says. the bible tells us that joseph planned on dismissing mary quietly. in other words, he was looking for a way out of this betrothal. because his betrothed, he thought, had been less than faithful.

in fact, one can imagine him walking back to bethlehem from ein karem, thinking about these very things. feeling hurt and angry. this story is about one bad decision away from becoming a jerry springer episode. joe knew that he had a great deal of power in his hands, because the law was clear on this point: the punishment for adultery was death. if joeseph had chosen to go the legal route (and he would have been "justified" in doing so by the law, and probably by public sentiment, for the most part), mary would die.

but something happens to Joseph's thinking. either in a matter of moments, or days, or weeks, we don't know for sure. but he decides that he will take care of the matter as privately and quietly as possible.

now, we have often thought, "wow. what a great guy." but there's more to this picture than we often realize.

think about it. what's going to happen if joseph and mary separate quietly, and then people start to realize that mary is pregnant? they will, of course, ask how things are going with Joseph as the marriage date approaches. she will have to tell them that they are no longer betrothed. and then what will people begin to assume? well, that joseph and mary violated the terms of their betrothal and slept together. this would be a huge disgrace on joseph. he would suffer shame and dishonor. his family would suffer great financial loss as they would have to pay the full dowry to the mary's family. according to law, it seems joseph would have had to pay a kind of child support to mary, as well. joseph would carry this reputation around with him for the rest of his life. and all because he couldn't bear to see his betrothed executed for this infidelity. in other words, he had compassion.

of course, the story changes here and joseph finds out, through a dream, that mary was telling the truth and that he should continue the engagement and marry her and take the son as his own. and joseph is obedient on this point. but i think we too often gloss over all that has come before the dream. matthew tells us that joseph was a righteous man. and yet we often miss what it is that makes him righteous. it is most certainly NOT a strict adherence to the law. it isn't a firm sense of justice. instead, it is compassion. it is his decision to value life and mercy over justice and rules. it is his ability to place the person over the punishment, even though he had been badly hurt, and would continue to face consequences for this action. joseph, for as little as we know about him, is a great model of compassion for each of us. and one that we need to pay attention to.

where are we lacking compassion? where is it that we are more comfortable to rely on the "law" to justify our behavior? the law might be civil law, or church law, or even something we might call "biblical law," in which we believe the bible is clear about something. we hide behind these laws, and let them make decisions for us, so we don't have to deal with the messiness of life. the church today is struggling with this very thing on a host of issues. i suspect many of us are in the same wrestling match in our own lives, as well. the challenge that joseph gives us is that we must place the value of a person over and above the value of being right.

maybe it's a lesson jesus learned from joseph. after all, he did tell us that a great name for our loving God is abba, or daddy. maybe he learned some important life lessons at the knee of his abba. maybe he learned that the greatest law (or rule) of all, is to love God, and to love others. it certainly is something that joseph understood and exemplified. what about us?

steelers get demonstrative

2011-12-05T07:41:00.001-05:00

well, that was better. usually, steelers games involve some intense levels of panic and pacing, shortness of breath, cold sweats and, ultimately, cardiac arrest. pretty much every week. but not this week. now, that's not to say that i was comfortable with the steelers 35-7 win over the bengals. far from it. i'm the kind of fan who wants every game to be 63-0. otherwise i have this nagging sensation that the other team is going to somehow come back.

well, it didnt' happen. and while i wouldn't personally call this game a thing of beauty, it was a demonstrative win nonetheless, and the steelers keep pace with the ravens for the afc north sweepstakes and all but secured a wild card berth, barring some terrible collapse in the remaining games. so, all in all, it was a great day for the black and gold.

antonio looked great again, catching some nice paces and making moves after catches for some yacs. also a great punt return to the house (but kudos must be given to bryant mcfadden for blocking THREE dudes on that one play).

one of my favorite steelers is emmanuel sanders. i wish he would factor into the offense a bit more, as i think he could be just as effective as brown, but here's hoping he's in black and gold for awhile to keep getting opportunities.

keisel's been coming up big recently. it must be the beard getting back to its former length and reacquiring some of its magical powers.

this is just a really cool shot of the offense. phil simms was mentioning it several times during the telecast on cbs yesterday, but i happen to agree with him. while the steelers offense hasn't shown it can move the ball at will, it also must strike a certain amount of fear in the hearts of opposing defenses, what with all those receivers and now three capable tight ends (johnson, saunders and miller) who can both catch and block, not to mention mendenhall and redman. there are a ton of weapons there. if the offensive line can stay healthy and keep improving, this offense has a very high ceiling.

ben was good yesterday. not great, but good. and that's exactly what they needed. he didn't turn the ball over. he didn't do anything stupid. didn't force anything. just played good football. therefore it won't be one of his huge stat days, but it is a divisional win and that's what really matters. good job, ben.

and so the steelers are 9-3, with four games to go. it is very realistic that they will end up 12-4, or even 13-3. one game at a time, of course, but things look good here in early december. it was great to see the steelers win big at home. now they have a very short week in preparing for the browns in pittsburgh on thursday night. go steelers!

o christmas tree

2011-12-03T07:35:00.001-05:00

today we are going to get our christmas tree and decorate it, so i thought a version of "o tannenbaum" would be appropriate for this day. the legos are just icing on the cake. have a great saturday!

rockin' around the christmas tree

2011-12-02T10:24:00.000-05:00

well, every year i try and make one of these ridiculous videos over at jibjab.com, and we get alot of laughs out of them here. maybe you'll get a chuckle out of it, too. hope you have a great weekend.

Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!

four on four

2011-12-01T07:14:00.001-05:00

a few weeks ago we had some friends from new jersey visit and spend the weekend with us. now, just as a point of reference, i should be clear about one point: we are adults. well, at least shannon and i are. and two of the three who came to visit were also adults. for those keeping score at home, that's four adults and four kids. pretty even numbers, i'll grant you, but don't forget that we have the advantage in physical skills (speed, strength, agility [okay, maybe not agility]), reasoning, driver's licenses, money (not much) and the distinct ability to eat something other than a nugget shape made of something resembling the meat of a chicken.

in short, advantage parents, right?

you would think. so guess what we did with our guests? put the kids to bed early, hire a babysitter, and head out on the town to experience some night life? or maybe just settled in with a movie that wasn't made by pixar or dreamworks (i'm not even sure there are any at this point)? maybe you think you know a thing or two about parents, and so your guess is that we just relaxed, being exhausted from chasing kids around all day, so we just sat on the couch and vegged while telling stories about our children. good guess. that would be close, but no carrot stick (it's like an orange cigar...you know....nevermind).

no, somehow, despite our advantage in mental acumen and sheer physical force, we found ourselves spending saturday afternoon surrounded by bins and piles of legos. we built cranes and tractor trailers and a giant lego island, and this guy, which was shannon's work:

did we lament that we weren't doing something more "adult?" did we regret that we spent the afternoon stacking rectangles and perusing through piles of plastic blocks?

absolutely not. we had a blast. you see, i, for one, believe that playing is very important. play gets a bad rap sometimes, at least compared to work, but it is at least equally important. in fact, it is sometimes the same thing, or a more effective way to work. when we play well, we learn and explore and create and dream and take risks. without play, without using our imagination, what would life be like?

and so there we were: four adults, sitting cross-legged on the floor, surrounded by blocks and cubes and minifigures strewn about, laughing and creating and building. maybe it wasn't quite as adventurous as going to the mall and then happy hour at applebees, but then again, maybe it was way more adventurous. it certainly was more worthwhile. both for our children, and for us.

don't stop playing!

thanksgiving chain

2011-11-30T06:59:00.001-05:00

this year, all through the month of november, our family worked on a thanksgiving chain. each night after dinner, each of us would write one thing we are thankful for on a small slip of paper, which we would then glue and add to the chain in our dining room. by the end of the month it was pretty long, and even included links made by different guests we had over for dinner during the month.

it was a great exercise in gratitude, not only for the children, but also for shannon and i. and now it is fun to take a look back and see the different things we've been thankful for over the month, like this one, which is Jackson's. why not be thankful for batman? he stops such awful villains as mr. freeze, the riddler, and the wildly grotesque killer croc. i'm thankful, too!

i particularly enjoy this one, which is caedmon's. it says "magical pencils," and is how he says "mechanical pencils," which i suppose is something he is thankful for. hey, might as well be grateful for the little things, you know?

shannon is thankful for laughter.

i am thankful for hope, among other things. and i am hopeful that even as we put away the thanksgiving chain for another year, we won't pack away the underlying necessary attitude. we need to foster gratitude in the midst of a culture of greed in which people spray each other with pepper spray in order to get a good deal on a waffle iron which will probably end up in the back of a cupboard in a couple of months. we are a people who are very sick with affluenza, and as much as i want my kids to have things, i also really want them to be filled with a sustaining kind of gratitude. and it starts with me, and my own willingness to be content with the abundant life i am living. i hope to leave that legacy for my kids. and i'm thankful for that hope.

8-3 (barely)

2011-11-28T21:52:00.001-05:00

well, somehow, the steelers were able to do just enough to grind out a win on sunday night against the reeling chiefs led by backup quarterback shane falco (i mean tyler palko). it was ugly in just about every sense of the word, and it was anything but electrifying, but it is still a win, and we still keep pace with the ravens in the division. sometimes a team needs a loss to wake them up, but i'm thinking that this supremely ugly win might just do the trick for the steelers. maybe, just maybe, barely winning against a hapless chiefs team will light a fire under their black and gold butts. the season is just about to the end of the third quarter, so the final stretch is coming, and it's time to be great. here we go, steelers!

happy thanksgiving!

2011-11-22T07:51:00.001-05:00

we finally got caedmon's school pics back yesterday, so i thought i'd share his preschool pic (above) and jack's 1st grade pic (below). then i felt bad that there wasn't a picture of quin, so i started playing with some photos, and, well, the rest are just for fun. we hope you all have a blessed thanksgiving and that, along with us, you'll be intentional about making sure it isn't just about stuffing yourself, but giving yourself away in thanks.

giving thanks: a poem of appreciating each moment

2011-11-21T06:46:00.001-05:00

all these moments, falling by,
latent with unspoken treasure:
precious, precious.
gratitude gives me grace
to enjoy this life-rich river,
flowing by, abundant
and teeming with the limitless now
and joy and hope and
the very heartbeat of it all.

but busyness, or looking forward
and looking back, or
discontent, or longing,
or all that speaks lies into my life,
untruths of wanting or needing or uncompleteness -
all these ungraceful urges
breed forgetfulness.
i am numb with pleasure,
over stimulated and under appreciating.
i am ungrateful.
i am blessed but broken.

yet even now
i am repenting for my relentless restlessness.
i am dipping my toes in the water.
i am trying to lean in close,
to listen to the heartbeat of it all,
to tap in time.
i am giving thanks,
even as the moments move by.

saturday song: the gratitude song

2011-11-19T08:22:00.001-05:00

be thankful.

potions, breathing, and deus ex machina

2011-11-17T07:16:00.001-05:00

well, we've put away the halloween decorations for the year, but i thought i'd show you one of my highlights from this year. shannon found a website that had vintage looking "potion" labels featuring many of the potions and powders from the harry potter stories. you just print them out, cut them out, and then affix them to old bottles (which i happen to have many of sitting around {can you say "hoarder?}). we filled them with various colored liquids (mostly water and food coloring, with some oils and other secrets thrown in), and capped them off with corks and wax. they turned out pretty cool, and were a fun contribution to our "magical" halloween decor.

-in other randomness, it is the steelers bye week this week, so i feel like i can breathe again. first time since september. feels good.

-or maybe the breathing is a result of the fact that church conference is over and went well. that is a major stressor for me each fall, and it is a huge relief for it to be in the rearview mirror for another year. this breathing thing is nice.

-yesterday the boys and i were taking turns making up stories. mine were pure ripoffs, in that i retold classic stories in which my children's toys come alive when they aren't looking; the dog talks to me when they aren't around, and i took a spaceship to cybertron (okay, maybe not classic). but jackson's and caedmon's stories all included some kind of conflict (usually involving ghosts, bad guys, king cobra's, etc) and then, without fail, a deus ex machina, literally. i mean, in each story, right after the bad guy punched caedmon, or the cobra was poised to strike jackson, Jesus showed up and took care of it, punching or wrangling or doing whatever needed to be done to restore peace. i'm not sure, but for a 4 and a 6 year old, i feel like this is fairly decent theology. at least, i'm okay with it for now.

"...and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people...." - matthew 1:21

collage: debt

2011-11-16T07:14:00.001-05:00

"debt"

mixed media collage on hardcover bookboard

october, 2011

gregory a. milinovich

here is a collage i made a few weeks ago, just a simple little peice about chaos and order and consumerism. "more and more" is one way of phrasing the american dream, and i wanted to just make a visual comparison between "more and more" and chaos.

i know for me, as i suffer from that great american disease 'affluenza,' i constantly want more and more. as soon as i get what i want, my affluenza kicks in and tries to convince me that i need something else. this goes on and on. it does for all of us. and so we get phones that can be our phonebooks and our calculators and our cameras and our music players and so forth. we get more clothes but we also get better ways to store and organize them. we get computers that can help organize all our documents and work. we get tv's which will store the shows we want to watch until we're able to watch them. and, with all of this, one might think that the goal is to make life simpler, easier and more manageable. indeed, comfort and pleasure seem to be major selling points for products on the market in our culture. but the reality is, at least for me, life doesn't get any simpler or smoother. on the contrary, it seems to get more and more complicated. i need to remember what cord charges what and how to connect each of the 17 different devices to my television. i need to remember 35 passwords, and the password to the program that remembers my passwords for me. now, i do a pretty good job at managing this, i think, but the reality is that "more and more" seems to lead not so much to happiness and contentment as to chaos and complexity.

that's at least true for me. and that's what this collage is about.

terrible towelishness

2011-11-15T06:59:00.001-05:00

have you seen this commercial?

how awesome is that? as you see at the end of the commerical, you can go the website here and see others' contributions to the global mashup of terrible towelishness. did i go to the website and upload some of my own photo's? you bet.

and so, in the spirit of steeler nation, and feeling connected to my steelers kin around the world, i share the following with you:

jerusalem, israel

tegucigalpa, honduras

at my sister's wedding in central, pa

baby quinton

a snowman i made this winter

7-3

2011-11-14T07:16:00.000-05:00

big divisional win over the bungles yesterday. it wasn't pretty, at least not for a full 60 minutes, but it steelers football rarely is. it was, however, effective. ben was efficient, and wouldn't have had that interception on his stat sheet if it wasn't for heath miller bobbling a pass that hit him in the chest (although i will say that ben threw one long pass that should've been intercepted and wasn't). ben has been really good recently, and we are where we are in large part because of him.

the defense looked good yesterday. i was a little concerned with the long (7 or 8 yards) running plays the bungles were able to maintain, but i liked the play of the secondary, other than the touchdown to aj green (what was troy doing on that play?). willie gay had a great game, breaking up a few passes, causing an interception and picking off one himself. he is such an enigma as a player...do we love him or hate him? who knows? this week we love him. nice to see this defense get a couple of takeaways.

and the end result is that we are 7-3 going into our bye week. we are technically in first place in our division, since the incredibly inconsistent ravens lost to the seahawks. wow. i have to think that the ravens rely too much on emotion, which can't be maintained week-in and week-out. so they play well against the good teams, but have a huge let down against lesser opponents, and this loss to the seahawks has got to be humbling. in any case, it puts the steelers in a half-game lead for first place in the division, and if the ravens stumble again down the stretch....the steelers could still end up winning this division. it could get interesting.

here we go steelers! here we go!

saturday song: poison and wine

2011-11-12T07:44:00.001-05:00

for your saturday song today i bring you something to make you think. sometimes i give you ear candy, but today, this is like a gourmet meal: beautiful presentation and attention to detail, along with enigmatic combinations of flavors that will challenge how you see the world. yes, it's that good.

i've been listening to the civil wars a great deal of late, and i thought i would share with you a "love song" from their album 'barton hollow." this is the official video for the song, so it doesn't include the lyrics, but they are very easy to hear and understand, so all you really need to do is listen to the song. and i encourage you to really listen to it. it is a love song, for sure, but not your typical fare. it isn't just about how much 'i love you and want to be with you forever,' as much as that is a wonderful sentiment. we've all felt that way. but we've also felt other ways about those we love. sometimes we feel things like, "i can't stand you,' or, 'i can't believe you would hurt me so badly," or even, "i don't know if i still love you." all of those emotions may be part of the recipe that, in the end, adds up to make a lifetime of love or a broken relationship, depending on how things go. either way, it's always complicated. this song, a deeply emotional love song, touches on that reality, that love isn't always neat and clean, but is often full of contradictions and difficult choices. this song, in my opinion, is really good art, and makes me want to hold shannon close to me and make sure we are doing what we need to be doing to keep our relationship full of life and hope.

enjoy: poison & wine by the civil wars.

an early surprise

2011-11-10T10:09:00.000-05:00

anyone in the northeast will remember that we had quite the unusual weather on october 29th of this year, involving several inches of snow. it was a saturday, and the saturday before halloween, so we carved our jack-o-lanterns, wiped the pumpkin guts off our hands, and went out to play in the snow. here are a couple of pictures of the strange experience, including one of our gerber daisies, who wasn't too sure about her icy hat.

legend is that you take the day of the month of the first snowstorm, and that indicates how many more snowstorms you'll have. so, since ours occurred on the 29th of the month, we will have 29 more snowstorms this winter. yippee.

actually, i love snow. i just wish it would stay white for like 24 hours, and then instantly melt away. it's brown slush i don't like. actually, come to think of it, i don't like slush of any kind, unless of course it is followed by several e's. unless mother nature starts dropping blue raspberry or mango madness on us, she can keep her slush to herself.

prisoners of hope

2011-11-09T07:07:00.000-05:00

"prisoners of hope"

paper collage on hardcover book board

september, 2011

gregory a. milinovich

i haven't been as prolific with my collaging recently. i'll have to blame that on quin and the new zone defense. still, i've had a few minutes to make a few things from time to time, and thought i'd share one of them today. this is a new one i made called "prisoners of hope," which is a reference to zechariah 9:12, in which God tells the prisoners to return to Jerusalem, or to the city of safety, for they will be doubly blessed. God calls them "prisoners of hope," rather than prisoners of the enemies.

the phrase compels me: prisoners of hope. when we are suffering at the hands of some situation or some circumstance, we may think of ourselves as captives. captives to stress. to fear. to anxiety. captives to our financial hardships. captives to our career situations. prisoners of our circumstances. surely we all suffer in some ways.

but God may have a different way of framing our situation. it just might be what led paul to write that the early Christians should rejoice even in their sufferings. God doesn't call us prisoners of suffering, or prisoners of exile, or prisoners of our unfortunate circumstances. no, God calls us prisoners of hope. for it is hope that holds us in the midst of every trial and tribulation. it is hope that sustains in the mdist of whatever prison we may find ourselves in, whether it be the very real bars of an institution, or the equally powerful chains of guilt or shame. whatever it is that holds you in it's iron grip, God has a different way of looking at it. hold onto your hope. hold onto the idea that it doesn't have to be like this...that things can - and will! - change. hold onto the reality that everything that is broken will, in time, be redeemed and made right. even the situation you are in. even the exile that you are experiencing. even the anxiety that is costing you sleep. yes, this too, will be made right. believe it. hope for it. and be prisoners of that hope

the jack-o-lantern game

2011-11-08T06:59:00.000-05:00

a couple of weeks ago, right after dinner, we played a family game in which we had to roll dice. depending on what number you rolled, you got to draw a part of a jack-o-lantern. each number corresponded to an added element that you could add to yours - or someone else's - drawing, including hair, accessories, teeth, and even naming the pumpkin. we had alot of fun with this, and i thought i'd share the final products with you. first, cade came up with a pumpkin named "mad lady." i think she went a little heavy on the eye makeup.

jack decided to name his "name," and made his look like a possessed apple with hair. that's terrifying.

this one is mine. i went with a vampire jack-o-lantern named virgil. watch out, he vants to drink your pumpkin juice.

finally, shannon's was a bit fat, so in homage to the great bill cosby cartoon, she named him albert. one of cade's roll of the dice allowed him to draw something on hers, hence the tiny little t-rex arms that albert has.

quin was disqualified when he spit up on his, then fell asleep on it. that was clearly a violation of the rules.

as parents, it is fun for us to find ways to inject some fun and excitement - however simple - into the regular activities of life. Shannon is particularly good at being intentional about this, and i believe it is stuff like this - maybe not the activity itself - but the investment in time and energy that the activity reflects - that will be really important in helping our boys know that they are deeply loved.

hope you are having a fun fall, and that you, too, know that you are deeply loved!

saturday song (sort of)

2011-11-05T08:33:00.000-04:00

okay, i know it's supposed to be saturday song day, but, seeing as how it's ravens week and all, i couldn't resist sharing this black-n-gold photos of our little man taken about a month ago. i've been waiting for the right time to bust these out, and with the huge divisional game on tap for tomorrow night, it seemed like the perfect opportunity. i mean, c'mon. how cute is he?

and now for some steelers songs for this saturday:

i loathe them

2011-11-04T07:54:00.000-04:00

it's hard to type with this much adrenaline coursing through your bloodstream.

oh man. it's ravens week again. and this time it's HUGE (is it ever less than monumental?). the ravens already beat the steelers in butt-o-more, in dominant fashion. they whipped the steelers all over the field on opening day, and then celebrated during the 4th quarter like it was a homecoming game. i guess they forgot that they had a full season in front of them, not to mention another matchup against these steelers in heinz field.

but they shall forget nevermore, because this sunday terrell suggs -

and the rest of the ravens - will arrive at heinz field for an epic matchup between these division rivals. nothing in all football gets me as worked up; as emotional; as willing to toss aside my usual decorum and instead embrace violent chest-thumping and generally just jumping about the house breaking things; as full of sports-induced rage, as steelers-ratbirds.

they are the worst team in sports. ever. my mom taught me not to say a certain word, so i can say this:

i loathe them.

if that isn't evident by now, you haven't been reading. or you're new here. if so, welcome to the blog of dead black birds.

hey, at least i'm not alone in my disdain. have you heard what the ravens have been saying this week? terrell suggs has said that he own's ben's roethlisberger's (butt), that he keeps it in a fridge in his basement where he gets it out from time to time to look at it. who is he, jeffrey dahmer? he called heinz field his own personal madison square garden, as if he's the villainous star of the show.

it's pretty clear that the ravens have a steeler complex, as evidenced by the celebrations during their week 1 win over the steelers, as if they had collectively just shaken a 600-pound monkey off their shoulders. only problem is, depending on what happens this week, the monkey might just crawl right back on their purple shoulders.

and if anyone will help give that monkey a hand during his climb back to his usual perch, it will probably be the wildly inconsistent and consistently disappointing joe flacco, quarterback of the purple browns, and his maddening unibrow.

i'm hoping - predicting - that flacco will serve up one of these:

the atmosphere at this game will be unbelievable. the steelers will be playing their throwback uniforms....the stadium will be blaring renegade...the crowd will be screaming their throats into oblivion. it will be:

and i am hoping that by the end of the game, this will be the scene:

the steelers must win this game, for the universe is yearning to be set back to rights. good must be restored to its proper place in the cosmic order, and by that i mean simply that the steelers must win this football game (just to go ahead and define my exaggeration).

we have only two very simple sports rules here as we raise three boys. you are free to cheer for whatever team you'd like, but you may not, under ANY circumstances, root for the boston red sox or the baltimore ravens. it is the unforgivable sin. i know i share this on every ravens week, but here again is evidence of how the ravens are having a terrible effect on our nation's youth, and how at least one youngster (my son) is taking a stand against all that is evil. go steelers!

pot lucks and shopping carts

2011-11-03T07:53:00.000-04:00

in a recent interview with the associated baptist press, author scot mcknight argued that social justice outside the church is not "kingdom work."

okay, i know, for most of my readers that's not a very compelling way to start a post. i get that. but, if you bear with me for a second, we can unpack it and you might find the conversation to be not only worthwhile, but perhaps even critical.

mcknight is arguing against those groups and individuals on the left who would be about the work of social justice without also preaching, teaching, or offering Jesus. in other words, if i'm part of an organization that helps reach out to the jobless, offering career services like resume writing, interview skills, some professional clothing, etc., but i don't also try and save their souls, then i'm not really doing what he calls "kingdom work."

at first i thought that this was really just a more religiously disguised way of echoing glenn beck's lovely statement from a few years ago that if your church is doing "social justice," get the heck out of that church as soon as possible. that sentiment comes from the chorus of those who absolutely do not understand what Jesus was and is about, and the truth, quite contrary to mr. beck's entitled comfort, is that if your church is NOT doing social justice, than you'd better find a way to make sure it is (don't run away from your church just yet).

but if you read mcknight's interview, he isn't saying that social justice is bad; in fact he argues that social justice is indeed kingdom work, except he wants to add one qualification: it has to be done by the church. i applaud his words in this interview, if for no other reason than they should be a part of calling the church to action. if Jesus were here to speak to his Church today, i suspect he would encourage us to spend a bit less time focusing on "getting spiritually filled up" in worship each week and a great deal more time exerting some spiritual energy beyond the walls of the church, building the Kingdom. and that means meeting people who don't already go to your church. that means loving people you don't already love. it means fighting injustice wherever you see it. it means loving mercy in concrete and practical ways. it means getting a visitors pass to both the hospital and the prison.

but i want to diverge on one point. the church is not the only one who can be a part of bringing God's Kingdom "on earth as it is in heaven." we would like to have such a monopoly, but Jesus made it clear that it wouldn't be good for us, that it just leads us to complacency and to making a nice comfortable bureaucracy that enables us to do only what we want to do, when we feel like doing it, and to justify our lack of doing anything.

instead, in matthew 25, Jesus makes it clear that the ones who know him are not the ones who got spiritually fed at worship each week. they aren't the ones who spend lifetimes on committees and attend enough church suppers to raise enough money to repair all the stained glass windows. they aren't even the ones who can tell you exactly how they walked "the romans road" and how they believe in their heart and confess with their mouths, blah blah blah. they aren't those people, unless those people are also visiting the sick, feeding the hungry, and making relationships with the prisoners. in the end, says Jesus, what matters is not so much your belief or your church or your worship, but your willingness to love your neighbor in real and concrete and passionate and (sometimes) difficult ways.

if the church is relying on the government or other non-profit organizations to do justice and love mercy, then the church is failing. but if the church thinks that they have a monopoly on doing things that grow the Kingdom of God, then they are dead wrong. sometimes it is the samaritan - the outsider - who is really doing the work God needs done. and if nothing else, that should wake us up and stir us to get up from our potluck supper and get out to the places in town where people are pushing their possessions around in a shopping cart, and start loving them like crazy. that is kingdom work, whoever does it.

cross stitched

2011-11-02T06:54:00.002-04:00

we have a dear and generous friend from the first church where i served in toms river, new jersey, who has blessed us with a beautiful cross stitched handmade gift at the birth of each of our three children. i would NEVER be able to make something that looks so clean and neat, and i think they just look really fun and whimsical. we've hung each one as we've received it, and just last week we received our third to complete the collection. it's already hanging in quin's room, and i thought we'd share the whole collection with you. sorry about the angle on the first two, but they are hung up high, and i didn't feel like taking them down just to take the picture.

i like how each one ends with an owl and a nest. thanks, Gail, for these wonderful pieces, which will be cherished in our family for many, many years.

beating the cheatriots (finally)

2011-11-01T08:12:00.000-04:00

"the standard is the standard," quips coach tomlin quite frequently, making clear that his expectations don't drop off when backup players have to step up into important roles, like foote, carter, sylvester, lewis, butler, and others had to do this week.

far be it from me to ignore this BIG win by the pittsburgh steelers on sunday. now don't get me wrong, a win is a win, whether we win in overtime by the skin of our teeth, with ben running for his life and limping to the finish line, or we dominate on the scoreboard and on the field. either way, it looks the same in the standings. and while i agree with the football adage that "we are who our record says we are," i think there is an added emotional element to the game that the standings can't communicate. if you just barely beat the pats, because they make some crucial mistakes or get the short end of the bad-officiating stick, you take the win but it doesn't feel the same as what happened on sunday evening.

heath miller was critical in this game, as new england seemed determined to take away mike wallace and the deep passing game, leaving some holes in the zones in the middle of the field, which heath took advantage of, making the most of every opportunity.

not to say that what happened here was complete domination, but it was far closer to it than what the scoreboard or the standings will show. the standing just show a higher number in the win column over an afc opponent. and the scoreboard says 25-17. but the game itself will leave both teams with a much different reality moving forward. for the steelers, this win proved not only that they really can overcome great odds from an injury standpoint, but also that they have what it takes to play with the "big boys." they can match new england's offensive dominance, and they can adapt on defense to confuse the almighty brady. the standings won't show that, but, i can assure you, the steelers (and the patriots) won't soon forget it.

warren sapp helped provide the steelers with some motivating criticism early in the season, indicating that they were washed up. not only have many of the older players returned to form (woodley, taylor, hoke), but many of the young players, like keenan lewis, above, have proven that the steelers have youth to back up the experience.

both sides of the ball were equally impressive to me. on offense, the steelers beat the cheatriots (sorry, have to include that anytime i'm talking about a patriots team coached by bill bellicheck) by playing their own game: ball control through the passing game. traditionally, the steelers have been known as old-school, smashmouth, three-yards-and-a-cloud-of-dust running dominance. the steelers liked to get a lead, then milk the clock with the running game. the patriots, though, came into this game with a formidable run defense, and an awful - AWFUL - pass defense. not only that, but this particular version of the steelers is more suited to a dominant passing attack than previous versions, so the steelers took a page from the patriots book, and used the pass to own the time of possession (two to one in favor of the steelers). ben was (almost always) on the mark with his passes, making good decisions, and keeping the pats defense guessing. let's not forget the play of the offensive line who gave ben plenty of time to find open receivers, and the receivers themselves who both caught and blocked when necessary. great offensive effort all around, minus that terrible interception thrown by ben.

our young receivers, emmanuel sanders (above), mike wallace (below), and antonio brown, have stepped up this year, under the tutelage of hines ward, and are all making important contributions to the steelers offense, making life difficult for opposing defensive coordinators.

lamar woodley has registered multiple sacks in 4 consecutive games, the first time that has EVER been done by a steelers linebacker. after a slow start to the season, woodley has really elevated his game, and all of steeler nation hopes that hamstring heals quickly.

on the defensive side of the ball, the steelers, who are famous for playing dick lebeau's complex and effective zone defense, made some important adjustments against the great tom brady, who normally has eaten them and their zones alive. instead of trying to do the same thing and hoping for different results (insanity), the steelers went to more of a man-to-man and press coverage, forcing receivers to beat coverage rather than find soft spots in zones. this puts a great deal of pressure on defensive backs, but ike taylor stifled wes welker all day, and the other guys (lewis, gay, butler, clark, and others) did a great job of not getting beat. the omniscient brady was clearly befuddled and frustrated, and had a day in which he not only looked human, he looked pretty average. credit dick lebeau for taking a risk, and credit the players on the field for making the adjustment. great job of coaching and execution.

the result is that the steelers maintain their half game lead in the division, and move forward with some new confidence about their ability to control the ball on offense, stop offenses with a variety of schemes on defense, and win even with many starters on the bench.

they will need this confidence, and everything else they can come up with, to beat the reeling ravens this coming sunday night. oh yes. it's raven's week. bring it.

happy halloween, 2011!

2011-10-31T08:23:00.000-04:00

happy halloween from the milinovich family. as you can see, we've got a little buzz lightyear, and a skeleton (who hastens to add that he has glowing eyes, but you're just going to have to take my word on that). we carved pumpkins in the snow on saturday, and took these pictures yesterday, since tonight will be kind of crazy (and probably getting dark) between eating mummy dogs, getting costumes on, and trick-or-treating. enjoy some pictures of our halloween-y (love that word) weekend.

our little lobsty. we bought this costume a few weeks ago. and wouldn't you know? it doesn't fit the little pudger now. couldn't stuff his chubby arms into the sleeves, and his legs just barely fit into it. poor guy was stiff as a board in there, so we softened him up in a pot of water.

above: cade's lightning mcqueen on the left (made by mommy), and mommy's owl on the right

below: daddy's bulldog on the left, and jack's face on the right (made mostly by jack)

saturday song: snow patrol

2011-10-29T10:59:00.000-04:00

well, as i sit here on the 29th of october in central pennsylvania, i am looking out the window. and i see snow falling heavily. in october. we are expected to get 6-10 inches. of snow. in october.

are you kidding me?

nope.

so, after carving the pumpkins, i'll be lacing up the snow boots.

therefore, for our saturday song, i thought i'd choose a song by a band named "snow patrol." this is my favorite song of theirs, called "chasing cars." this video just shows the lyrics.

hope everyone has a safe and warm saturday. in october.

cbc

2011-10-28T13:24:00.002-04:00

above: coloring by caedmon.

below: cuteness by caedmon.

steelers recap (a bit late)

2011-10-27T11:32:00.004-04:00

thursday seems a bit late for a reaction to sunday's steelers game against the cardinals, but, what can i say? i've finally got around to doing it.

the picture above was just my way of celebrating not only the steelers important road win over ~~pittsburgh west~~ arizona, but also the ravens monday night debacle which put the steelers into first place in the division.

antonio brown, the second year receiver, has been coming up big for the steelers this year, and is clearly a comfortable target for roethlisberger. it's really great to see his maturation, and it seems to me that his upside is amazing. this one-handed reach catch on sunday was spectacular.

i just loved this picture of troy, so i turned it into a poster.

i absolutely love this picture. it is from sunday's game in arizona, and in this particular view, i don't think you can see one cardinal fan. there is nothing - NOTHING - like steeler nation.

mike wallace. the golden stripe. that's not really his nickname, but i just made it up. he sort of looks like a gold blur, running down the sideline, so, yeah.

there's been lots of talk about woodley's huge contract in the offseason, and how he didn't seem to be living up to expectations early in the season. well, woodley stopped that talk quickly with some stellar defensive play in the last few games. he looks to be back in form as an intimidating force on the left side of the steelers defense, and opposing quarterbacks should be paying close attention. are you listening, tom brady?

blue jays and toy yodas

2011-10-25T16:06:00.000-04:00

i'm pretty sure that universal blogging rules dictate that i'm not supposed to apologize for my lack of writing, but i feel compelled to hang my head in silent shame.

sorry i have been absent. life has been a bit...overwhelming. i keep thinking that i have a million things i want to say, but i don't just want to say them, i want to say them well. and then i get distracted by other things and i lose track of time and then i'm too exhausted to say much of anything well.

and that pretty much gets us all caught up.

with that in mind, i don't have a good 3-point sermon here today, or anything particularly witty or creative. just my musings on this beautiful fall tuesday in central pennsylvania.

-today is quin's 3-month birthday. he is so smiley and cute and, well, round. just really round.

-coldplay's new album came out yesterday. if you don't know, now you know: i'm a big coldplay guy. and by that i mean that i love their music. i'm not a fan in the classic sense of the word. i don't have any posters of them on my wall, and i couldn't even tell you the names of the guys of the band. but i can tell you how much their music has impacted and accompanied me. the new album is just as anthemic, just as sing-along, just as fresh, and just as hopeful as i could have expected. i'm really enjoying it. and, i designed my own album art for it:

-today we were watching the news and caedmon was in the room. a commercial came on for toyota, and cade said, "toyota! that's cool! i have a toy yoda downstairs!" classic.

-i got a flu shot today. my first one ever. generally i am opposed to sharp metal objects being forced into my body in order to inject foreign chemicals into my bloodstream, but shannon insisted. so, needless to say, i have lost the use of the left side of my body for the remainder of the day. at least cade gave me a scooby-doo sticker for being brave.

-on saturday, when shannon and i woke up, jackson was already awake, and seemingly had been for some time. he had gone to the living room and watched the birds in the early morning sunlight. he saw a blue jay, and was so moved by it that he went downstairs, got some paper and markers, and then colored the blue jay as he saw it. i was impressed with his desire to visually represent what he saw with his own eyes, and with his ability to do it realistically. very cool.

-oh, and one more thing. the ravens lost to the jags last night, in a beautiful display of futility. the ravens net passing yards through the first half? one yard. one stinking yard. they had no first downs the entire first half, and didn't get one until there was about 20 minutes left to play. flacco was his usual unimpressive self, and now the steelers are back in first place in the division, where they belong. or, at least until they play the patriots and the ravens the next two weeks. should be interesting....

saturday song: just breathe

2011-10-22T08:52:00.001-04:00

last night our pbs station was showing the new cameron crowe-directed documentary about pearl jam called "pearl jam twenty" which celebrates the band's first 20 years. not many bands that started in 1991 are still together today, and none of them can say that they've called their own shots over their career the way pearl jam has. because of their determination to be true to themselves, they've truly got an interesting story within the context of a music world typically run by huge corporations.

when thinking of pearl jam, even twenty years later, most people think of the grunge movement out of seattle in the early '90's, along with nirvana. there is a sense that pearl jam is somehow stuck in the past, but to assume that is to be completely unfair to a group of artists who was continually redefined themselves amidst enormous pressure within the music business. i've had a love/hate relationship with pearl jam since 1992, liking most of their music, but not always being thrilled with their particular views or the way they express them. and yet i've always had such tremendous respect for their passion, their artistry, and their continued growth over the years.

so, for this saturday song, a recent pearl jam song about making sure we let the people we love know that we love them. tell them. and show them.

my confession: what not to wear

2011-10-21T08:42:00.001-04:00

this blog serves several purposes for me. perhaps more than anything, it is an outlet for expression for me; a chance to vent all my creative energy so i don't explode. but it's not only that. i also get to write down some of the funny family stuff that happens so that i don't forget. it also affords me the opportunity to stay in touch with family and friends in a way that i couldn't otherwise do. there are many other small things that this blog accomplishes for me, not the least of which is a healthy sense of guilt when i'm not writing enough. but today i'm taking advantage of another advantage of having my own blog: confession.

that's right, i get to use this digital platform to air my dirty laundry to the entire internets, or at least to the 15 people who check my blog from time to time.

so here goes.

(don't judge me).

while shannon is breastfeeding our little quinton, she likes to watch tv. and she watches shows that i would never typically choose. one of her favorites is the tlc show "what not to wear." in case you haven't seen it (and you probably haven't), it takes a person who dresses in a frumpy way, and generally doesn't take care of their self, or present themselves in a way that shows they care, and works with them to show them a different way to dress and attend to their appearance. by the end of the show, they have a bit of a new wardrobe, a new hairstyle, and, often, a new lease on life.

it is a show about fashion, about makeup and hairstyles. does it sound like a show i would want to watch? nope.

but this is my confession: i'm hooked.

i love stacy and clinton. i love the transformations. i love the way the outer change gives birth to inner change. i am fascinated, intrigued, and hooked.

that's my confession. don't judge me.

do the clothes make the woman, or the man? of course not. but that's what i like about this show. it isn't just about making fun of people or just trying to change their wardrobe. instead, both stacy and clinton (the hosts) are constantly helping these people understand that they are beautiful the way they are, and that they need to understand that first and foremost. when they begin to "get" that to some extent, then they can begin to project it with confidence and assurance in a way that exudes beauty.

i'm fascinated by that process.

it reminds me of my own faith. how, when i am finally able to receive God's grace and love in an area in which i have been resisting it, i am transformed and (finally) able to share that love with others in graceful and compassionate ways.

there is sometimes a tendency in me to imagine that it is selfish to think of myself, and that those who are really spiritual don't pay much attention to what they are wearing, as they are more interested in the state of the spirit. but one of the things that i've learned in life, and that this simple show reaffirms, is that the self is really integrated and whole. you can't break it into different parts. how i dress is actually a part of who i am and how i view myself and what i am saying to you about my value as a human being. it's not about glamour and fashion and trying to hide behind clothes and paint. it's not about being fake. it's not about outdoing others. it's about expressing yourself, and being comfortable in your own skin, regardless of what others have told you, or what you think others are thinking about you. it's, quite honestly, about learning to accept love and loving yourself, so that you are able to love others as well.

but also, it's just fun to watch.

there, thanks for listening. i feel better now.

oh yeah, the steelers won this week

2011-10-19T07:29:00.002-04:00

they didn't exactly win in commanding fashion, at least not in the second half, but they still won, and they are 4-2, which is certainly respectable at this point. the "old and slow" defence is returning to form and has already moved to the top in several categories, despite the loss of several starters due to injury. if the steelers are able to find their niche, get relatively healthy, and keep ben from being obliterated by opposing pass rushers, they will be competitive all the way through to the end.

enjoy my picnik.com creations for this weeks win over the jags.

apple picking 2011

2011-10-18T07:57:00.000-04:00

last weekend we went apple picking at a little local orchard off the beaten path. it was really fun to take the kids on the hay ride down into the orchard and enjoy this little yearly festival of fruity abundance with them. we picked mostly red and golden delicious and some ida reds. as you can see from these pics, we had a great time on a beautiful fall day.

do it yourself

2011-10-17T08:21:00.003-04:00

after a weekend of having 16 members of our extended family sleep in our house, a climactic worship service including the baptism of our son, and keeping track of several young children, i'm wiped. so, make up your own blog post today. make it clever and witty, and with some sort of deeper significance. either that, or just write about another grueling steelers victory. you choose. either way, i'll read it when i wake up.

carnivores, decepticons, and hope

2011-10-14T07:46:00.000-04:00

"mom!," jack yelled from his bedroom during reading time. continuing in a very factual tone, he yelled across the house, "mom, the apatosaurus weighed 30 tons." as if this information was critical to the folding of the laundry, he added with urgency, "they also kept pebbles in their mouth to help with digestion, and they can stand on their back legs, which are taller than their front legs. also...." and he continued with a vast array of facts about some enormous ancient terrible lizard.

this type of moment is the bricks and mortar that build our normal days. when you are in the throws or raising three boys, life looks a bit different. the moments that add up to make up a day shift somewhat, from what might be considered typical to normal people, to discussions about grasshopper guts, iguanadon intestines, and the talents of transformers. right now, cade says we need to have another baby so we can either name him "sideswipe" or "new optimus prime."

that's life with three boys. it is always an adventure, and always interesting. just yesterday, caedmon told us that he wants to be a "church seller" when he grows up. when pressed on what that means, he told us that a church seller sells stuff that no one wants. i had the terrible sinking feeling that he was talking about my career, and that this is how he envisions what i do, but i'm not sure if that's what he meant or not. when pressed further, he retreated a bit, and shut down the conversation by saying defensively, "i'm just going to keep it in my mind right now."

we're constantly laughing.

but life isn't all herbivores and autobots. it's also full of ferocious meat-eaters and those masters of evil, decepticons. which is simply dad-of-three-boys language for saying that life is all kinds of broken. as much as my kids clearly love each other, they fight regularly and vociferously. they hit one another. they say things like, "i'm not going to be your brother anymore!" and "i'm never playing with you again." most playtimes include at least one episode of tears and hurt feelings, if not hurt bodies, as a result of being bludgeoned by various toys used as weapons.

i end up having to give time outs or other various kinds of punishment, sometimes feeling bad that i've raised my voice too much or reacted too strongly. and when i have time to reflect on these unfolding dramas, it occurs to me (as it so often does) that life is so broken. that even as children, brothers fight with one another, hurting one another in order to obtain the right to hold more toys, even pretending to "kill" one another when they think dad isn't listening. this isn't the way we were meant to be. brothers aren't meant to bite or bludgeon, but to embrace. but the world isn't as it should be, is it? it's broken.

keep that in mind for a moment while we change topics. we'll come back to it.

i'm preaching on jeremiah 29 this week. while normally a chapter from the prophets might be a bit obscure, this particular section of scripture, at least verse 11 anyway, has become widely (over) used for everything from frilly bookmarks to capital campaigns. it has become the motto of anyone who wants to believe in some kind of prosperity Gospel, as if God's deepest desire is to make sure you get a new ipad and a better car. let me just say very clearly that this is a blatant misuse of this scripture. despite a recently popular movement in american christianity (jabez, anyone?), God is not nearly as interested in growing your property as in building the Kingdom. so if this verse has become a way for you to justify spending more money on yourself ("treat yo self!), then you are missing the point.

that being said, i read a blog recently that i think overreacted on this point a bit. yes, it is frustrating when people pick and choose verses of scripture to meet their own needs and justify their positions, but that doesn't mean we should throw the baby out with the bathwater. when Jeremiah has God saying this in verse 11, "i know the plans i have for you: plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future with hope," it is not a promise to give us whatever we want, but it is a promise. the argument i read from one angry-ish blogger was that this was written to a particular people in exile and shouldn't be commandeered by modern Christians for our own use. and while i agree that there is a danger there to try and turn this verse into a blanket approval by God to focus on self and pleasure, i don't agree that there is nothing here for us.

no we are not in exile to the assyrians or the babylonians. but are we not also in exile? are we not strangers in a strange land? are we not living life with one foot in our home (the kingdom - or rule/reign - of God) and the other foot in a place that is most definitely not our home (a broken world)? are we not (and here we return to where we started) in a place where brothers fight over plastic swords and who has the cooler underwear?

you see, as we continue to discover in juat about every moment of our lives, we are living in a broken world. we are living in exile. we are not home. but we cling to hope, because we believe that we have not reached the end of our story. we believe (and this is radical!) that God, too, sees the broken world in which we live (and our own brokenness) and says something like, "don't give up! this is not the end! i have plans for you! plans to make things right! plans to end this exile! plans that involve a future of great hope, not one of despair and decay!"

besides the fact that God uses too many exclamation points, i hope you hear this today. in a world of carnivores and decepticons, God has a different plan. not merely for your own prosperity, but something far bigger and infinitely better: the redemption of this broken world - an exodus from exile - and a homecoming to a place where brothers play instead of fight, and where laughter isn't soon followed by tears. it will be perfect. it will be right. and it will be home. until then: hope.

many faces

2011-10-12T08:01:00.000-04:00

dang, he's cute. he is certainly very expressive, and as i was taking these shots and then working on this composite of some of them, i was reminded of how many facades we all have. i, for one, have a face for every occasion. in any situation, there is a part of me that is willing to gauge my surroundings and help me determine which face is appropriate for the moment. this whole process can occur in nanoseconds, and, without even consciously thinking about it, i become: "greg milinovich, master of disguise."

before you judge me, consider your own self. i have a hunch that you do this, too. it's part of being human, i think. it's a kind of guardedness that we think is protecting us from getting hurt. we imagine somehow that if we can control the self that we project with our faces and our words, we will be able to control what it feels like underneath (of course this is pure rubbish, but we go on this way, don't we?). if you say something to me in jest, but it hurts me in a place that i can't even really put my finger on, my 'master of disguise' instincts will kick in and i will probably laugh along with you, and give you my best self-deprecating smile, but what is happening in the places that can't be seen? and what have i said about myself in this act of face-painting?

in the end, we long to be seen as we really are. we long to be looked at; our true faces beheld, and, in tenderness, loved. we pray with the psalmist, "turn your face to me, o Lord," and while we may yet keep our own aimed at the ground, God calls us to lift up our heads. for God is a God who embraces; who creates; who calls the creation "very good," who loves us relentlessly, even without our face paint on. i have found that the challenge for me is to accept a love like that, because to whatever extent i'm able to do that, i am then able to face the world with less pretense and with more genuine expression, with less fear and more security in who i am as God's beloved. if i can let myself be loved, then i am able to face forward with hope and authentic emotion, not hiding in fear of what you or God might think. when i let myself be loved, i can just be me, "greg milinovich, master of messes, child of incredible grace, and loved beyond imagination." and when i am that guy - when i am who i was created to be - i am most fully alive, even abundantly so.

i thank you, God

2011-10-10T07:28:00.000-04:00

my favorite poem, which i've written about before, is by ee cummings. a few weeks ago i had the creative urge to have my children somehow read or recite that poem, set to some music and some images of them just enjoying life. being a complete and utter amateur, i have neither all the tools nor the expertise required to do it really well, but i do have the need to express myself creatively and to document my children's lives in interesting, meaningful, and hopefully beautiful ways. so, without further ado, here is the video i've put together. enjoy.

every morning

2011-10-06T10:16:00.001-04:00

some days you just need a little reminder of mercy and hope.

the grandy man can

2011-10-05T08:38:00.000-04:00

-ahhh, that's more like it. game 5 in the bronx thursday night. should be fun. at least the grandy man bought us one more night of yankee baseball.

-dear a.j., thank you. i take back all those things i thought about you.

-dear derek jeter, you are so clutch. that is all.

-dear arod, welcome back to the party. now keep it going.

-dear ivan, time to be great, baby.

-dear texas rangers, i see you waiting for us. hold on, we'll be there in a few.

how i get through this day

2011-10-04T08:10:00.001-04:00

it's still grey and rainy here. it feels like london spent the night with seattle, had a little too much to drink and decided just to stay in bed this morning. looks like the sun is taking another sick day today.

of course, it doesn't help my mood that the yankees lost again last night. and that i sacrificed time i could have spent sleeping watching them strike out repeatedly. my outlook on life in general diminished on each successive strike, and yet i couldn't stop watching. when i finally did sleep, it mostly felt like a short pause in between reliving the agony. i keep trying to listen really closely to see if i can hear mark texiera and alex rodriguez begging God to remind them how to hit a baseball. so far, nothing.

so, yeah, it's going to be that kind of day.

but, when i start to feel like this day would be better spent watching all three extended films in the Lord of the Rings Trilogy while dozing in and out of sleep, i will simply look at the picture below, and the sun will suddenly break through the clouds and all will be well.

why do i care?

2011-10-03T07:45:00.000-04:00

usually when the steelers win on sunday, i write loquaciously about it on monday, complete with pictures and overwhelming joy. when they lose? i typically just pretend it didn't happen and forget to mention it all together. the pain is just too much for me to deal with.

but today, i feel like i need to mention it.

yesterday was an uncommonly bad sports day for me. i had a free afternoon/evening (which is a rarity), and both the steelers and yankees were playing. it had the potential to be a really great day. however, the steelers lost, looking generally awful in doing so. then, the yankees lost game 2 of their ALDS against the detroit tigers. not only that (as if that wasn't enough for me), my gators got manhandled by alabama on saturday night, and the hated ravens dismantled the jets on sunday night. heck, even my fantasy team is getting beat unless i have a huge night from josh freeman tonight. after the way this weekend has gone, i won't hold my breath.

all of this begs the question though, why do i care? believe me, i've asked this question many times myself, and it's hard for me to come up with an answer that will make much sense, at least to others. as i continue to uncover the layers that make me me, i have discovered that at least part of the reason for my fanaticism in sports is my intensity in everything. i have a hard time just caring a little bit. i either care or i don't, and when i do, it's all in. i can be a pretty intense person (i've been told that 'milinovich' means 'intense' in croation. however, i've also been told it means 'fast,' 'quick,' 'loud,' 'sexy,' and 'let's eat right now,' depending on the circumstances, so i guess i can't really count on that), and that intensity permeates its way into every area of my life. i am in intense sports fan (see my mancave for exhibit A), and it's not that i logically think sports is that important in the scheme of life, or at least in my life, but i can't surrender my passion and charisma for the games.

even going into yesterday's steelers game, which i had a bad feeling about, i tried being nonchalant. i said to myself, "self, relax. the steelers have a good chance of losing this game, and you don't really care. it's no big deal. just a game, blah blah blah. yeah right, i was sweating and clenching and yelling and feeling every hit and tackle in my own physical body as if i were on the field. and at the end i felt like 1. i had just been through a heavyweight fight, and 2. i could use a good cry.

so, after blowing my nose and wiping my eyes (just kidding?), i determined not to wear the same steelers socks next week. of course, that's just silly fan stuff; i mean, do i really believe that what socks i wear affects the outcome of the game? you bet i do! next week it's new socks, new underwear, and i won't light the steelers candle that i lit this week in my mancave. hey man, i'll do whatever i can for the team.

and there you have it. alas, sports, for me, involves all sorts of ridiculous superstitions and raw emotion (good and bad). but it's quite simply just a part of who i am. if that was all that i was, that would be a problem. but as it is, i am intense in everything: most of all, i hope, in my loving. at least that's who i want to be. i want to live and die with my love at a level of intensity a thousand times that of my football fanaticism. i want to love strongly and wildly and fanatically. i want to be bummed when those i love are bummed. i want to jump around and scream when those i love succeed. i want to rejoice and weep and dance and sing and live deeply in every way. i want to reject the trendy apathy of my generation and instead rise up and care. about more than just me. and if it means that i wear my emotions on my sleeve and have to journey through valleys as well as hilltops and mountain peaks, so be it. i don't want to be a flatlander. and if someone asks me, "why do you care?," i will simply say, "because 'milinovich' means 'to care intensely.'" it won't be entirely true, but the real answer is a little long and hard to explain.

saturday song: when death dies

2011-10-01T07:41:00.000-04:00

since i got it last week, i've been listening quite a bit to the new gungor album "ghosts upon the earth." i really enjoy gungor, first on a purely musical level, but much much more from a lyrical standpoint, as they have refused to succumb to the Christian music industry's desire for bands to make safe and saccharin-sweet theologically-challenged albums. instead, their lyrics feel like they just got done with a bible study (perhaps even the one my church is currently doing on hope and resurrection) and are singing about it. for example, the song that i have included here seems simply to be a retelling of Isaiah's beautiful image of the new Kingdom.

this video is an acoustic performance of the song "when death dies" from the new album. you can see that their musicianship is stellar and creative, and full of energy. it's great art, and it's helping (i hope) the church repent from contentment with escapism or evacuation as a viable theological option. enjoy.

Lyrics:
Like the waters flooding the desert
Like the sunrise showing all things
When it comes, flowers grow
Lions sleep, gravestones roll
Where death dies, all things live
When it comes, poor men feast
Kings fall down to their knees
When death dies, all things live
All things live
Like a woman searching and finding love
Like an ocean buried and bursting forth
Where it comes, flowers grow
Lions sleep, gravestones roll
Where death dies, all things come alive
Where it comes, water’s clean
Children fed, all believe
When death dies, all things live
All things live
All things live
Where it comes, flowers grow
Lions sleep, gravestones roll
When death dies, all things live

click here to go to gungor's site and read all the lyrics from the album as well as michael gungor's personal notes on each song.

playoff time photo fun

2011-09-30T06:57:00.000-04:00

before reading this post, hit the play button above. it will be the soundtrack for what's below.

here is shannon and quin, looking on from the dugout.

and here is jackson, who will be on the mound tonight in yankee stadium, with his infamous and intimidating "smile over the glove."

here i am, making one of my patented moves, throwing out a speedy baserunner.

and here is caedmon, who starred in his own children's movie about baseball, called "everyone's hero."

and without further ado, here are the authentically cute ones, featuring quinton as he gets pshyched for the playoffs. enjoy! and go yankees! tame the tigers!

the bribe

2011-09-29T10:15:00.001-04:00

"the bribe"

paper collage on hardcover bookboard

september, 2011

gregory a. milinovich

i haven't had much time/energy for collaging recently, but i recently carved out a little time just to glue some things together because my juxtapositional (is that a word?) creative energy was like a caged bird, singing for freedom. so, i started cutting and gluing, and this is what happened. i truly wish i had more time to do this stuff, as it really feeds a hunger inside me. i suppose, like many other things, it is a discipline that i too often neglect, to my own detriment.

speaking of misplaced priorities, we watched an episode of the new show "new girl" this week, and i absolutely loved it. i was laughing until my belly hurt. i'm going to be watching more of that one. the new nbc show "up all night" which has so much potential, just isn't getting it done.

the red sox did not make the playoffs. this is kind of bittersweet for me as a yankees fan because, as much as it brings me tremendous joy that they had such an epic fail, i sort of wanted them in because they were so bad it would have been fun to watch them flounder in the playoffs, especially if it could have been against the yanks. but, alas, the red sox will have to be content to listen to the playoffs on the radio while driving around in their cahs.

speaking of baseball, i'll have some pics tomorrow of my family in yankee gear. it'll be worth checking out.

hope everyone has a great parks and recreation day (oops, i meant thursday).

review - switchfoot - vice verses

2011-09-28T06:11:00.000-04:00

switchfoot's new album "vice verses" came out yesterday, and i've been spinning it non-stop (is it really spinning in an ipod?) since i got it. i don't know what it is about switchfoot albums that make me want to write reviews, but there's something there because their last studio album ("hello hurricane") inspired me to write a review, as well. i suppose it comes down to the fact that i just really love this band, and that they keep making art that pleases my ears, feeds my faith, and resonates in my heart long after i push the stop button. although i've only been listening for 24 hours, this album promises more of the same, as frontman jon foreman's lyrics so often feel like the poetry that lurks just inside my pen that never quite makes its way out. he just keeps on writing the things i long to say and asking the questions i'm sometimes too scared to ask. but switchfoot finds a way to say it and ask it and sing it in a way that affirms everything i believe about hope and redemption and abundant life. if there were a soundtrack to agent orange records, switchfoot would certainly be on it.

this new album, while musically a slight departure from the past, is essentially just the next logical step for a group that's been pushing some boundaries in Christian music for the last 14 years. while admittedly trying out a more bass and drum-driven vibe, they certainly haven't surrendered the crunchy guitars, soaring choruses and impassioned vocals that have always been a trademark of the band's brand of power pop rock. while trying out a new musical wardrobe, i think there may be a few misses on this album (especially "selling the news"), but it is forgivable when you consider that the band isn't content just to rest on their laurels and churn out b-sides from previous recording sessions. they are still working hard to create new and challenging art, and there is not only much to admire about that, but also much that most of Christendom can learn from it, as well.

but where the album really shines, in typical switchfoot fashion, is in the lyrics. refreshingly honest (where is God in the earthquake/where is God in the genocide/where are you in my heartbreak? -from vice verses), relentlessly hopeful (born for the blue skies/we'll survive the rain/born for the sunrise/we will survive the pain - from dark horses), and contagiously full of life (i wonder/why would i wait til i die to come alive/i'm ready now/i'm not waiting for the afterlife - from afterlife). the themes have remained essentially true to the switchfoot catalog, but it feels a bit more personal this time, with the title track feeling like the honest questions of a man struggling through some difficult questions, and inviting us to be a part of that. additionally, there seems to be an added emphasis on the contradictions of life, the vice verses, as it were, of living between life and death, faith and doubt, hope and despair, incredible beauty and terrible brokenness. the reality according to switchfoot, it would seem, is that God is present right there in the midst of those contradictions and juxtapositions, right in the vices and the verses of life.

this album represents another great addition to the discography of this underrated band, and also demonstrates their commitment to continue to explore their calling as artists and people of faith on a journey. i highly recommend it.

nacho macho man

2011-09-27T05:54:00.000-04:00

a few weekends ago shannon and the boys traveled down to delaware to visit her brother and their awesome family. uncle shawn took jack and cade fishing, and you can see here how they did. it's a sad but true reality that if my boys want to go fishing they have to go with their uncle. i can't catch a fish unless it's between two buns and covered in tartar sauce. mmmmmmmm.....tartar sauce.

don't know why i'm really not into fishing. i guess it's because it takes time and i'd rather be spending that time re-watching old steeler games for the 47th time. plus, you have to either get in a boat, or stand on a muddy bank. i guess if i could go fishing from the comfort of my own mancave, that'd be different. additionally, fishing requires hooks and wires and something called lures and it all starts to sound a little too much like tools and manly macho stuff that makes me feel like i'd rather just curl up with some chocolate and a good novel. i am most certianly nacho macho man.

speaking of what a sissy i am, have you seen that google commercial where the dad is writing emails to his little girl? o.my.gosh. makes me cry like a baby everytime. every dang time.

who cries at commercials? it's ridiculous. it a manipulative tool that is designed to make you feel like you need to buy something, so that a bunch of rich people can get even richer. and yet all you have to do is throw in some combination of the following and i'm sobbing like a heartbroken 13-year old:
love notes from parents to kids
emotionally charged music of just about any sort. (with the right music, a banking commercial could make me cry).
the line: "when you care enough to send the very best"
cute dogs
that five for fighting song about getting older

just typing this list is making me all misty.

it's okay. i'm fine with it. mr. rogers taught me that it's okay to show my emotions. ahh...i love mr. rogers. i miss mr. rogers. i'm sobbing again. where's my chocolate?

everyone else's superbowl

2011-09-26T08:43:00.001-04:00

well, the steelers eeked out a win last night against the peyton manning-less, and then kerry collins-less, colts at the big dome in indy. yes, the game was a great deal closer than what most people expected, but i had been telling people all week that while i felt like the steelers should get out of there with a win, i wouldn't be surprised if they lost. i felt that the colts really had something to prove (everyone in the media is writing them off, as if peyton is the only player that matters on that team), and who better to prove it against than the reigning afc champs? let's face it, the playing the steelers is everyone else's superbowl.

the beginning of the game looked like the steelers would come out swinging and really dominate the game, but a slew of turnovers in the second quarter gave the colts reason to believe, and made it a brand new game. it didn't help that the strength of the colts defense (defensive ends) corresponds with a glaring weakness on the steelers offense (offensive tackles). it was messy (as almost every steeler game is), but it looks like a "w" in the record to me, so i'll take it. here's some pics, and then it's on to the next one.

saturday song: dark horses

2011-09-24T07:28:00.001-04:00

just found out that switchfoot has a new album coming out at the end of this month. switchfoot, a group of Christian guys san diego, first recorded an album back in 1997 (the legend of chin). i bought that album that year, and thought i had something that no one else was listening to yet. i was in college, and something about that album (which they say they just made for their friends, never thinking they'd experience much success), really connected with me. it's hard for me to believe that was 14 years ago. i've followed their career pretty closely over those 14 years, seeing them live several times and buying up all of their recordings. later this month they will release their 8th studio album, 'vice verses.'

from the single they've released, and what i've read about the album, it seems that the band is going in a slightly new musical direction, handing the keys over to the rhythm section (drums and bass) instead of the guitar. that doesn't mean the guitar isn't heavily featured, just that the songs will be driven a bit differently. you can tell for yourself in the song "dark horses" below. even the guitar has changed as they've gone to a more crunchy sound which is very pleasing to these ears, anyway. i like the song, and am looking forward to the rest of the album at the end of september. enjoy!

bonus song:

today my church is holding a free denim giveaway, having collected over 500 pairs of jeans, etc. for our denim drive. so, for anyone in the sunbury area who needs any denim (or knows anyone who does) come on up to the church (319 catawissa avenue, sunbury) to get some along with a free lunch. we'll be there from 11am to 2pm. hope to see you there. to celebrate, here's an appropriate song.

random: happy hobbit day, nehemiah

2011-09-23T10:57:00.000-04:00

-happy belated birthday to bilbo and frodo baggins, and a happy belated hobbit day to all of you (it was yesterday, 9/22, in case you were wondering.

-huge congrats to the yankees who took advantage of an epic free fall by the red sox and wrapped up the division this week, making them the champions of the american league east. also a big shout out to russell martin, the canadian catcher who is just wrapping up his first year as a yankee, for giving the press this amazing quote, "i hate the red sox." couldn't have said it better myself.

-congrats to me on my first fantasy football win of the season. it is likely my only win of the season, as my team stinks, but it was nice to at least visit the win column once. it's like a one-time vacation from my normal routine the loser land, where i'm forced sit around and chew my fingernails, hoping that my kicker will somehow kick 17 field goals in one game in order to get me the win.

-in retrospect, i wish i had chosen all pittsburgh steelers for my fantasy team. i would still suck, but at least i could just root for my own guys and not have to worry about it.

-parks and rec = aweseome. ron swanson's beard = even more awesome. the office without michael scott = okay. it was like visiting a big group of old friends, without the guy who always made things happen. with apologies to reggie jackson, michael scott was the straw who stirred the drink.

-my prediction on the steelers game this sunday night against the colts? steelers 24, colts 17.

-i got dressed in the dark this morning (it's my day off). i apparently grabbed a sleeveless t-shirt from my drawer (why do i even own a sleeveless t-shirt?). it's like looking at a barrel with two straws sticking out the sides.

-preaching this week on nehemiah. reminds me of a joke my college Bible professor used to tell about the shortest man in the bible: knee-high-amiah. groan.

-currently listening to "symphonies" by dan black. also, the remix by haus of glitch. ear candy.

-curretnly reading "mockingjay" by suzanne collins.

-also, i've been reading a walt whitman anthology. i came across this nugget which i circled and starred, cut out, pasted, and, now, posted on my blog. gotta keep my eyes wide open with wonder as i discover life and love. peace.

family pics

2011-09-22T10:20:00.002-04:00

its been a ridiculously busy week, but i thought you might enjoy a few pictures of the milinovich's in action this last week. the picture of shannon and i above was taken by jackson at ard's farm, where we went with my parents this weekend. the picture below of jack was also taken at ard's. (by the way, if you are ever there for the breakfast buffet, get it. seriously. amazing.)

this picture of cade was taken yesterday after shannon made brownies and cade got to lick the bowl or the beaters or something. in any case he ended up with quite the chocolate goatee, which he wore as a badge of honor for the remainder of the afternoon (along with the heinz ketchup bottle and pickle pins you can see on his shirt).

okay, so this picture of quin and i wasn't taken this week, but i wish it was because i could use a nap. we were honestly both sleeping here, and it was wonderful. best.nap.ever.

and finally, this is just a recent pic of quin. i was told that the last pics i posted of him didn't show his eyes enough, so here is one featuring the peepers. he has either just seen:
A. the steelers week 1 loss to the ravens
B. me with my shirt off
C. a chainsaw weilding madman, or
D. lady gaga.

in any case, he looks terrified. but you can see his eyes.

(ps. the doctor checked him out this week and told us that he is in the 99th percentile for weight)

how great is our God

2011-09-21T08:18:00.001-04:00

this last sunday i preached a sermon about how big our God is: the power and preeminence of God. it was a fun sermon to preach, but rather than share it here, i wanted to share another sermon that i heard given by a guy named louis giglio. i've never done this here on the blog before, and i don't expect many of you to really watch it all, but if you do, i think you'll find it worth it. i don't know much about louis giglio, and so i can't really speak to his overall theology, and i can't even say i agree with everything he says here, but the overall point about the magnificence of God, and the very cool way he makes that point, is well worth the view. there are 5 videos here which together make up the whole sermon (almost 45 minutes, in total). God is so amazing.

mo

2011-09-20T08:04:00.002-04:00

i just want to stand up and give a hearty congratulations to mariano rivera. yesterday he earned his 602nd save, the most of any baseball player ever.

rivera will never get the attention of a derek jeter or a-rod, and it seems pretty clear that he's perfectly happy with that. and what's more, he is arguably way better at his job than they are at theirs. certainly no one has ever closed out games with such dominance, longevity, forgetfulness (a very important quality), and, perhaps most of all, grace.

here's to you, mo. i am proud to say you are a yankee. keep up the good work.

point made

2011-09-19T08:41:00.000-04:00

i'm super busy today, so if you were expecting a full review of the steelers game, sorry. it ain't happenin.'

suffice to say that the steelers sufficiently showed that they are indeed, still alive, even if they have to play with wheelchairs and walkers. they won definitively, shutting out the seahawks and not turning the ball over at all. they better still be pretty embarassed about what happened in baltimore, because they still have a TON to work on, but it was nice to see them find the win column. next week they've got the peyton manning-less colts who lost to the browns, so...um...yeah.

go steelers!

saturday song: autumn and nick drake edition

2011-09-17T07:48:00.000-04:00

well, while it is technically not autumn yet, the weather doesn't seem to be aware of the calendar's restrictions, and we've been experiencing all the telltale signs of fall here in central pa: crisp morning air; leaves beginning to turn, and dunkin' donuts selling pumpkin coffee (it's exquisite, seriously).

fall is my favorite season.

there's just something about the combination of that crunchy chill, cider and football that appeals to my soul in a very profound way. and while i can be a pretty fun guy (not a mushroom), i am drawn to the melancholy of autumn in a way i can't quite explain. and so for saturday song, i thought i would introduce you to one of my favorite musicians of melancholy, the legend nick drake. drake was british, and died in 1974, tragically, at the age of 26. while he had a basically comfortable life, it was clear that drake never really felt comfortable in his own skin as a performer and really struggled with that. that being said, he loved life and wrote and sang about it in delicate, tender, and beautiful ways. he only recorded a handful of projects, but he's worth checking out if you enjoy beauty. check out this song, "from the morning" as an example. and happy autumn!

list of loves

2011-09-16T08:21:00.002-04:00

some of the things i love right now:

jazz
watching a movie on a thursday night
the smell of a 6-week old's head
catching up with an dear friend
the anticipation of beginning a new book
the crispness of the morning
dunkin' donuts pumpkin coffee
people in the media writing off the steelers
singing loudly in the car
the spicy smells of autumn
sweater vests (in fact, a friend and i are conspiring to open a strictly sweater-vest clothing store, thinking of calling it "vested interest." any investors out there want to take a chance on us? our motto is: "you just show up, we'll take care of the vest." you know you would shop there.)
short blog posts
aaaannnnndddd......
fridays.

ceramic clowns, busted tombstones and beautiful things

2011-09-15T08:15:00.000-04:00

random stuff. you know you like it.

-just finished reading david sedaris' hilarious book "me talk pretty one day." the expression LOL is not one i use, unless forced at gunpoint, but if it were ever appropriate, it would be in describing this book. there were many moments where i literally guffawed (such a great word). there were others were i was trying to hold it in, which simply resulted in the whole "santa-claus-bowl-full-of-jelly" thing that simply elicited disapproving stares from the others around me at the saturday night auction where i was reading it. i would occasionally look up from my shaking book and bid on a box of star wars guys, before returning to sedaris' description of his dad's eating habits, LOLing all the way. at one point i'm pretty sure the auctioneer interpreted a stray guffaw as a bid on a ceramic clown that, had i accidentally purchased it, would have given me night sweats for months.

-we talk a walk last week and ended up walking around the local cemetery. it's not far away, and a nice place to walk with kids without fighting traffic, so we often end up walking there. caedmon noticed a grave stone with a statue of Jesus on it, and he delightedly proclaimed that he found where Jesus was buried. i explained to him that it was just a statue of Jesus and i reminded him that where Jesus was buried the grave would be busted open because Jesus was no longer there (he is risen!). i also told him that all of this occurred on the other side of the earth, but that must not of sunk in because a few hundred yards later he found an old, old stone that was crumbling apart and falling over. less boisterous this time, with a real conviction, cade pointed to the rubbled old grave and almost whispered: look, that's where Jesus was buried! while historically inaccurate, his sense of awe was nonetheless contagious and moving. if only we all saw Jesus around us so readily.

-been listening alot to a band called 'gungor' recently. i guess they used to be called the michael gungor band. i don't really know much about them, but i'm really digging the album called 'beautiful things,' especially the song by the same name. it is my personal anthem right now. i am currently leading a Bible/book study (we had 26 participants on monday!) called 'surprised by hope' based on the book of the same name by n.t. wright. one of the main premises of the book is that God is building God's Kingdom on earth. this whole concept is very foreign to so many of us who always thought of heaven as "up there somewhere." we are exploring what the Bible actually has to say about this, and about what a "new heavens and new earth" might mean. but i know this: when we are in Christ we are a 'new creation. all the old has passed away.' that doesn't mean that God throws us away and starts from scratch. it means that - somehow - God makes us new. which is what the One we call Redeemer will do with all of creation. this song bears witness to that in a powerful way. check it out below (includes all the lyrics).

-and i will appropriately close with this: congrats to mariano rivera, the great closer of the new york yankees, on his 600th save. only one other man has ever done that, and he ended up with 601. so, go, Mo, go. (one of my favorite sentences that i've ever written).

i fought the law (who was wearing a fake moustache)

2011-09-14T07:45:00.000-04:00

anyone who has had children probably knows the law of deferred attention: how you - the parent - then become the least important person in the whole family system. whereas before, when your parents used to come see you and give you a hug and find out what's new in your life, interactions with your parents are now limited to handing them the baby and them vaguely thanking you for giving them grandchildren (but not with eye contact: they wouldn't dare break their loving gaze/stare at chubby mcChubberson who just vomited breast milk all over grandmas arms and shirt, resulting in praise and admiration, "awwwww...he's SOOOOOO cute" and so forth).

this is true of blogs, as well. i have a whole audience of readers who used to be interested in the actual words of the blog. now, each entry is a complete and utter failure unless accompanied by pictures of quinton. and the pictures are all that matter. i could write a lengthy post about my new obsession with piercings and how it corresponds to all the experimental drugs i've been taking while juggling loaded firearms, but as long as it also included a picture of quin, i would get comments like, "so cute...can't wait to hold him again" and "BEST POST EVER!!!!" yep. the law of deferred attention. i fought the law, and the law won.

this little small(ish) dude has stolen my spotlight.

and rightly so, of course. but still, he could pass a little credit my way, you know? i mean, where would he be without me? i think you know exactly where. he'd be square in the limelight and not listening to me complain about it. stinkin' little sheriff. go ahead and stare at him. if you need me (doubtful) you know where to find me: i'll be in the armory practicing my juggling.

a bug's life

2011-09-13T08:10:00.000-04:00

we have a budding entymologist in our house. everyday we wakes up and tells me in a semi-awake way, "today looks like a great day for bug collecting." it doesn't matter if the sun is shining or you can't see 6 inches in front of your face for the fog: it's a good day for capturing insects. actually, as it turns out, it's always a good time for others to catch bugs: parents, friends, brothers, etc. still, he loves the idea of it, and so we've got containers with bugs in various states of ill-health stowed all around the garage. morally, i feel like i should be going through some amount of remorse or at least pity for these little multi-legged creatures, but i can't say that i do. i mean, they could get eaten by something much bigger than them, and end up as lining the inside of a spider's abdomen, or they could die intact and end up with a pin through them under the admiring gaze of a 6-year old. if i were a beetle near the milinovich house, i know which one i'd choose: the shiny pin and future of show-and-tell. heck, it even looks like isaiah's vision of the new earth: the spider shall lie down with the beetle and the yellowjacket shall recline with the grasshopper. it's peaceful, isn't it? so, rest in peace, bugs. enjoy your new-found life of fame.